Need good introduction for my speech on Texas Holdem

[JeffSpicoli]

How about

"Like many guys my age, I spend nights in front of the computer in my underwear feverishly working my right hand. Tonight, I'd like to show you what I'm doing."

or

"I lost my job, my girlfriend left me, I've gained 22 pounds and can't have a simple conversation without referencing expected value. But I'm up 3000 big bets year to date and the guys on 2+2 read all my posts."

or

"Last year a 280-pound bald idiot in a Bullets jersey and headband came in 50th at the World Series of Poker and pocketed 173 dimes. This is why I play poker."

or

"I'm dead money. I'm here to show you how you can be dead money, too."

Good luck!

J

You: Okay, before we get started, I have one question, does anybody here know how to play holdem?

Man: (raises his hand) I do.

You: Good for you. You can get up too.

Man: What? Why?

You: We don't hire players here, we train new ones. That's it Skippy - pack your [censored], let's go. Okay, here's the deal, I'm not here to waste your time. Okay, I certainly hope you're not here to waste mine, so I'm gonna keep this short. Become a Pooh Bah at 2+2 and you will make your first million within 3 years. Okay, I'm gonna repeat that, you will make a million dollars, within three years of your first post at 2+2. There's no question as to whether you become a millionaire working here. The only question is, how many times over. You think I'm joking....I am not joking. I am a millionaire. It's a weird thing to hear, right? Lemme tell ya, its a weird thing to say: I am a [censored] millionaire. And guess how old I am...27, you know what that makes me here? A [censored] senior citizen. 2+2 is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine. Lucky for me, I happen to be very [censored] good at my job or I'd be out of one. You guys are the new blood. You are the future swinging dicks of online poker. Now you all look money hungry and that's good. Anybody who tells you that money is the root of all evil, doesn't [censored] have any. They say money can't buy happiness. Look at the [censored] smile on my face! Ear to ear baby! You want details, fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? (slides keys across long table) I have a ridiculous house at the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, I am liquid. So now you know what's possible, let me tell you what's required. You are required to work your [censored] ass off at 2+2. We want winners here, not pikers. A piker walks at the bell. A Piker asks how much vacation time you get in the first year. Vacation time? People post at 2+2 for one reason, to become filthy rich, that's it. We're not here to make friends, we're not saving the [censored] manatees here guys. You want vacation time, go teach third grade at a public school. Okay, first three months at 2+2 are as a stranger, you'll make 150 dollars a week and the Pooh Bahs will ridicule you. After you've done training at microlimits and SSH, you move up to 15/30, you pass that and become respected on SSH and HUSH, you start posting in mid-high. You hit 2.5BB/100 at 15/30 and you start working for yourself, the sky's the limit. A word or two about being a stranger, your friends, parents, other players, they're gonna give you [censored] about it, it's true, 1/2 is a joke. Pay them no mind. You need to learn this game and this is the time to to do it. Once you pass the test, none of that's gonna matter. Your friends are [censored]. You tell em you made 25 grand last month they're not gonna [censored] believe you. [censored] them! [censored] 'em! Parents don't like the life you lead. [censored] your mom and dad. See how it feels when you're making their [censored] Lexus payments. Now go home and think about it. Think about whether or not this is really for you. If you decide that it isn't, listen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. This is not for everyone. But if you really want this, you call me on Monday and we'll talk. Just don't waste my [censored] time......Okay, that's it.

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Suck them in with something like "xxx won the largest ever pot in the history of poker, worth $1000000. In 10 minutes, your going to understand the theory behind the audacious move he did to achieve this".

This will keep them interested while you go through the boring part of explaining the rules and (very) basic strategy. Not sure about the class size, but it might be worth bringing along some chips/cards to play a couple of practise rounds (whilst you continue talking/directing the game). Audience participation is very good for keeping people interested, even if it is only a few people.

[/ QUOTE ]

it's a quick 5min speech. i'm not going into strategy. i'm just going to explain that each person gets 2 cards, and there's 5 community card, preflop/flop/turn/river, plus hand rankings (high card, pair, 2pair, ..., royal flush)

[/ QUOTE ]

Find a WPT clip of Mike Sexton explaining the game, and combine it with a Bravo Celeb. Poker Showdown clip of Dave Foley going through the hand rankings. You got your script.

FWIW, are you judged heavily on the delivery aspects vs. content? If not, I might leave the hand rankings out in favor of something else (talk about all the different shows that have been spawned; the previously unknown players who've won some of the big events (Moneymaker, et al.)

[LondonBroil]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Audience = Mostly 19 + 20 year olds.

[/ QUOTE ]


[ QUOTE ]
Majority don't know anything about Texas Holdem

[/ QUOTE ]

You sure about that?

[/ QUOTE ]

majority of the class are girls. so i'm making an assumption.

but even if the majority knows, there are still a few people in the class who won't know. (my speech topic is a beginner's guide to holdem.)

[/ QUOTE ]

I would start out with something along these lines...

"In the poker game of life, women are the [censored] rake"

...of course then go on to explain what the rake is.

[gildwulf]

[ QUOTE ]
You: Okay, before we get started, I have one question, does anybody here know how to play holdem?

Man: (raises his hand) I do.

You: Good for you. You can get up too.

Man: What? Why?

You: We don't hire players here, we train new ones. That's it Skippy - pack your [censored], let's go. Okay, here's the deal, I'm not here to waste your time. Okay, I certainly hope you're not here to waste mine, so I'm gonna keep this short. Become a Pooh Bah at 2+2 and you will make your first million within 3 years. Okay, I'm gonna repeat that, you will make a million dollars, within three years of your first post at 2+2. There's no question as to whether you become a millionaire working here. The only question is, how many times over. You think I'm joking....I am not joking. I am a millionaire. It's a weird thing to hear, right? Lemme tell ya, its a weird thing to say: I am a [censored] millionaire. And guess how old I am...27, you know what that makes me here? A [censored] senior citizen. 2+2 is entirely comprised of people your age, not mine. Lucky for me, I happen to be very [censored] good at my job or I'd be out of one. You guys are the new blood. You are the future swinging dicks of online poker. Now you all look money hungry and that's good. Anybody who tells you that money is the root of all evil, doesn't [censored] have any. They say money can't buy happiness. Look at the [censored] smile on my face! Ear to ear baby! You want details, fine. I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet. What's up? (slides keys across long table) I have a ridiculous house at the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all, I am liquid. So now you know what's possible, let me tell you what's required. You are required to work your [censored] ass off at 2+2. We want winners here, not pikers. A piker walks at the bell. A Piker asks how much vacation time you get in the first year. Vacation time? People post at 2+2 for one reason, to become filthy rich, that's it. We're not here to make friends, we're not saving the [censored] manatees here guys. You want vacation time, go teach third grade at a public school. Okay, first three months at 2+2 are as a stranger, you'll make 150 dollars a week and the Pooh Bahs will ridicule you. After you've done training at microlimits and SSH, you move up to 15/30, you pass that and become respected on SSH and HUSH, you start posting in mid-high. You hit 2.5BB/100 at 15/30 and you start working for yourself, the sky's the limit. A word or two about being a stranger, your friends, parents, other players, they're gonna give you [censored] about it, it's true, 1/2 is a joke. Pay them no mind. You need to learn this game and this is the time to to do it. Once you pass the test, none of that's gonna matter. Your friends are [censored]. You tell em you made 25 grand last month they're not gonna [censored] believe you. [censored] them! [censored] 'em! Parents don't like the life you lead. [censored] your mom and dad. See how it feels when you're making their [censored] Lexus payments. Now go home and think about it. Think about whether or not this is really for you. If you decide that it isn't, listen, it's nothing to be embarrassed about. This is not for everyone. But if you really want this, you call me on Monday and we'll talk. Just don't waste my [censored] time......Okay, that's it.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTD