jobs are important ?

[HopeydaFish]

When I was 25, I was in much the same boat as Gorie's friend. I was working a crappy retail sales job, just scraping by and hating my life. I had just finished my B.A., but it wasn't going to help me land a better job. I was only 25 years old, but I had almost convinced myself that I was too old to go back to school (now that I'm 31, I realize how foolish this notion was). Thankfully a friend of mine had just gotten laid off from his job and was thinking of going to College to learn programming. Also thankfully, I had just had a big argument with my boss and was desperate for a change. I basically made the decision overnight to go back to school, went to the bank and got a loan for $25k (tuition was $17k -- it was an intensive 8 months course), and was back in school full-time a month later. It took a few years of working for a bunch of crappy companies in order to get enough experience to find a well-paying job, but I finally landed a decent job a couple of years ago and have paid off all my debt and have a bright future ahead of me.

I didn't mean to go for so long with that story...but my point is that I was in much the same circustances as your friend is, and my life is completely different 5 years later. He needs to understand that at 28 years old, his life is only just beginning. When he's 38 and looking back at how he thought his life was over at 28, he'll realize what a fool he was. $25,000 of debt is nothing -- or at least it's not enough that he should consider himself as being crippled by it.

He needs to figure out what type of job he'd enjoy doing, and then come up with a plan so that he can do that for a living. He just needs a plan, and then needs to stick to it. It's no more complicated than that.

[lucas9000]

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right now they live with someone that supports them but the person supporting them doesn't like this, and doesn't treat them very well because of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

again, this is key. the relationship shoudl be the most important thing. if the slacker is not willing to compromise for the good of the relationship, then both parties should probably go their separate ways.

to me this doesn't boil down to money, it boils down to respect and caring for the person bearing the burden of supporting both.

[Jimbo]

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you're assuming it is none of my business.


[/ QUOTE ]

There are really only three circumstances under which it would be any of your business:

1) If the person in question is really you
2) If the person in question owes you the 25 grand
3) If you are the person abusing the 28 year old bum

How you could believe otherwise is unreasonable and is only being nosey.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you're assuming it is none of my business.


[/ QUOTE ]

There are really only three circumstances under which it would be any of your business:

1) If the person in question is really you
2) If the person in question owes you the 25 grand
3) If you are the person abusing the 28 year old bum

How you could believe otherwise is unreasonable and is only being nosey.

[/ QUOTE ]

you should be a detective or something.

[jokerthief]

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they say they want to help people.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="blue"> I used to have a job working with developmentaly disabled adults and I didn't have any experience when I got the job. The job is to teach basic life skills like laundry, cooking, cleaning, ect. This job is in high supply and there are few people who are willing to do it. Your friend could check this out. </font>

[Sephus]

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He quit, moved to California and started selling driveways

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im in the market for a driveway. can he get me a good deal?

[gorie]

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[ QUOTE ]
they say they want to help people.

[/ QUOTE ]

<font color="blue"> I used to have a job working with developmentaly disabled adults and I didn't have any experience when I got the job. The job is to teach basic life skills like laundry, cooking, cleaning, ect. This job is in high supply and there are few people who are willing to do it. Your friend could check this out. </font>

[/ QUOTE ]

i thought this would be a good thing for them to do also! but they said they tried (i guess there aren't many jobs like this available where they live?) and didn't get a call back. so they assume they'ren ot good enough to do something like this even when the ad says no previous experience required.

it's tough looking for a job when you keep getting declined [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
you're assuming it is none of my business.


[/ QUOTE ]

There are really only three circumstances under which it would be any of your business:

1) If the person in question is really you
2) If the person in question owes you the 25 grand
3) If you are the person abusing the 28 year old bum

How you could believe otherwise is unreasonable and is only being nosey.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think a lot of us naturally assumed that it was either Gorie or her boyfriend. It doesn't really matter who it is, though, the situation should be treated as hypothetical.

[kerssens]

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what kinds of things do they like?

[/ QUOTE ]

they say they want to help people.

[/ QUOTE ]

My sister's boyfriend found a program at a community college were he's working in the school's daycare that's paying for his classes in child care/teaching. There are programs like that everywhere I assume. My advice would be to try to identify where they want to help and find out who provides the service and ask how they can help. If its just part time at the beginning or even unpaid the experience could only help.

[gorie]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
right now they live with someone that supports them but the person supporting them doesn't like this, and doesn't treat them very well because of it.

[/ QUOTE ]

again, this is key. the relationship shoudl be the most important thing. if the slacker is not willing to compromise for the good of the relationship, then both parties should probably go their separate ways.

to me this doesn't boil down to money, it boils down to respect and caring for the person bearing the burden of supporting both.

[/ QUOTE ]

i agree...

it can be tough when you're depressed though. i think a lot of it is "if they love me it shouldn't be a big deal" or something, which is bad. but considering "money doesn't equal happiness" it some how makes sense in their confused head.