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#31
07-29-2005, 01:13 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you ca
"I think I'll move to Hoboken," Jimmy Jenson thought as he stared at the grass in his yard--green, like a 1973 Dodge Dart; wavy, like one's vision after inhaling too many exhaust fumes from a 1973 Dodge Dart; smelling of manure, like the upholstery of a 1973 Dodge Dart; alive, like his ex-girlfriend in the trunk of a 1973 Dodge Dart; and long, like a compound sentence gone awry.
__________________________________________________ ______ Words. __________________________________________________ ______ Charles Manson had always fancied himself a figure skater. __________________________________________________ ______ Massed in orbit around the fragile blue world, Earth, the alien invasion fleet began its atmospheric descent, great processions of battle cruisers and landing craft resembling the tentacles of some giant, space-faring squid, except that a squid couldn't possibly survive unprotected in space...or could it? __________________________________________________ _______ "I feel like Alice will always be alive, somewhere inside of me," Humphrey announced, as he wiped his lips and put down the hip bone. __________________________________________________ ______ Captain Sir Lance Humpalot stroked the the supple, naked breast of his lover, savoring the pungent aroma which lingered from their night of passionate love-making, which had sadly resulted in the deaths of three chimpanzees but which he reckoned to be a fair price to pay for love. "Fred, darling," he cooed. 
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#32
07-29-2005, 01:27 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you ca
There's actually a contest to write the best thing you can starting with that every year.
And I'm pretty sure A Wrinkle in Time starts with it as well. citanul
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#35
07-29-2005, 02:10 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you ca
It's been a couple years and I don't remember the title, nor could I find it after googling for five minutes or so.
It was like: [ QUOTE ] You opened this book. You are now reading this book. [/ QUOTE ] etc.
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#36
07-29-2005, 02:16 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you ca
[ QUOTE ]
It's been a couple years and I don't remember the title, nor could I find it after googling for five minutes or so. It was like: [ QUOTE ] You opened this book. You are now reading this book. [/ QUOTE ] etc. [/ QUOTE ] Sounds kind of like Calvino's "If On a Winter's Night a Traveller."
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#37
07-29-2005, 02:27 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you ca
The air was stale. The continual flickering of the overhead fan was an omnipotent reminder of the wrecklessness at hand. His turmoil could be felt, could be smelled. The lamp, barely casting a light over the end of the room, served more as a caster of shadows than a giver of light. His presence could be felt, or as his mother would point out, it would be reckoned with. "No, mom, I don't want any more [censored] brownies!", he would yell.
His situation was desolate, his mind a wasteland. His existance, much as his favorite bronx bombers, were seemingly futile. It had been days (or was it weeks?) since he was banned from two plus two, and life just did not feel the same. The incessant ticking, the ticking of the overhead fan. Tick, tick, tick. The phantom sounds would continue to echo through the night, reminders of the keystrokes and long nights he would endure causing melancholy among his brethren.
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#38
07-29-2005, 02:53 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.
"Hey Arne, that woman's blowing a horse"
(from a nonfiction book - the bio of Barbara Carlson...brrrr....) RB
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#39
07-29-2005, 03:45 AM
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Re: OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.
Where is:
"I'd stuck it in her pooper...." ???
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