In my prime

[cjmewett]

Yesterday morning on the sportsradio station I listen to, one of the hosts was being congratulated on his 40th birthday. Conversation ensued about how he didn't feel old, "40 is the new 30," that guys in their twenties really have no idea what's going on and for the most part aren't all that settled or happy. It got me to thinking...

I've often heard the same thing from older friends, though we clearly define our happiness in different ways; indeed, I suppose that's a fundamental part of the transition. The argument seems to center around the idea that at some point in life, a man is young enough to still feel good physically, look good and be attractive to women, but old enough to be secure in himself, professionally and/or financially settled, and generally more self-confident.

When I was 20, I "dated" a woman that was 38; she continually said things like "I wish I could see you when you were 30," and is really the first one to have planted the idea in my head that one's prime could really be anything other than 18-21. So what do you think, OOT? What's your prime? Are you past it? Is it coming up? How do you know you're there? What did you have to do to get there? Answers might differ for single v. married, might be dependent on career choice or some other mitigating factor, so feel free to elaborate on your circumstances.

[turnipmonster]

this is the type of thing that's different for everyone, a few weeks ago there was a thread about how it's all downhill after college, but for me the opposite was true.

--turnipmonster

[cjmewett]

[ QUOTE ]
this is the type of thing that's different for everyone, a few weeks ago there was a thread about how it's all downhill after college, but for me the opposite was true.

--turnipmonster

[/ QUOTE ]...which is sort of the reason I thought it might make an interesting thread.

[pokergrader]

After the quarter-life crisis and before the mid-life crisis.

[radek2166]

I am way past my prime. I am much wiser now though

[turnipmonster]

I know that for me every year for a while now (I'm 29) I've felt I'm in better physical and mental shape than the year before.

[Blarg]

Either five years old or 19. I was much smarter at 19 and infinitely more physically capable.

However, I think my personality is in many ways better now. Growing older tends to make many of us intolerant and/or smug and figure we know it all(shades of being a teenager). But it makes many of us more accepting of people and their flaws, and less quick to feel confused or threatened by their differences, or judge them harshly for them. Our self-image isn't so much at stake anymore, and that makes us less likely to seek every opportunity to be jerks.

I think I may be closer to the prime of some kind of maturity of that nature now. I used to be commonly described as very intense. Now I'm no hero, but I'm more laid back and forgiving of both myself and others.

But cuts don't heal as fast, and I can tell my brain doesn't work as quickly as it used to. I used to have a laserlike focus and felt there was nothing I couldn't learn. That's nowhere near what it was, now.

[MrWookie47]

[ QUOTE ]
Either five years old or 19. I was much smarter at 19 and infinitely more physically capable.

However, I think my personality is in many ways better now. Growing older tends to make many of us intolerant and/or smug and figure we know it all(shades of being a teenager). But it makes many of us more accepting of people and their flaws, and less quick to feel confused or threatened by their differences, or judge them harshly for them. Our self-image isn't so much at stake anymore, and that makes us less likely to seek every opportunity to be jerks.

I think I may be closer to the prime of some kind of maturity of that nature now. I used to be commonly described as very intense. Now I'm no hero, but I'm more laid back and forgiving of both myself and others.

But cuts don't heal as fast, and I can tell my brain doesn't work as quickly as it used to. I used to have a laserlike focus and felt there was nothing I couldn't learn. That's nowhere near what it was, now.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess we have to make concessions about how many we can take if those five year olds are in their prime. I bet DS is glad the past version of Blarg wouldn't be in the match with him.

[MrMon]

You might be in your prime, but happiness goes to hell. Not that things are bad in your 40s, a lot of things are going great, but the stresses of life are probably at their max. Between kids, spouse, career, aging parents, debt, and inevitable physical changes, your 40s often feel like a treadmill even though you've gotten just about everything you wanted and worked for. You look back and your 20s were such a carefree, easy time.

But I wouldn't trade what I've got for anything.

[Blarg]

Heh my 20's were hellish. I'm so glad I'm past them.