Re: Cancer v. Jail
Jail or Prison? There is a very very big difference.
Ok, I'll admit it. I've been in both. Jail is no sweat. Prisons suck. I've never fully healed. I never will. My life has never been the same and it cannot ever be the same.
One prison I was at was nice (Vienna Correctional Center). Patty-cake. Played chess. Watched TV. Tutored Algebra. Mopped floors. Read books. Did not lift or play basketball (too many Aryans and gangstas).
The other prison was not so nice. (It's the one where fox filmed most of that show Prison Break.) I was general pop and not receiving there before someone who knows a little tries to point that out. 24 hours of constant fear and alertness really messes with the way a mind works. First, my cornhole is still virgin thankfully. But, it took constant watching/manipulating/ deals to maintain that status. Beatings--I took one. Not that big of a deal. The reward of segregrated population (isolation) was nice for a person of my make-up. It was a 23/1 prison. 23 hours a day in an old timey cell like Shawshank. 1 hour a day of yard time. Time out for work, chapel service, and most meals. Yes, they make you work. don't worry though...I was paid $0.15/hour. Got to spend my hard earned pay on little debbie snacks and such. Met some of the worst. I regularly ate meals with a kid who killed his whole family (Mom, dad, and little sisters) with a hammer. One of my cellmates was a drive-by-murderer. The list goes on. Those who weren't severely doped up (Thorazine anyone) did not think in 'normal' patterns.
But that's not the worst of it. The worst is when your Mom comes to visit, or your girlfriend, or your Dad. Friends don't come, because you are no longer a friend when in there and, quite often, not a friend when you get out. Your girlfriend/wife/ladyfriend is a lost cause. Relationships don't survive strain like that.
When you get out, everything is different. I got to slowly adjust due to the anklet. (See the Busterstacks photo). You are very likely to have much, much trouble finding a job. Hell, pizza places were turning me down, despite a stellar work history. I got lucky and some very sympathetic souls at my local bookstore employed me. When I moved back to the University I attended, most of my 'friends' were anything but. I was effectively ostracized by many holier than thou types. My bad for being the one who got caught. Fortunately, some friends remained so and those people will be friends 'til I part from the soil. I finished multiple degrees with high honors from a prestigious program. Guess what? No jobs. Nothing. Nothing respectable at all. (Take a guess as to why I learned poker.) I was arrested in 1999 as a stupid 19-year old. Many moons have passed and still nothing changes; employers view is that I'm a convict. I can vote (funny state). I live a relatively normal life, but, occasionally, the fear comes back. Occasionally, I am a sad drunk. My birthday is always the worst (great timing when they served that warrant). People are always shocked to find out that I am what I am. I don't come off as that 'type' if that means anything.
But, I still doubt if that is worse than cancer.
A relative is battling that right now, and, IMO, it's a much, much worse position.
BTW-I was convicted of drug possession of a schedule I and got the max 3 years. I served considerably less time. Yeah drug war. Very clean record before. Nothing since. Yes, there was a deal for dropped charges of a more severe sort. Warning: watch what you're doing out there because sometimes there are dramatic consequences to actions that don't seem that bad.
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11-09-2005, 04:46 AM
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