Is Calling Someone Their Last Name Disrespectful?

[IggyWH]

I got into this discussion with a guy I work with the other day. He thought it was disrespectful because someone he worked with calls him by his last name.

I personally don't see anything wrong with it and I call many people I know by their last name. I thought this line lies with old school/new school type thing. The guy I was talking to is 35 but I would definitely consider him new school as he's in a death metal band.

Do you consider calling someone by their last name disrespectful? Is there a defined line to when it's okay and when it's not?

[Terrabon98]

It all depends on the tone...

[dblgutshot]

Definately not to me. I often call people by their last names and they call me by mine.

[TheCroShow]

depends on the tone and if buddy has a common name like Dave, Mike or Chris, calling him by the last name is fine.

[TheMainEvent]

[ QUOTE ]
It all depends on the tone...

[/ QUOTE ]

It also depends on the last name

[siccjay]

Not disrespectful at all.

[Blarg]

It's not disrespectful. People from times before his never called each other by their first names in office settings, etc., if it was a particularly formal office. The polite way to speak to someone was using a Mr. or Mrs. or Miss in front of their last name, or the later Ms. This was done without class distinction.

Calling people by their last name alone became more commonplace, but it was informal, and it was never used with one's superiors. Class distinctions began to be made more and more in conversations over the years, until now the use of "Mr." has vanished for inferiors, and they are addressed by their first names. Unfortunately, this loosening didn't go both ways, and we are actually less egalitarian than we were: superiors retain the Mr.

Calling people by their last name alone is an informal thing, but anything informal can be inappropriate in formal circumstances, and thereby used as an insult in formal situations. It sounds like your death metal friend is merely practicing being touchy, unless your office is quite formal and peers normally address each other with a Mr. first.

There's a lot to be said for tone, too. Some of it might have been a "you hadda be there" thing. Maybe it was more the presentation than the event.

[Sooga]

it's not respectful if you're this guy:

[webgator]

It's standard practice in the military, and I know when I left the Navy 4 years ago they still did not like anyone called by their first name in the "work" environment. It was always rank followed by lastname.

Most of the guys I work with now are ex-Navy and to some degree this still happens out of habit.

[YourFoxyGrandma]

I like when people call me by my last name. It makes me feel like they like me.

Like, totally.