What to do with my life (need advice bad)?

[Buccaneer]

[ QUOTE ]
Also, I hate corporate America in general. I hate having a boss. I don't think I'll ever be satisfied until I own my own business and report to myself. I don't think a different kind of banking job is the answer.

[/ QUOTE ]

There is your answer.

You have planned you life very well but find you are not happy. Now make a plan to find something where you can be happy. Stay a year and leave on good terms. Force yourself to save and pay down your debt.

Been where you are twice in my life. You are young and have time to go back to school and study graphics, start your own business or play poker for a while. Get a plan and work towards it, you will feel better.

[yanicehand]

i never quote it, but this post begs for it.


"what choice?"

on a serious note, you know which path you want- you just need to work up the courage to admit it. and that is actually much, much harder than it sounds. good luck.

[TimM]

Your story has a lot of similarities to mine (except that I am 17 years older).

My grades suffered in my later college years because I spent all my time studying and playing chess - online poker was 10-15 years away. But there was no hope of making a living playing chess for me back then, so I kept working. Now I could easily make a living teaching chess classes and private students, and running tournaments. But that's not quite the same as playing; I'm sure I would hate it.

A friend and I also had an idea to start a business - an internet gaming cafe. We are both into FPS games and he is also a chess teacher, so we were going to do this combined with space for chess classes and tournaments and stuff like that. Maybe I'd even teach poker. We both worked at the same crappy job and wanted out badly. This idea kind of got shelved when I quit last February to play poker, and he left six months later for a middle school teaching job.

I will tell you that when I quit the job, it was like a huge weight lifted off of me. I absolutely hated the job and the manager I was working under. I even had the insomnia you have now. I almost want to advise you to give notice on Monday, but it's not so simple.

The main thing is the uncertain future of online poker. If things were going to stay like they are today forever, I'd say there is no reason for you to spend another day at that job. I suppose this is a risk anyone takes when they start any kind of business. And playing poker for a living is much more like a business than a job, of course.

You would be risking more than I did in quitting the job too. At my age at least I have some work experience I can use if I ever need to get a job again, and the career path you are on now is more valuable than the one I left. That said, you also have the advantage of being fairly young, so starting over is easier.

One thing, if you do go for it with poker, do not settle for a mediocre income. You need to make a lot of extra money to compensate for the risks you are taking. And whichever path you take, don't underestimate how much money you will need when you get older. You'll probably want a house, wife, kids, and you'll want to give them every advantage you can. Save up as much money as you can so that you don't have to be a slave to the loan payments most people in this country get saddled with in this process.

[ACPlayer]

When I was in high school my dad once told me to pick a direction that I enjoyed for my career rather than one that either my family (my mom was pushing for a medical career) or society or money would want you to do. I chose to go into engineering.

Every day for the first many or so years of my career I used to be surprised that people paid me to do what I enjoyed doing. Building solutions and products that others would use. When I went off on my own was the first time I really felt some level of stress and/or involvement with the money factor. However, it was all very satisfying and good.

Then I was burnt out, sold out, played poker for about four years and saw my health start to slide (too much sitting, bad food etc). I then decided to travel and ended up working (at the moment) as a PADI instructor. I still play online (which I dont care for much) occaisonally but am physically and mentally fitter and happier that for the last 10 years or so.

We have it beaten into our heads that we must have good jobs and good careers and marriages and homes and cars. Ultimately, you only have the moment.

Playing Poker for career is not for me, anymore. Not because I dont make money at it (I do), not because I dont like playing (I do) but because I cannot be satisfied by an activity designed to just make money. There must be more to what I do then taking money from strangers. Teaching Scuba is satisfying as it makes others happy, gives them something new to look forward to in their lives. Working as an engineer was satisfying as frequently it made the work of others better and easier.

When I return to the States I would look for a teaching job (probably in a comm college somewhere) continue to teach diving as long as I can, and continue to play cards (on the side).

As an aside, I am surprised by how many people on this board are obsessed by poker -- as it it is all consuming in their minds. I suggest, that a close examiniation of this from a psychological perspective is important. Playing cards (and specially online computer cards) is, to me, for some a form of escapism (I guess for someone living in Vietnam spending days on a boat and underwater that statement is ironic). Life should be balanced.

Hope this helps.

[ctv1116]

Wow, this thread is really depressing. I will now go back into my orange Princeton bubble and hope I will never have to leave it for the real world.

[MicroBob]

it doesn't have to be THAT depressing.

many options and possibilities in life.

it just happens that that is an emotionally tough time in life for some people...particularly when entering an office-job that they find unfulfilling and unejoyable.

But it doesn't have to be the end of the world.
And obviously there are obviously MANY people out there for whom it is MUCH worse who would do anything to have the troubles you or he or I are having.


My GF is a nurse at a hospital. She told me about two patients she had today.

One was an 18-year-old sorority girl who had some sort of stomach-ailment and was told she would have to stay an extra night.
Girl was EXTREMELY distressed to the point of bawling (as if somebody had died or something).
The reason?? She was no longer going to be able to attend some college dance.


Meanwhile, GF's other patient was a 20-year-old Mom who just found out she has AIDS. They haven't gotten the results back yet to find out if her 3-month-old son is also infected.


Stress and pressure and life problems are all relative.


Wouldn't be too hard to find a few million Americans who would say, "Oh boo-hoo-hoo....you make good money at one job but can't decide if you should try to make more money at a 'job' you think you might be happier at."


not trying to belittle lehigh's situation.
It's just the perspective I usually take with regard to almost all of my so-called 'problems' in life.


Every day I have a 150BB down-swing I have my GF there to who I know has spent her day spent cleaning up blood and vomit, etc etc from people who have REAL problems (sometimes including being in their very last days of living).

"I lost $1k today" doesn't quite compare to the guy who had a leg amputated today.

[Python49]

[ QUOTE ]
astly, I LOVE POKER. I spend all day everyday thinking about poker. I can sit for 6 hour sessions and love every minute of it. I hate losing specifically because it makes me believe I couldn't go pro. If I had made $100,000 this year and lost $5k I wouldn't care. Specific bad beat hands don't bother me. It's when I think I can't do it that it bothers me, because I want to do it so bad. I study, I read, I'm trying so hard.

[/ QUOTE ]
Dude, its pretty obvious to me. If poker makes you happy DO IT. I am still in college myself and concern myself too much sometimes with FORCING myself out to parties and my friends house to just get drunk when its NOT what makes me happy. If poker makes you happy who gives a sh*t what anyone else thinks.... and it seems clearly evident it does. Peopels interests change. If some day down the line you got sick of poker, then so be it, stop playing. you sound like me... ive had PLENTY of interests that i spend ALOT of time in because THAT's what makes me happy at the time. Video games, poker, partying, drinking, smoking weed, picking up chicks, basketball, etc... ive spent massive amounts of times in all of this and just because someone else or society may tell you that one is more socially acceptable or "cool" than another means jack sh*t... do what ever YOU want to. If I spent 10 hours a day partying and picking up chicks certain people would think im cool.. but if i spent that same 10 hours playing a video game i'd be considered a dork, bottom line is.. who gives a sh*t.. all that matters is what makes you happy.

[ QUOTE ]
whether or not poker is full-time or part-time you should strive to enjoy life in as many non-poker ways as possible.

[/ QUOTE ]
Says who? Once again people seem to have this notion that theres a certain way everyone should be living their lives... just because you find value in doing a plethora of other activities, does that mean theres something wrong for him if he finds his enjoyment from poker? I'll tell you right now, if me sitting in my room staring at the walls made me extremely happy i'd do it every day and die happier than 99% of other people who lived their lives.

[ QUOTE ]
I get really into things, especially games. I don't think it's just poker. I could say the same thing about a videogames or a sport. The thing is, I could do certain things all day. I like to get really good at them, and I love every minute of it. Getting paid to play poker is kinduv like getting paid to play chess.

As far as doing it all day, I don't understand it. I've read alot that people that play poker don't go to the gym or have a lot of friends. This seems entirely counter-intuitive. Right now I'm out of shape and not very social BECAUSE I work. I don't have the time or energy to do anything else. I don't like my co-workers.

If I was playing poker 30-40 hours a week, I'd be able to do all those things. I'd have the energy to start playing sports again or try to meet a girl. At the end of the day, its just money.


[/ QUOTE ]
You seem to already know what you want, but theres something stopping you from going after it. I know what it is. It's the whole idea of playing professional poker and not having a job that's been ingrained into the back of your head as being socially unacceptable, but you should really ask yourself what would you truly enjoy doing with your life because it's entirely up to you. You seem intelligent enough to know the consequences of sitting in your room 20 hours a day and playing so I feel you'd have the right mindset for what you want to do to make you happy.. nobody else knows but you.

[MicroBob]

[ QUOTE ]
Says who? Once again people seem to have this notion that theres a certain way everyone should be living their lives... just because you find value in doing a plethora of other activities, does that mean theres something wrong for him if he finds his enjoyment from poker? I'll tell you right now, if me sitting in my room staring at the walls made me extremely happy i'd do it every day and die happier than 99% of other people who lived their lives.

[/ QUOTE ]


I don't have any notion that people should live their lives in any particular way.
I do have a notion on some ways that one should probably not be living their lives I guess.
Sitting in one's room and NEVER going out is just plain unhealthy.
That's pretty much all I was trying to say.


It's a fine-line between really 'enjoying' something and being flat-out addicted to it I guess.
And those who simply are unable to break-away sometimes get VERY lost and have specifically recommended to people to NOT play online-poker for a living because they are so miserable...mostly because they feel the online-poker has dominated their lives so much.

It is my assertion that these people could have avoided situations of being semi-miserable in their lives if they were a bit more well-rounded.

To my mind, this includes exercising at least a little bit (walking....actually going outside every once in awhile) and having friends.
I believe there are some online-poker players who are so addicted to it that they have few, if any, friends nor do they do freaking ANYTHING.


I think it's obvious that a situation like this is to be avoided.


I'm not saying to go drinking all the time and bang a million girls.
I'm just saying to be careful not to let online-poker be the only aspect of your life that is worthwhile.

When I read something like 'think about poker all day, every day' then I grow a little concerned that this person may fall at least a little bit into that category.
Lehigh's reply about this seemed like he had his on straight though.



I fully agree with your first part that if you enjoy doing something you should probably do it (within reason I suppose....if you enjoy killing people, for example, then please consider other options).

[mcb]

[ QUOTE ]
I've always been living for the future.

[/ QUOTE ]

simple solution -- live for the moment

[Toms]

Bob I have a lot of respect for your posts and your poker game. But dustin hoffman and the graduate? this kid is only 22 or so he's probably scratching his head, and since I am about twenty years older than you and this movie is from my generation I think you have too much free time if you are going this deep on the movie shelf. Play more post more and cut back on the movies