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#1
01-18-2005, 12:55 PM
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I am the crew
I recently negotiated a deal with Mr. Dutch Boyd to transfer rights over to "the crew." At 8pm last evening an agreement was written up between Mr. Boyd and I, stating that I will receive full intellect trademark propery of said "the crew" in exchange for full bankrolling of his entry into the 2005 WSOP event. I will be receiving 5% of any winnings Mr. Boyd receives during said event, and in exchange Mr. Boyd will be wearing a t-shirt that will advertise the exhistence of www.thecrew.com, a website that I will be launching March 1st, 2005.
As of current date, I am the only member of "the crew." I am taking applications for anyone interested in joining. There is a required fee for membership processing, which is $2040, or (1/5 the amount of the bankrolling fees "the crew" will be issuing Mr. Boyd.) There will be 5 members of "the crew" including myself. Each member will receive 1% of Mr. Boyd's WSOP earnings. We will exchange poker secrets in person once a week, and during said time will experiment with bondage equipment while fully unclothed. Condoms are not mandatory, but encouraged. Those interested in partaking in the continuance of poker world domination, please correspond. Personal checks not accepted for required membership processing fee. Applicants exceding 18% body fat will be denied. Blue eyed candidates are exempt from this policy. -Michael "Jank" DeMichelle 
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#2
01-18-2005, 02:54 PM
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Re: I am the crew
This sounds like a great opportunity. I would be happy to invest, but sadly my money is currently tied up in a Nigerian currency exchange.
Would it be possible to instead buy in with property or goods? I have both a bridge of considerable value in New York and a bag of beans that hold promise.
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#3
01-18-2005, 02:55 PM
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Re: I am the crew
The Crew = the new Menudo?
Once they reach a certain age, they get thrown to the wayside for a younger, better looking Crew member? Well in any case, I, sir, would be very interested in joining said "Crew." About me: I'll start by saying that I really love myself. In my spare time, I enjoy writing self-congratulating ego strokers disguised as articles on poker theory. I have some really neat orange-tinted sunglasses. I enjoy speaking to professional poker players like they're my best friends, even though they're often disgusted by my audacity to even act like I know them, let alone converse with them on a regular basis. Hmm... what else? Oh, I yell really loudly when I win coin flips. It's really cool and original, sort of like my trademark. Now who do I make that check out to?
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#4
01-18-2005, 03:01 PM
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Re: I am the crew
Jealous ?
P.S. Nice avatar
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#5
01-18-2005, 03:21 PM
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Re: I am the crew - OK SIGN ME UP
Count me in - I have my membership fee ready to transfer.
But first, let me tell you about myself. I am out of Philadelphia now, where I am a full time defined benefits analyst. What most people don't know is that I was originally born in a small farming community on the outskirts of Chicago, Illinois. I was raised there and spent much of my youth playing baseball in the corn fields with his friends. When I was a freshman in high school, I managed to make the JV baseball team, and was one of the best pitchers. After many successful games, the head coach took notice and bumped me up to Varsity. Sadly, in my first game on the Varsity team, I was hit in the shoulder with the ball and was sent to the hospital. My shoulder was badly damaged and the doctors needed to operate. They spent hours working on my shoulder and finally finished, claiming the surgery was a success. However, there was one slight problem. For some reason, the procedure left several tendons in my arm extremely taught, and it had some strange side effects. One day while I was at a Cubs game with some friends, I caught a foul ball in the bleachers. Rather than hold on to it, tradition states that if it's a ball from the opposing team, you should throw it back. It was at this time that I noticed the strange condition of my arm that allowed me to throw the ball with incredible strength. This new found ability was noticed by the Cubs manager, and I was quickly signed up, making me the youngest pitcher in league history. My incredible arm carried the then last place Cubs all the way to first, and I got to play in the World Series. But a problem arose in game 7 of the series versus the Yankees. With the lead at stake in the last inning, I was one out away from winning the series for the team. It was at this time though that my arm let out on me and he could no longer throw the heat. I managed to get the first two strikes through some hijinks and wacky trickery, but the third one would prove to be most difficult. I was lost and didn't know what to do, until suddenly he got some help from the stands. My mother was watching me, and with a smile, told me to float it. I took her advice and floated the ball across the plate, getting the third strike, and making the Cubs the Worlds Series Champions. After that season, no longer being able to throw hard, I gave up professional baseball and pursued poker. The rest as they say, is history. Most of my life may appear to resemble the plot from the hit movie "Rookie of the Year", but you would be mistaken. - "Nageux"
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#6
01-18-2005, 04:02 PM
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Re: I am the crew - OK SIGN ME UP
I can vouch for this story. I was one of his friends from that small town. We used to hang out together... until he was picke up by the Cubs. Then he got all high and mighty. He started doing tons of interviews and photo shoots, and he forgot about his real friends. It was a real bummer. I really missed him. But then his arm went back to normal, and he learned some kind of lesson in morality. He realized what's really important again, and he came back and asked for my forgiveness. It really was noble. Well of course, I told him to go [censored] himself. The rest, as they say, is history.
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