List of Replies to Table Coaches...

[Dale]

If they're berating while losing:

"Thank you for your valuable contributions."

[frank_iii]

[ QUOTE ]
I also like the idea that someone suggested of typing a single letter over and over to move the offending chat off the screen.

[/ QUOTE ]

Wow, I'm glad this thread was bumped. Great idea.

Much better than my "I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT POKER" line.

[barongreenback]

Say something irrelevent but undeniably true.

For example, if AA has just been cracked by a backdoor flush and the table coach is complaining then say,

'A flush beats a pair'

or better,

'He won with the best hand'.

It may not shut him up but you'll have a good laugh watching his brain twist in agony as tries to find a way to argue with you.

[IsaacW]

[ QUOTE ]
For example, if AA has just been cracked by a backdoor flush and the table coach is complaining then say,

'A flush beats a pair'

or better,

'He won with the best hand'.

It may not shut him up but you'll have a good laugh watching his brain twist in agony as tries to find a way to argue with you.

[/ QUOTE ]

I read this one in some other thread here:

"Hey, we're not playing two-card stud here!"

I haven't had a chance to use it online, but have used it in a B&M a couple of times now.

[dlk9s]

A variation was used at the beginning of the thread, but I love the line (if someone I just beat is going off on me), "Shh....I'm counting your chips."

I had two people yelling at me (one much more than the other) last week for winning two hands in a row with actually good cards (KTs and QJo). Nobody gave me a reason to fold and I won the hands, with one guy trying to raise me on the river when I had the nuts.

Anyway, on the second of the two hands I caught the river to win, and the primary a-hole first just said, "Lucky." After about 20 seconds, he followed with, "I had a much better hand than that" (referring to my hand).

My reply was simply, "Apparently not."

That set him off for about 20 minutes. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Adde]

I bent your mother over a barrel is mine! Where did you get it?

These are not *mine*. I started a thread asking people for replies, and this list is a compilation of them all (but one; I fouled and missed MicroBobs reply by mistake, but that was corrected; once again, sorry Bob [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] ).

Adde

[KeysrSoze]

You're just jealous that I live in the greatest nation on earth.

DONATION!

[coffeecrazy1]

"Ahoy there, cap'n, why don't you let him steer his own boat?"

or,

This one drives them bonkers,
"Statistically, it was a good call."

I also find that any patently untrue statement of poker theory works wonders, including radically overestimating the outs the other guy had.

[PygmyHero]

Similar to what's already been posted in this thread:

"You have to have the best hand to win."

[beernutz]

This also works when playing small pocket pairs.

[ QUOTE ]
After top pair on the flop gets outdrawn by 97s on a runner-runner flush.

Loser: 97??

Me: Relax man, they were suited

[/ QUOTE ]