How do you deal with your mistakes? Thoughts on going bust.

[AceofSpades]

I've been on a major downswing lately. Mostly a combination of bad luck and playing too late or long, on tilt, or at stakes that I am not bankrolled for.

The difference between winning and going to bed happy, and being broke is not really that vast a gap. Just a few mistakes, a moment or too of tilt and bam, you've got nothing left.

I suppose everybody on here knows the absolute importance of not playing over their bankroll but I had to learn the hard way.

I'm a college student and I haven't worked for two years, I've been living off poker and some rental income which has dried up for the past 6 months. This downswing has been killing me, partly because I switched to solely tournament play when my bankroll was more robust and my leaks at late stages were killing me. And partly cause of tilt, and spending some of my bankroll.

Tonight was dumb, there was a higher stakes pl 7 card stud game running with some major fish. So I decided to play, and after running up a good amount, I stayed in the game, hit a long run of bad cards, and eventually blew it all in the very early morning.

The worst thing is that I know exactly what I should have done, but didn't do it. How do you deal with your mistakes after the fact? After I do totally stupid stuff like this, it's almost like I'm a shock victim. Stunned by the loss.

Maybe I don't have the temperment to be a poker player. I sometimes make decisions in the "moment" then afterward if asked about that situation I know I would recommend the opposite decision. But I guess this is after prolonged periods of playing/not enough sleep. Playing past 2am is a major leak that I had not corrected.

Right now I've busted out of party and prima, but I still have $90 bucks at stars that I've been playing the low limit stud tables with.

I have $300 in the bank, and a little bit of stock.

My parents are always asking "are you winning" and I know they would get upset (my Dad is one of those "are you ahead" why don't you quit now?" people) and Mom would be concerned because I think she worries sometime (because it's "gambling", if I tell her that I busted out, I think she would be upset... I usually tell them if I'm winning or if I am losing, but not how much.

I guess now I just have to start grinding away at the low limits, and slowly regain what I have lost. And do it right this time and not move up limits without proper bankroll. I am worried though that Dad will ask how much I have in the account. And $90 bucks isn't anything compared to 1k I won in a tournament a while back. Even though at the stakes I had been playing, it's not enough buyins to last out a losing streak.

Anyway thanks for reading if you've got this far. Writing this has helped me somewhat deal with the loss.

any comments would be welcomed.

Joseph

May the force be with you.

I may deal with mine rather simplistically but -

..if I make the mistakes then I make sure I remember them. Not listening to that little voice inside that often talks the most sense is the worst offender.

...If i get my money in on favourable situations then I console myself with that fact. Last night I played 3 games dominated by total donks. I couldnt catch, they caught almost every flop. I still was happy with my game - sometimes it just won't go your way regardless. I don't dwell on those times. I just smile and know that in the long run I AM a winning player but I can't beat the monkey bingo donks every night.

Of all the things I'm careful about it's bankroll management first and foremost. Just remind yourself of the work it took to get it where it is, then couple that thought with the one that says.."I know I shouldn't .. but sod it". If i do this once then I'm not playing until I'm calm again, normally the next evening.

Temperament I believe is another thing that needs to be learnt and improved to play well. As I stand I don't think I have the right temperament to play full time but it's just another part of my game to work on.

Best of luck turning that downswing round.

[b]<font color="blue">BingoChimp [b]</font>

[ QUOTE ]


This downswing has been killing me, partly because I switched to solely tournament play when my bankroll was more robust and my leaks at late stages were killing me.


After I do totally stupid stuff like this, it's almost like I'm a shock victim. Stunned by the loss.



Joseph

[/ QUOTE ]

Is a downswing actually "killing" you? No. If you say things like this about yourself that is how you make yourself feel. You will sabotage your progress if you continue saying things like this about yourself.

Getting a real shock by electricity is different than losing a few hands at poker. Everyone does stupid stuff sometimes. Relax please.

Here is what to do...

Get a job outside poker. You are in college so get something easy where you can frequently get in a couple of pages reading a good 2+2 book during work. Then when you come home and play you will be psyched up and ready to play some cards and it will be fun again [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm a college student and I haven't worked for two years, I've been living off poker and some rental income which has dried up for the past 6 months. This downswing has been killing me, partly because I switched to solely tournament play when my bankroll was more robust and my leaks at late stages were killing me. And partly cause of tilt, and spending some of my bankroll.

[/ QUOTE ]

Bankroll management is crucial. My roommate taught me this trick and it works for me. Open a Neteller and transfer three tournies in at a time. If you win a tourney, get that $33 or $66 out of there right away. Now you have the same bankroll on neteller and three tournies left on the site. There is another huge advantage to this, it really limits the damage caused by tilt. It's easy to just keep playing with the money on the site, it's quite another to go through the effort of re-loading, especially b/c poker won't be so fun at that particular moment.

Also, by quick cashout constant reload, while you want to be making money (obviously) you will also be accumulating bonus dollars faster because the money is moving around so much.

[octop]

Morphball thats not bankroll management
If you dont have the disipline to not tilt off your banroll you shouldnt be playing. If he has no control whats to stop him from putting more money into his poker account from neteller when hr tilts 3 tournies away.

[kyzerjose]

AOS,

Well, I suggest that you start with living in the real world rather than whatever world you're in right now. Got your attention? Good!

You will continue to have problems as long as you continue to delude yourself and those around you about what's happening. Why the charade about being a successful player?

You'll continue to have problems by abusing your body. Lack of sleep and a bad diet too I bet. Yep, you'll make really smart decisions in that condition.

All of the advice in the world about BR management is a load of crap unless you're willing to do the hard stuff. Figure out what makes you play.

After the 5th time of busting out, slow learner, I finally took a long hard look at what was making me tick. I identified the triggers that set me up to have a "bad run".

1. Boredom - If my head is not in the game I'm doomed. I no longer delude myself into thinking that I can play my C game and beat the field. I bring my A or don't play.
2. Fatigue - A real killer. The game's always there. Get some sleep.
3. Hunger - see fatigue
4. Emotionally out of balance.
5. Illness

Don't be so concerned about what others think. If you're "hiding" your loses you may have a gambling problem. Or not. Either way it's delusional thinking.

You're human right? You get to make mistakes. You get to keep making the same mistakes until you learn the lesson. I'm sure you've heard the old saw about a definition of insanity would include making the same poor decisions time after time and expecting a different result.

Your choice. Best of luck.

[jedi]

Post it notes.

If you do something stupid, and you KNOW it's stupid, write a positive affirmation to yourself and post it on the screen.

For example:
"The fish will be there tomorrow. Don't play tired."
"Did you just yell at the computer? You're on tilt. Stop playing."
"Hey [censored], don't cold call 3 bets with QTo"

The next time you're tempted to keep on playing, you might read the note and stop before you continue.