Should I Move? (long)

[LetYouDown]

I was born and raised in Western New York. Lived here until I was 20, then I moved to Florida (mostly to get away from an ex-girlfriend), but also because I needed a change. My parents moved there after I was done with high school and I moved down and stayed with them for a while. I was in love with a girl and things didn't work out, and nothing else in my life seemed to be going right. So, long story short I ended up in Florida for a couple of years. When I was there, I met my current girlfriend. She's the nicest person I've ever met (anyone who knows her feels that way well). She's very attractive, loyal, funny, honest, sweet...basically any good adjective you can use. I love her.

I eventually moved back to New York while we were still dating, mostly because I wasn't a big fan of Florida and once again felt like I needed a change. We stayed together through all of this and she moved up here after about 9 months apart. She got an apartment with a bunch of our mutual friends up here, but eventually that relationship turned sour and the girls she was rooming with stabbed her in the back. Without many other options, she moved in with me. She was living with me for about 2 months when her life became overwhelming. She started to get homesick, she missed her family, her job sucked, she felt like her life was going nowhere, etc. Typical mid-life crisis stuff at age 24. We also hadn't been getting along well because we saw each other constantly and I also had a tendency to be an [censored] more often than not.

We're still together, but she's in Florida now and neither of us knows if she's going to be moving back. She needs to get her head on straight and she needs to be with her family now. I don't want to lose her, but I'm not sure if moving back to Florida will be the best thing for me. She's definitely the most important person in my life, but I don't want to move to Florida and hate it for another 2 years and just waste more time. I came up with a top 7 pros/cons of moving/staying, they are as follows:

Pros for moving to Florida:

1.) Her
2.) A change, which I desperately need.
3.) No winter (this can't be underestimated)
4.) No state income tax/better job market
5.) Better night life
6.) Nice apartments
7.) Attractive women (at least something nice to look at)

Pros for staying:

1.) I would miss my family
2.) Family has a summer home nearby where I have a lot of friends that I would miss.
3.) My grandmother is getting on in years and health is deteriorating.
4.) School would be more expensive (I'd be out of state for a year)
5.) People are just "different", not as personable from what I've noticed.
6.) It doesn't feel like home
7.) I'd feel severely alienated from friends/family that are here if I move.

[RunDownHouse]

Considering that you moved to Florida because you "needed a change," then moved back to NY because you "needed a change," and are now contemplating moving again "for a change," maybe what you need to change is something other than physical location.

[LetYouDown]

I couldn't really agree more. Just had a conversation with another 2+2er over the phone and that was one of the conclusions I came to. I really have no direction in my life right now. She's the only thing I really care about.

[swede123]

Just based on your list of pros, I'd say go to Florida. Your reasons for staying #1,2,3,6,7 are essentially versions of the same reason. Unless being around your close friends/family is more important than anything else I'd say the reasons for leaving win out.

Swede

[Soul Daddy]

[ QUOTE ]
She's the only thing I really care about.

[/ QUOTE ]
I think you just answered your own question.

[jakethebake]

Where in FL were yopu before? Where would you be moving this time?

[RunDownHouse]

Did you have this conversation over GoogleTalk, by chance?

[LetYouDown]

I was in Sarasota, FL (just south of Tampa)...I'd be moving to the same area. Not exactly party central, but very nice area and only 1/2 hour out of Tampa...2 hours to Orlando...few hours to Miami.

Briefly discussed it via Google Talk, why do you ask? The conversation continued via phone.

[Derek in NYC]

My (now) wife and I did a long-distance relationship for a year. Then I moved to Houston to be with her. We got married 3 years later. Moving to Houston was the best decision I ever made, and its not close.

[LetYouDown]

Do/did you like Houston? Did the city affect how you feel about the decision afterward, or was being with her enough reason, regardless of whether you like(d) the town or not? I don't really like Florida very much, but I love her...and that might just be something I'm willing to live with.