B&M Story part 2: The YID

[private joker]

For those unfamiliar with this series, here’s a link to B&M Story part 1. Within five minutes of sitting down at the table tonight, I knew this session was going to yield part 2. I grabbed a pen and paper from a nearby porter and started taking notes. It went something like this…

Commerce. 9/18. If you’ve played it, you know it well. If you haven’t, you’ve probably heard of it. Quite possibly the juiciest, fishiest game in North America for its comparable limit. I prepared for a night of unpredictable suckouts, startling showdowns, and good times. And Visa.

I was in the 4 seat. In the 1 seat was our subject for this story, a young internet donk (we’ll call him YID for short, though the D can also stand for douchebag if you’re so inclined). It was clear he hadn’t played much casino poker, but probably had spent some time online, and certainly had watched a lot on ESPN and Travel Channel. He didn’t have shades on, but he did have the ball cap. About 24, probably 5’8, 140. Average white kid. I never found out his name, but he sure was a chatty Kathy. Wow. This kid never shut up the whole night, and he loved to talk himself some poker.

First off, the YID loved spouting stats and dropping the poker k-nowledge. In one hand where he rivered the straight, he informed his TPTK-holding opponent that “I had a flush draw on the flop too, to go along with my open-ended straight. I was over a 50% favorite there against you.” Apparently, he was also a master hand-reader. On a board of AQ8x with 2 clubs, an opponent out of position came betting into him. YID called with his 66, and the river checked through. Opponent showed a busted draw, and YID raked in the chips. “The only reason I called there,” YID deduced, “was because you looked at your hand. Once you looked, I thought to myself you’re on a flush draw I hope.”

Of course, this poker knowledge of his had some strange holes. YID couldn’t tell the difference between the words “raise” and “reraise.” He would use them interchangably. Once when he opened preflop with KQ, and flopped Qxx, and his lone opponent check-folded the flop, he turned up his hand and said, “If I knew it was this easy, I’d reraise every time!” He was a big fan of turning up his hand, or showing at least one card. If he didn’t show, he’d tell all of us what he held.

Unfortunately, he did get busted once by the non-retarded players at the table. He had raised PF and got several cold-calls. The flop came Kxx monotone in spades. He check-folded. A nice, quiet Asian man in seat 3 took down the pot with KT of hearts on the turn uncontested. YID said “Yeah, that flop sucked. I had pocket tens, no spade.” The TAGgish woman in seat 2 said, “Really? I had one of your outs, I had JT of diamonds.” Seat 3 then realized YID was full of sh[/i]it. “You didn’t have pocket tens.” See, both red tens were accounted for, so YID couldn’t have had TT with no spade. YID stammered and goes, “Oh, uh, maybe I did have a spade.”

YID wasn’t a fan of the nice Asian gentleman in seat 3. There was another hand that came monotone spades on the flop, and the turn and river were also spades. Seat 3 took the pot on showdown with the K of spades, and YID mucked, uttering the charming phrase, “Oh, you f[/i]ucker.”

When he was in the BB and it was folded around to the SB, SB asked him to chop. YID rolled his eyes, sighed, and tossed his cards in the muck to take the chop. “I had an awesome hand, too. Just so you know, man.”

When an old rock in seat 6 donkbet him on the river when an A showed up, YID went into the tank forever. (This was a 4BB pot). YID folded, saying “I had a pair, but you sucked out on me.” Old man takes the chips and shows YID a busted flush draw. YID curses and says, “I got outplayed! That so rarely happens!” He’s being serious.

Some other choice quotes from YID:

* When he open-mucks Q-high on a dangerous board, he tells the winner, “I’ll let you take this one.”

* After his 4th consecutive preflop raise: “I’m an aggressive guy! I’ll even show you what I have… sometimes.”

* After ordering a diet Mountain Dew (which they don’t have) from the service guy, he explains to seat 2: “It’s because I had a six pack 4 years ago, hahaha” and rubs his belly to prove it.

* He asked me once, "Hey dude -- are you in the Air Force?" Um, no. No I'm not in the Air Force. "Oh, because you look like you could be. I'm in the Air Force. That's why I asked." Ah, I see. Yeah. That makes sense...

YID wasn’t lying when he said he was aggressive. His stats would probably have been something like 35/30/6. Whenever he came into a pot, he almost always raised. I think he limped once or twice, and showed down those hands – A7o was one of them. When seat 2 caught on and started 3-betting him, he said, “Boy, you love to isolate me, don’t you? I guess you figured it out! I like to raise!”

He played quite badly post-flop. Not that that’s a surprise. But as an example: he flops a flush draw from out of position, and has a PFR on his *direct left* with several opponents after him. He bets his draw right into the PFR! Sure to blow away the field and lose his customers. Of course, he bet again on the turn when an A fell, and this got him a raise, so he had to pay 2BBs to miss his draw.

On a hand where he had AJ, seat 2 had QJ, and seat 6 had AK, the flop came QJx. YID led the betting right into his opponent’s 2 pair, not knowing he was basically drawing dead. When the river brought a T, giving seat 6 Broadway, YID tells him, “Oh, nice river there. Nice river.”

Even when he wasn’t in the hand, he was chatting it up. He’d tell the dealer “Oooh, chop chop!” When someone’s kicker actually played. He did acknowledge his misreading the board: “My bad. My bad. Sorry.” Hey, douchebag. How about you shut up instead?

Of course, who am I to tell YID anything. After all, he was a World Series player. After telling the table he was a “semi-pro,” he bragged about having played the WSOP. But he didn’t say “World Series of Poker.” He actually said the letters: “Yeah, I played the Double-u Ess Oh Pee this year, just two events. But I finished 14th in one, you know, I took eight grand.” Seat 2 was impressed. But YID admitted, “Yeah, it would have been great except I got drunk and blew it all on blackjack. Now I’m getting taxed on money I don’t even have.” Too bad, kid. That’s a shame.

But not to worry. He’s a winning player. After all, he did tell all of us that he doesn’t lose at the Commerce 9/18. “I’m not worried – I’m 4-0 here.” Oooh, four winning sessions. I bowed down. He then boasted about why he was playing: “Right now I’m trying to get my Plasma screen TV. I’m a third of the way there. Don’t worry. I’m 4-0 here.”

So where do I come into the story? Unfortunately I was card dead for most of his time at the table. Very frustrating. I ended my own session up 10BBs in 4 hours, pretty standard, but most of it came after he left. I did get to play a few hands against him, though. So here they are.

One of the best hands I saw all night was 44. I limped in EP, and there was a raise in MP. YID 3-bet on the button. The board came all low cards and I let him keep betting his A-high into me and I took the pot. Another time I flopped a K-high flush draw and called his flop and turn bets. The river bricked, he bet, and I folded. He sarcastically scoffed, “Good laydown – I just had ace-high!” And he showed his bluff. I barely had the heart to tell him I had only King high.

But here’s the fun hand. Boy was this fun. He opens in the CO, as usual. Folded to me in the BB and I make it 3-bets with J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. Just for kicks. He calls. Flop comes 7[img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] 4[img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 4[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]. I bet out.

YID immediately says, "I RERAISE!" Uh, I think you mean just raise, kiddo. But continue.

I call. Turn comes 8[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img], giving me a gutshot and a flush draw to go along with my overs. I check-call.

River is 9[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]. He bets out of turn. Dealer tells him I'm first. I say, "Check." He slams his chips down and glares at me. "I raise," I say, and put in 12 chips. Or do I mean reraise?

He had KK. Was steaming about that for a good long time. He berated me for the entire next orbit. "You had nothing. Nothing the whole hand. I had Kings the whole way."

"I knew it was coming," I say. "Jack-ten is my favorite hand," I say.

"Ok dude," replies YID. All those are chips are mine. I'm gonna reraise your blind every time I get the chance. Every single time, man. I swear.

He didn't. But it sure was threatening!

As I was laughing inside and taking my notes, he caught me looking in his direction (this was a few hands after the KK-JTs hand). "I'm not in the hand. Why are you looking at me?" asks the irate YID.

Well you know those military types. Super homophobic. Time to pretend I'm gay. "Oh, I just think you're cute."

"Yeah," he replies, "you look like *that type*."

Later on, he was caught staring at another guy across the table, and he told the man, "I think you're cute." The guy says, "Hey, relax kid." And the YID goes, "Oh I'm just kidding -- I'm stealing that guy's line" (pointing at me). Then he goes, "No, I have a girl... actually, no I don't have a girl."

Wonders never cease.

[Dariel86]

L O L

[Petteri]

Great story. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[NA_kicker]

Good post. It was nice to read hungover at work.

[Sponger15SB]

Good story.

[Aces McGee]

[ QUOTE ]
He sarcastically scoffed, “Good laydown – I just had ace-high!” And he showed his bluff. I barely had the heart to tell him I had only King high.


[/ QUOTE ]

I love when this happens -- when someone thinks they bluffed you out of a big pot and makes a big deal of letting everyone know about it, when in fact they had the best hand. Particularly if it's something like jack-high.

-McGee

[StevieG]

[ QUOTE ]
(we’ll call him YID for short, though the D can also stand for douchebag if you’re so inclined).

[/ QUOTE ]

I am so inclined. That J[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] T[img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] hand was freakin' fabulous.

Thanks for the writeup. It was especially detailed, I imagine thanks to your notes.

Do you often take notes at the table? Does anyone comment on it?

[Hellmouth]

I was just wondering about this also. I thought mostly people took notes away from the table so that they didnt arouse suspision.

greg

[rmarotti]

[ QUOTE ]
"No, I have a girl... actually, no I don't have a girl."


[/ QUOTE ]

Instant Classic.

[onegymrat]

Hi Joker,

Quite possibly the juiciest, fishiest game in North America for its comparable limit. Oh please, I can't wait until MORE good players come over! Gee, thanks, Joker!

In the 1 seat was our subject for this story, a young internet donk (we’ll call him YID for short, though the D can also stand for douchebag if you’re so inclined).
I will sharpen my stick at both ends for this kid.

He didn’t have shades on...Ah, man, now people will know what hands he's playing!

"You had nothing. Nothing the whole hand. I had Kings the whole way." You should be ashamed of yourself.

Next time, snap a photo of him and send it to my phone.