My poker (loser) experience

[jb9]

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I should have exhibited better judgement and stopped playing when I knew I was not playing my A-game.

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This sounds much much worse than just "not playing your A-game".

I think you should give serious thought to not playing poker until you have a greater understanding of what happened to you and some confidence that you won't do it again. Even then, you should adopt a strict and conservative bankroll management plan. If you can't do that, you will do yourself a big favor by not playing at all.

It's hard to give advice about family and religion, especially to strangers. There is rarely a good answer. But, it sounds like you need to talk to them about a few things. Try to find a way to do it that doesn't lead to a fight. Maybe get advice from someone else in the family (or friend of the family) who can see both your and your parents' point of view.

Good luck.

P.S. A book you may find interesting that I just re-read. It's about family and gambling. Double Down: Reflections on Gambling and Loss