I'm broken

[kurosh]

About a year ago, I had a series of traumatic events that made me completely break down. I used to be a very strong person character-wise. Not much bothered me and the things that did, I got through. But the bad things kept piling on each other until I couldn't take it anymore and I just gave up... ever since then it feels like I've lost something.

Now, when I have some stress, I can't handle it anymore. I give up and I try to run away from my problems. I don't know if anyone can help me with this. I figure it's worth a shot. At the least, I've written my thoughts down for myself. Has anyone had similar experiences?

I don't know if I can say I have had similar experiences - but I can recommend something that might help.

Pick up a copy of "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl. I think that is really a good place to start when you are contemplating putting your life back together. Its hard reading - its mostly about his time in a Concentration Camp - but the lessons are profound.

From a self-help perspective, Stephen Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" is a great book that gets you thinking about why you look at things the way you do and how you can change your whole life paradigm.

Both excellent reads - and the lessons I learned from both have really helped me in life.

[Rduke55]

It'll be OK. It's normal for a large amount of stress to sensitize you to future stress. The key is, really, just to get through it any way you can (well, not any way, nut you get the idea) and you'll eventually return to normal.
Just make sure you realize that this is a normal effect.

[A_C_Slater]

Walk backwards for a mile at like 3 A.M. when no one is outside.

I am serious.

Do it.

[tdarko]

kurosh,

just know that EVERYONE goes through periods in their life where it feels as if the walls are coming down on them. i too have gone through this, some of it brought upon myself and then some of it was just plain tough luck. now matter how bad it gets it will just get better, forget about the crap and realize that.

good luck and if all else fails take it out on the punks in the street trying to mess with your bro.

[mosquito]

[ QUOTE ]
About a year ago, I had a series of traumatic events that made me completely break down. I used to be a very strong person character-wise. Not much bothered me and the things that did, I got through. But the bad things kept piling on each other until I couldn't take it anymore and I just gave up... ever since then it feels like I've lost something.

Now, when I have some stress, I can't handle it anymore. I give up and I try to run away from my problems. I don't know if anyone can help me with this. I figure it's worth a shot. At the least, I've written my thoughts down for myself. Has anyone had similar experiences?

[/ QUOTE ]

Unless I'm sorely mistaken, you are not saying anywhere that it is the end of the world.

Therefore I will not console or comfort, per se.

On the other hand, some things are much more traumatic than other things. The death of someone you have a very close bond with. Loss of a job. Divorce or similar breakup. The list goes on, but there is a short list that falls in the "major" category.

Dealing with too many major events in a limited period of time can magnify the effects of other, smaller events by causing you to lose perspective.

Stay on the perspective.

The best cure is time, rest, relaxation. Ideally you could take a 'vacation' and come back with a new attitude.

Better would be maintaining the strength to not need the R+R, but that is asking a little much me thinks.

Rest, reflect, start anew.

Do the best you can.

[Lash]

[ QUOTE ]
Now, when I have some stress, I can't handle it anymore. I give up and I try to run away from my problems.

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks for posting. And you are not alone...

Earlier today I drank 2 bottles of wine and decided it would be a good idea to play poker. I went on-line and acted like a total ass, challenging random opponents to heads up matches and calling everyone at my table a "beotch". The worst part is that the only way I know this all happened is because I requested hand histories. I couldn't remember.

When I sobered up a few hours ago I was feeling totally devastated....depressed and selfish. My girlfriend won’t even talk to me. I felt like an ass just for wallowing in my own self-pity, but at the same time I liked it... go figure.

Anyway, just letting you know you are not alone. I can't figure out why I always try to find ways to escape reality. I guess I'm running away from problems... but my stubborn ass won't admit I have any... or can't find any problems.

I love my life, girlfriend, my family and myself. I am generally very happy and I feel successful. Yet at times I get lazy and just get f'd up for no apparent reason. What's the problem? I have no clue. Guess we are just human, and I probably need a shrink and/ or religion.

[jason_t]

I'm going through this right now too. I wish I had the answers. Hopefully someone else will. Thanks for posting this.

[SNOWBALL138]

This happened to me 18 months ago, which is to say that 30 months ago my life fell apart in huge ways. Its taking me forever to recover from it, and the process is not exactly linear, but it is possible to recover. Thats the most important thing you need to know.

Best wishes,
Snowball

[mslif]

I can definitely relate with your story. I had to deal with a divorce and everything that relates to a divorce, emotional distress, money problems... It felt like the world was coming down and I had no escape.
I recognize that I shy away from stressful situations a lot more now but I think it is only a natural reaction.
As previously stated by other posters, time is really the only thing that will help. Just know that you are not the only one, I have not found a solution for it either.