Favorite lines from Seinfeld

[ripdog]

From one of the "Kieth Hernandez" episodes:

"Thank you for the lovely evening, George. It's been a long time since I've had a Big Mac"

(line delivered by the hideously ugly daughter of the unemployment official that George is trying to schmooze into an extension of benefits)

[hoopsie44]

"You're and idiot."
Susan to George after he asks her who leads when she and her girlfriend dance.

[JaBlue]

the whole naked woman speach delivered by Kramer in The Contest episode

[Sponger15SB]

[ QUOTE ]
the whole naked woman speach delivered by Kramer in The Contest episode

[/ QUOTE ]

JERRY: (Nodding) Yes. Yes I am. (Kramer chuckles) Master of my domain. But I will tell you this: I am going over to(Gestures to the nudist) her apartment, and I'm tellin' her to put those shades down!

KRAMER: Woah, woah, woah. What-what did you just say?

JERRY: I can't take it anymore! She's driving me crazy! I can't sleep, I can't leave the house, and I' here, I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile, I'm dating a virgin, I'm in this contest - something's gotta give!

KRAMER: Do you hear what you're saying?! Can you hear it?! (Jerry puts on his coat) This is a beautiful woman walking around naked, and you want to tell her tostop?! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard! I mean, think comprehens- I'm not gonna let you do it.

JERRY: (Persistent) Well, I'm doin' it, get out of my way.

KRAMER: (Stopping him) No, no, no, no. You can't! You can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime! When we were boys, looking through our bedroom windows, we would think: "Why can't there be a woman out there, taking her clothes off?" And now that wish's come true, and you want to (Makes a

noise) throw it away?!

JERRY: Look, I'm sorry-

KRAMER: No, I'm not gonna let you do it, Jerry.

JERRY: Kramer, (Trying to pass him) get outta my way!

KRAMER: (Frantic) No, no, no. Don't do it. Don't do it! For my sake! God knows I don't ask you for much! (Pleading) Now, come on. Please, Jerry. Please! I'm beggin' ya! Please! (Claps hands) Come on! Please!

[Shajen]

Seinfeld sucks.

You double-dipped the chip.

[IsaacW]

[ QUOTE ]
Seinfeld sucks.

[/ QUOTE ]
Indeed. Clearly the best line was "Well, that was the last episode of Seinfeld. We totally suck and apologize for keeping this on the air beyond the pilot."

[miajag81]

From the episode where they get stranded at the party out on Long Island. Some annoying woman keeps talking to Elaine about her baby and Elaine finally turns around and goes "MAYBE THE DINGO ATE YOUR BABY" in this ridiculous Aussie accent. Kills me ever time I see it.

[PoBoy321]

Well you know who's responsible for astroturf, don't you? The jews.

[kerssens]

Jerry and George are out on separate dates.

George's date: do you wanna come up for some coffee?
George: No thanks, coffee keeps me up.

Jerry's date: why don't we go back to your place?
Jerry: well ok, but I don't have any cake if that's what you're looking for

[wayabvpar]

[ QUOTE ]
Cosmo Kramer: The bus is outta control. So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus.
Jerry: Wow.
George Costanza: You're Batman.
Cosmo Kramer: Yeah, yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, ya know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Cosmo Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
[staff meeting at J. Peterman; Anna, one of Elaine's employees, enters wearing George's Yankee jacket]
Elaine: Anna, whose jacket is that?
Anna: It's mine.
Elaine: Oh really? Because, it looks a bit big on you. It looks like something a short, stocky, slow-witted bald man would wear.

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