How to break off with old high school friends?

Right now I'm a 21 year old student who's a semester and a half away from graduating. I have a problem with a friend I had from high school. It's nothing like we had a dispute over anything in particular, it's just that I'm on a different stage than him now and I just don't feel connected to him. There are a few problems however...

I live like 3 houses down from him in Suburbia. It's very hard for me to say no to him when he wants to "hang out" Hanging out basically just means playing PS2 or whatever.

I've only known him about 7 years since I moved into the neighborhood when I was still in high school. I was never really close with him in high school but I was considered a loser so having him as a friend was just a good way for me to say to my parents and people I used to know that I was normal and was making friends. He was a video game nerd too.

So we both graduated HS and went to different colleges. Four years later I'm still in school and he dropped out after a few years. Now he's basically just working some minimal job and living out of his parents house. He doesn't even have a drivers liscense and he bikes into work.

I hang out with him frequently when I'm home from breaks at school. I hardly ever talk to him when i'm at school and if I do it's only on AIM. Whenever we hang out together to play videogames, it just feels so awkward. We don't tease eachother and make fun of eachother like people who are legitmate friends. We make smalltalk because silences would be awkward. We just talk about videogames or whatever, nothing beyond that scope.

It's an awkward situation to describe but I'm trying to do my best. I have a hard time saying no when he calls. He knows I have no job and am just watching Tv or playing poker but I don't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him. None of this would be a big problem if we lived far away but since his place is a short walk from my house, I feel obligated.

In closing, I just don't feel like I'm very good friends with the guy. We're on different paths and I feel like I need to break things off slowly before they get even more awkward. What should I do?

[Bikeboy]

Easy solution to this. When he calls or drops in unexpectedly tell him you're to busy with studying to hang out. Do this a few times and he'll get the idea.

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Whenever we hang out together to play videogames, it just feels so awkward. We don't tease eachother and make fun of eachother like people who are legitmate friends. We make smalltalk because silences would be awkward. We just talk about videogames or whatever, nothing beyond that scope.

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Well here's what I'd do, start teasing him more, like he's your friend. Also, talk about whatever's on your mind, be it your college classes, who you'd like to bone, what you think about God, whatever. If you aren't connecting, you will bore/annoy him enough to scare him away. Just keep rambling.

And if you are connecting, that's good right?

Whenever I'm at home, it's between semesters so I don't have any studying to do.

[Eaglesfan1]

Soo... What's your point?

[darydarling]

Start talking poker, and I don't mean exciting stuff. Fill the stories with nothing but your analysis of pot odds, implied odds etc.

For example:
I was UTG+1 and I raised with A/Q suited, it was then folded to Villain 3 off of the button he reraised. It was then folded back around to me I called and saw the flop.

There were 6.5 small bets in the pot.

The flop came J/10/4 with two hearts.

I checked, villain bet and there were now 7.5 small bets in the pot.

I had a gutshot straight draw, with a backdoor flush draw...(now here is where you really prattle on and on about outs, and odds etc. make sure you go into why you have to discount certain outs)

Do this until his his eyes start to glaze over...and if the hand was online even better. Start to throw in the villain's poker tracker stats.

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]
Well here's what I'd do, start teasing him more, like he's your friend. Also, talk about whatever's on your mind, be it your college classes, who you'd like to bone, what you think about God, whatever. If you aren't connecting, you will bore/annoy him enough to scare him away. Just keep rambling.


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This won't work. I had a couple of loser friends from high school that I'd outgrown after I'd gone to University and they never got the hint. The problem the OP's friend is that he has no basis of reference as to what constitutes a "real" friend, nor is he willing to abandon the friendship -- because the OP is the only friend he has.

The only way that I was able to ditch loser friends was to wait until the loser friend crossed me in some way and then escalating the situation (by getting really angry and refusing to listen to his apologies). Eventually the loser friend gives up on trying to salvage the friendship.

It's pretty immature, but it has worked for me.

I know that people become disconnected and seperate as friends, but it seems as if the only reason you don't like him is because you think he's a loser.

Would your opinion of him change if he moved out of his parents, was in/finished college, and had a better job?

Whenever I meet people like this, I have a tendency to try to help them out by motivating them to better themselves. I'm not saying that you should do this or anything, but you did spend quite some time with this person.

Maybe I'm too nice of a guy... And maybe this guy has a horrible personality. If that's the case, I usually don't bother. (They are drawing dead/thin anyway.)

[Python49]

The reason question is, would he still feel this way towards the friend if the friend somehow got extremely well with chicks, lots of friends, and a great social life. My guess is that he'd be the one calling to hang out and hearing the other end of a dial tone.

Tell him you're gay. Either he leaves you alone forever, or he starts taking MORE interest. If takes MORE interest, then say, "But I have a boyfriend."

Works like a charm.