Girlfriend says I have major gambling problem and need help.

[C LO]

You need a more understanding girlfriend. That is ridiculous, you made a great decision.

Now get you stuff in order, and get yourself a bankroll. Prove her wrong and remember there is no short term in poker. [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]

[Bluffoon]

Read this you will feel much better.

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...14&fpart=1

That could be you in ten years... whew!

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

[ QUOTE ]
This is something you want to do. You're able to do it in a healthy manner, but it's a real bad sign if you can't share that with your significant other

Guy gets secretive, because he expects girlfriend to overreact. Girl discovers guy was being secretive and overreacts.

Sounds like you two were not meant to be. Try to find someone you can be comfortably honest with.

[/ QUOTE ]

Damn it Bison, I'm the psychologist here. You are, of course, right. One of Milo's Laws goes something like, "If you need to hide what you are doing from your partner, you probably shouldn't be doing it."

In this case, it may point more to a problem with the relationship than with the poker. One major concern is that you reference not being able to afford to play poker. This suggests you are a -EV player. Another of Milo's Laws is "Never make a -EV bet." If you are losing money at poker, you need to figure out why, or quit.

[JasonK]

You could have just did an assumption on the loan to remove her name without refinancing the loan. That's how I got my wife off ours.

[bisonbison]

Damn it Bison, I'm the psychologist here.

Big balls,

Being a therapist is a lot like playing poker. The challenge is being entirely present in the current situation while keeping yourself emotionally and intellectually balanced for the long run. If you can do that, the work takes care of itself.

[Freakin]

[ QUOTE ]
I have 2 friends who have serious gambling problems with online poker. One has lost every cent he has and just sold his car to go to go play 6-12 at Canterbury. I think the poster is fine, and I'm not saying he has a problem. I'm just saying that it happens, and it's possible. She stepped across the line when she tried to overule a professional. There's no question about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

A professional who was the poster's ex-girlfriend, not exactly an impartial source. Whether she realized it or not, she was likely influenced by her prior relationship with the poster. I think his girlfriend asking him to seek the advice of *another* professional was fine, but saying "You definitely have a problem, here's places for you to find help" is over the line. And I think people saying that you can't be a gambling addict with online poker is about the most ignorant thing i've read on these forums. It's like saying that you can't be an alcoholic if you're only drinking beer, cause it doesn't get you drunk fast enough. Suspecting someone who hides the fact that he plays poker 20+ hours a week of having a gambling problem is certainly not unreasonable. The way she handled herself from that point was immature and did little to help the "problem" that she thought you had.

Despite what happened, I think it would have been more effective to seek advice from a professional in a clinic rather than an ex-girlfriend who is in the field.

Freakin

[joker122]

[ QUOTE ]
The next she comes back from work with a list of gambling clinics that I can pick anyone from and go see. In addition is a list of anger management clinics that I also need to pick out one and go see.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol i laughed so hard when i read this. you're girlfriend sounds hilarious.

[MicroBob]

Break-ups suck. but you're likely better off.
either you were going to do EXACTLY as your GF wanted in virtually all respects or this relationship was going to go down the tubes one way or another.

If your Dad was even able to detect that your GF was overly controlling that should say something.

We are only getting your side of the story so can't REALLY say for certain....but it sure sounds like she was over-reacting to something that she's been almost brain-washed to over-react to.


The fact that the payments went up so much is hopefully irrelevent to whether or not you broke-up.
The other option is to stay together BECAUSE you don't want to pay more on the house.....and that would just be silly.

Having to pay more sucks....but you are STILL better off.
You don't want to have to stay in a relationship just because you can live more cheaply....and you don't want to have to stay in a relationship with a controlling GF who thinks your attempts to play a positive EV game indicates that you are some sort of addict who desperately needs intervention.

[TStoneMBD]

you never specified how much money you were losing at poker. you may not be addicted but she may not be able to handle the money that you so carelessly lost. if you cant play poker cause you need the money to pay the bills then clearly you dont have excessive cash at your disposal. if i had a girlfriend or a wife that was a losing poker player and lost several hundred-several thousand a month i would either give her the boot or get her to quit. i am a professional poker player and while i understand that most poker players are losing players, i see no reason why a losing player should be playing... he should simply quit or get better using other methods until he is good enough to at least be break even. i was never a losing player when i first started, because i took the time reading books and never played against tougher competition. call me a sissy but poker is about money, and thats why i play it.

sorry if i was so harsh but sometimes i feel that it may be necessary.

[stinkypete]

[ QUOTE ]
Lol, a gambling problem with online poker is laughable. Mainly because I don't have one. Seriously though, don't degenerate gamblers usually favor slots or video poker? I would think real poker doesn't provide enough chances to "hit the big one".

[/ QUOTE ]

you can easily lose a lot of money playing online poker. it's definitely possible.

i used to have an online poker problem. i was losing money i din't want to lose. then i learned how to play (enough to win at small stakes, anyway). problem solved.