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#11
02-07-2003, 10:38 AM
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Re: What\'s the best one-liner you\'ve heard?
Of course, it would be "Look Good, Play Good". [img]/forums/images/icons/wink.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/smile.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/cool.gif[/img] Babe [img]/forums/images/icons/heart.gif[/img]
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#12
02-11-2003, 01:19 PM
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Re: What\'s the best one-liner you\'ve heard?
Atlantic city, 1-5 stud.
Older Asian woman to my right. She folded everything. I mean EVERYTHING. She was playing so tight it was almost unbelieveable. Likely waiting to play trips only. Who knows. To my left, a younger guy. Probably early 30s. A laid-back sorta guy. Telling jokes while giving his money away slowly. After about 2 hours, the Chinese lady only played as the forced bet. An older gentleman at the other end of the table said that they should kick her out of the game because it was like a short handed game ( 1 other seat was locked for a guy eating for the last 1/2 hour) and it wasn't fun anymore. He then called the floorperson and said, "Can I get a transfer?" He motioned her way and said, "There's no action here... Christ, I think she slipped into a coma!". As if that wasn't funny enough, the kid says... "Don't worry Pops, she'll come out when she gets hungry!".
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#15
02-11-2003, 05:59 PM
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roflmao! n/m
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#16
02-11-2003, 06:51 PM
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Re: What\'s the best one-liner you\'ve heard?
This is a rerun. It got me so good because of who it came from and how. She was 70-70, age and weight, playing $20-40 at the Harrah's tourny in Vegas a few years back. She didn't talk much. Folks were talking about Omaha, saying if they liked it or not, and why. She said, "I don't do cocaine, and I don't play Omaha."
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#17
02-11-2003, 09:48 PM
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Re: best non-poker one-liner and poker as well
playing in a tourney...A guy pushes all in....and someone who thinks he's a pro starts analyzing out loud. - sits and thinks for a minute and then I think he's fishing for a tell and he goes "Should I call you?"
response "I don't know...it's been so long since I pushed the damn chips in I can't remember my cards anymore." In the end the pro mucked and the old guy pretends to look, smiles, and turns up K's... "Oh good...I didn't bluff - couldn't remember" - BEST ONE-LINER period I read about in a Malachy Mccourt book. There was this guy who was the king of the one-liner quip. - Call him Liam or whatever... One night at Malachy's pub some guy Liam dislikes comes in with a beautiful woman. After a while this guy is whispering in her ear, and he offends her somehow (remember this is the '60 - he probably got vulgar) - and this classy charming woman grabs a beer bottle and cracks it upside this guy's head, breaking bottle and dropping the man to the floor. Liam sees this and without missing a beat goes "Bartender, put that drink on my tab" - [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]/forums/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] RB
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#18
02-11-2003, 10:21 PM
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I got one
Playing 4-8 in vegas against a typical group of decent players, rocks, and newcomers. One of the decent players gets raised by one of the rocks and calls to see his 2 aces. Decent player goes "I should have known...that guy plays tighter than fish pussy".
-D.J.
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#19
02-12-2003, 06:45 PM
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Re: What\'s the best one-liner you\'ve heard?
playing 10-20...at the Taj, a kid next to me flops a set and takes down a nice sized pot.....the man on my right(little old italian man) looks over to him and says....
"wow..you got allotta yardage outta that one."
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#20
02-12-2003, 06:50 PM
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Re: What\'s the best one-liner you\'ve heard?
here's another one......i made up myself......
the other night playing at a 3-6 home game...... this hand is announced as the last hand of the night...... usually people take their hands too far......and I knew this....so I limp in with J [img]/forums/images/icons/diamond.gif[/img] Q [img]/forums/images/icons/diamond.gif[/img] it's raised by a player to my left.....and 4 more cold call...it comes to me and I call... the flop comes 8 [img]/forums/images/icons/diamond.gif[/img] 9 [img]/forums/images/icons/diamond.gif[/img] J [img]/forums/images/icons/club.gif[/img] ... I check, player to my left doesn't disappoint me and bets I raise....blahh blahhh blahhh..... On the river...I miss everything.... He takes down an enormous pot with JKo I look at him and say.....after the hand is over, "Michael Michael Michael....if a Diamond or a Ten falls you are going to be sucking D*$K."
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