Funniest Family Guy Quotes/Scenes

[i wanna be me]

Everyone's got a favourite or two....

When Peter is watching that "relationship video" and Lois interrupts the video - once he sees the real Lois and starts making out with her he rewinds the tape over and over - "you should have told me....."

Classic!

[ArchAngel71857]

the one where peter uses the search function to bring up the 50 other times this has been done.

I think it's on Road to Rhode Island.

-AA

[istewart]

"Oh my god, are you Stephen King?"

"No, Dean Koontz."

[moondogg]

<---

[DemonDeac]

Peter: "Yea, I read about this once in a book"
Brian: "Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing"


Peter: "My Alphabets are talking to me. They're saying, 'oooooooooo'".
Brian: Peter, those are cheerios


Lois: That commerical is so disgusting. It was obviously made by men.
Peter: Of course a man made it, Lois. It's a commerical, not a delicious Thanksgiving meal.


hahahahah

[moondogg]

Oh no, Lois. A guy I know bought a car out of the paper once.

Ten years later, BAAM. Herpes.

[istewart]

The Dennis Miller intro, I forget which episode right now. It's a spot-on impersonation.

"I don't want to go on a rant, here, but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowulf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first battle of Antietam. I mean when a neo-conservative defenestrates it's like Raskolnikov filibuster deoxymonohydroxinate..."

[AngryCola]

Here are a couple.


"Lois: I care about the size of your penis as much as you care about the size of my breasts.


Peter: Oh my God! (runs off crying)"

-*-*-

"Olivia: You are the weakest link, goodbye. (laughter)


Stewie: Ha ha ha! Oh gosh that's funny! That's really funny! Do you write your own material? Do you? Because that is so fresh. You are the weakest link goodbye. You know, I've, I've never heard anyone make that joke before. Hmm. You're the first. I've never heard anyone reference, reference that outside the program before.

Because that's what she says on the show right? Isn't it? You are the weakest link goodbye. And, and yet you've taken that and used it out of context to insult me in this everyday situation.

God what a clever, smart girl you must be, to come up with a joke like that all by yourself. That's so fresh too. Any, any Titanic jokes you want to throw at me too as long as we're hitting these phenomena at the height of their popularity.

God you're so funny!"

[Huskiez]

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you -- very homosexually.

[cielo]

Peter signs some sort of loan w/ a shady guy, buys boat etc.

House gets taken away...

Brian: Peter didn't you read the fine print?

Peter: If by read the fine print you mean imagined a naked lady, yes.

classic example of the humor syllogism

if by x, you mean -x, then yes.

brilliant