On Holidays, Family, and Church

[RainDog]

Brief backround: I'm a 23 year old Agnostic (or close enough for the sake of this post) visiting family in California for the holidays. My family history is Catholic, but my mother has gone the route of generic Christianity (as has much of her side of the family). My step-father has recently joined the Christian crew around the age of 55 after his father passed away (who also "found God" late in life). They attend church weekly. I myself have not attended a proper church gathering other than for funeral reasons since I was around 10 years old.

Now for the questions; these are directed towards atheists and non-atheists alike but please state where you are coming from in your responses.

My mother and aunt gave some polite pleading for me to go along to church on Christmas eve. You know, the "it would mean a lot to me" kind of arguments. My step-father on the other hand asked in a subtle yet optimistic fashion, "You're going with us?". When I affirmed the negative he gave a polite but not completely guilt free, "Oh, not your thing huh?".

So I decided not to go along. Now I don't mind attending church for the purpose of quality time with the family in order to make my mother a little happier. But if the reason that it's important for her has anything to do with hopes of me becoming a good Christian, then I feel it would be misleading for me to do so. I also can't help but feel a little dishonest sitting in a church gathering. This doesn't mean I have never gone to a church in the past 15 years or so. I've visited plenty traveling around the world and have found an appreciation for the various faiths others hold. I also admire the beauty and aesthetic value of churches and their architecture (something I'm disappointed that the Protestant crowd has abandoned). Places of religion, even though I don't necessarily follow a particular faith, provide me with a tranquil atmosphere for thought and reflection.

I do have other non-religious family members that have abstained from these family religious outings.

To Atheists and the like: Should I feel guilty for not appeasing my parents and just going along? Would it be a contradiction to my values (or your values, since I can't really place you in my shoes)? Would it be fair to genuine believers to "play" religious when I really think it's all a farce?

To the religious crowd: If it were a son or daughter of yours, how would you feel about them not coming along? If it would bother you, please state your reasoning. Is it because you have hopes of conversion, or would you just like them to be there with you during the special case of the Holidays?

Thanks and Happy Holidays to you all