What do you say to Hellmuth?

[arod15]

I only listen to people who have 10 bracelets and know what there doing.

[eurythmech]

You sir are a genius

[JerseyTom]

"Poker is so easy..."


Tom

[grass]

[ QUOTE ]
You're playing in the ME at a table with Hellmuth. He criticizes your play and calls you a donkey. What do you do/say?

[/ QUOTE ]


"12 pearl necklaces motherfuucker"

[Brad F.]

[ QUOTE ]

I think this is the winner.
I'd keep yappping at him over his head-phones.


My original instinct was to pull out my standard "I like tacos" line that I reserve for the idiot table-coaches on party poker. It still might be incpororated into my strategy somehow. Maybe even a combination of pretending like you have no clue who this guy is AND talking endlessly about tacos.


I think this whole nonsensical dialogue about Mexican food could be so confusing to Phil that it would have to be +EV.

"King-Jack?? Wow....how could you even play that?? I can't believe you would play like that but I guess that's what happens in the main-event with all these bad players??"

"I like tacos. Do you know what I mean?"

"Ummm...what?? I'm talking about how badly you played that hand and how a 9-bracelet winner like me just has to deal with really bad play like that."


"Yeah...I know....but geez...when they put too much sour-cream on my tacos I'm like 'How can you expect me to enjoy my taco with that much sour-cream?'. Know what I mean?"



[/ QUOTE ]

Very nh sir. A good laugh, I'd love to see it.

Brad

[72allin]

I wouldn't say anything but as he was berating me I would stack the pot I had just won separately from the rest of my chips and inform him that his chips are right there if he'd like to make a brilliant play to retrieve them.

Hopefully that would put him on tilt and entice him to make an overaggressive play to have them back. After all, it would be an injustice for me to have those chips.

[Lottery Larry]

"No, you're thinking of my cousin. I'm Mr Ed! And thank you for your chips"

[Zetack]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Then ask him if he's been playing poker very long.

If he, or anybody else, mentions that he's a wsop winner, pretend you think they're joking. No matter how insistent anybody gets, keep laughing and shaking your head

[/ QUOTE ]


I think this is the winner.
I'd keep yappping at him over his head-phones.


My original instinct was to pull out my standard "I like tacos" line that I reserve for the idiot table-coaches on party poker. It still might be incpororated into my strategy somehow. Maybe even a combination of pretending like you have no clue who this guy is AND talking endlessly about tacos.


I think this whole nonsensical dialogue about Mexican food could be so confusing to Phil that it would have to be +EV.

"King-Jack?? Wow....how could you even play that?? I can't believe you would play like that but I guess that's what happens in the main-event with all these bad players??"

"I like tacos. Do you know what I mean?"

"Ummm...what?? I'm talking about how badly you played that hand and how a 9-bracelet winner like me just has to deal with really bad play like that."


"Yeah...I know....but geez...when they put too much sour-cream on my tacos I'm like 'How can you expect me to enjoy my taco with that much sour-cream?'. Know what I mean?"

turn to guy next to Phil, "I really have thought about writing to them about this. Because it's just stupid for them to ruin my tacos in this way. There was this one place in Florida I went to that didn't do this..." (turn back to Phil)
"And they had GREAT taco-specials. It was 49-cent tacos on Wednesdays and they were REALLY good. The regular price was 74-cents a taco so you're saving 25-cents per taco. Now if I have 4 tacos each Wednesday then I'm saving $52 a year doing this. You might not think it's a lot....but if someone gave you a coupon that said that you save $52 on tacos you would be all like 'Wow. That's not even possible dude.' Seriously...you wouldn't even believe you could save that much on tacos. But if you just get the 4 tacos each Wednesday you really ARE saving that much on tacos. Has anyone tried the Del Taco restaurant out here in Vegas. I saw a sign for it and it looks good but we don't have thm back where I'm from....."



I would keep talking and talking at Phil about tacos until his head exploded.
Trust me on this one....I would be VERY good at doing this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think this would be even more fun than pretending not to know who he is.

I also like putting my fingers in my ears:..."LA LA LA LA LA--I'm not li-istening--LA LA LA LA LA LA LA"


Or maybe as he berates you, stand up, walk very slowly over to where he is...and give him one chip back. Turn around, walk back to your seat, never say a word.


--Zetack

[Easy E]

That depends- what's the penalty in force?

[SpeakEasy]

"If I give you this black chip, will you promise to shut up for fifteen minutes?"