How I Became a Christian (LONG)

[Jeff V]

How I Became a Christian


I’m not trying to convert anyone but this is how I came to belief. If it makes someone think about God a little different- all the better. I do have some questions at the end also.

I was raised catholic, never really took it too seriously (neither did my mom) so religion/church was something to think about on Sunday for 45 minutes and that was pretty much it. I started having a problem with authority figures when I was young, and when I turned 18ish God became one of those figures. I felt emptiness, alone, and like life really had no meaning. I had all the normal questions but no-one could give me any decent answers including church. I declared myself an atheist around 22. This was not an easy time for me feeling like I was shammed, tricked etc all these years. I made fun of god, scoffed at believers thought they were naïve etc etc.

The rid of religious guilt was like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. This also made living for me, worrying about myself, and doing what felt good to me so easy. I also began to research my stance in order justify my non-belief, and got pretty good at it. I was married to a good catholic girl at this time. Needless to say she wasn’t too happy with me right then-we eventually divorced.

During the next few years I started to think that here had to be more to life but still was positive it wasn’t a “god”. I looked at some new age stuff, some of which I really liked but that’s another story. None of it really ever took, but I did decided I was being kind of arrogant so I became agnostic. I thought there’s something bigger out there just not some big bearded guy watching, and judging everything I do.

On the positive side in ’98 when I was 26 I walked by the poker room at my local riverboat and just got smoked playing 1-5 stud! I had no concept of poker, but definitely loved the game right away. I got decent at 1-5 , and even moved up to 2-10-ooooohh I thought that was huge, and the people were so much better. I also thought hold’em was really stupid with it’s community cards, and what is flopping? Now it’s 2000, and poker was an awesome outlet for me, I began to take it seriously, bought some books – when I could find them and was doing ok. Also in 2000 I made my first trip to Vegas, a friend talked me into playing some 4-8 hold’em and after an 18 hour session that was the game for me.

Also at this time I discovered string theory which just fascinated me. I mean a complex theory that unified everything, I got really into it, and thought I should take some more physics classes etc. but that didn’t happen.




To keep things somewhat brief- In 2001 I discovered cocaine-ho man Katy bar the door look out etc etc. It got bad for a year. In 2002 I quit coke packed my stuff and moved to Vegas to play poker for a living, taking my best friend with me. I played mostly 8-16& some 15-30 for the majority all my income for 22 months, I loved it but couldn’t build my bankroll. At this time my mom called me told me that my step dad’s business in Wisconsin was getting a huge contract burying underground utilities and I could make 15-20 grand in 3 months. Perfect. This was March 2004.

Wisconsin was sure different than Vegas, (boring!) but I met Marie. She was a marketing analyst at the same company my mom worked at. We started talking, and since she had lived in Wi her whole life I asked if she knew where I could get some coke, and that I was bored out of my mind.. This was on our first date, and I find out she liked coke but had been clean for a while similar to my situation. Having each been through an addiction to coke before we set down some ground rules to keep things straight. In May the company lost the contract -I had made only 8k in those first 2 months. However my thing with Marie and coke was going strong. 4th of July weekend I was back in Vegas visiting, and decided to fly Marie out. She came, we partied a lot I decided to move to Wi to be with her.

By October 2004 things were getting bad- no pretty terrible. We were recluses, I had not been working or playing much cards, and was going broke just typical addicts-cokeheads. I said we needed to quit. So on November 1st, 2004 I quit coke again so did Marie, or so I thought. She relapsed twice, and on 12-26-05 used a bunch of coke, cut her wrists, took around 40 pain killers, and laid in the tub to die- we had been engaged for 3 weeks.

Earlier that day I had left the house telling her and my mom I was moving back to Vegas. This had been way too much for me to deal with. My mom made the comment that “if you can’t be there when Marie needs you the most, why would she need you at all?” I took this to heart and decided to go check on her. She arrived at the hospital barely alive and was rushed to intensive care where she was stabilized over the next day, and eventually sent to the psychiatric wing. My mom who had been “saved” for 15 or so years said she was praying for Marie, and had me drop off a copy of “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. Marie told me she had accepted Christ and felt like she was really delivered from drugs this time. At this point I figured whatever she needed to think didn’t matter as long as it helped her. Her grandparents told us about an addicts recovery group at their church that met on Tuesday nights.

I thought oh man; I don’t want to go to a church! I hadn’t been to a church really in 15 years. I figured whatever it takes to help Marie since I was sure I could kick it on my own.





I remember walking into the room, and when the door opened they were singing, and I felt what to me was no less than God putting His arm around me saying “don’t worry everything’s going to be ok.” I looked at Marie we were both crying. A few days later I accepted Christ as my savior. When these things happened to Marie, and I the Holy Spirit came into our lives and changed us. I know how crazy it sounds… I truly became a new person. We wnet back to vegas and got married 2-12-05, and are expecting our first child 2-17-06.

I’m aware that science can’t prove any of this. Should that discount everything though? Is it just because perception is reality? Did I just have a Jerry McGuire moment? Am I the type of person who needs to believe in something bigger than himself to deal with past issues? Is God a crutch for me to deal with my problems that are just around for the moment? Is it just my addictive personality? I would answer all of the above no, but that is why this is a discussion board.

Jeff

[w_alloy]

[ QUOTE ]
Am I the type of person who needs to believe in something bigger than himself to deal with past issues? Is God a crutch for me to deal with my problems that are just around for the moment? Is it just my addictive personality?

[/ QUOTE ]

One of these, something else along these lines, or a combination of said options are almost certainly true.

That being said, I am honestly happy for you, I advise not spend much time on this forum, and good luck to you with your new found happiness.

[Taraz]

I hope I don't come off as disrespectful at all because I am genuinely curious about people who "find God" or are born-again or whatever.

So Marie attempted suicide and failed and then you guys went to a rehab church group. Upon entering the church you both felt relieved and at peace. Is all this right? I don't doubt any of this and I believe that religion can be an important part of everyone's life, but I don't understand how this comfort has convinced you to accept Christ as your savior.

How does any of this make you feel any more confident that Christ died for your sins? How has it convinced you that he is the only way to God? I don't really care if science can prove any of this because science can never prove or disprove the existence of God. But I am just curious, did it just "feel right" to you? Why does this make you believe in the Bible? I don't get the connection between feeling saved/at peace/relieved/etc and accepting the bible as absolute truth.

[sexdrugsmoney]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">En respuesta a:</font><hr />
I advise not spend much time on this forum

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What is the logic behind this advice?

[handsome]

Great story/testimony. You didn't really go into depth with Marie's transition -- I'm assuming the book convicted her?

[Jeff V]

Yes, the book got her on her knees.

That's great that it helped your life. There is a glaring void in your story though -- your faith seems 100% wholly derived from your warm fuzzy provided by the church and 0% derived from rational analysis of its doctrine. For this reason, I think your arguments in this forum are quite lacking.

[Jeff V]

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But I am just curious, did it just "feel right" to you?

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I suppose that's the best way to describe it.

You also raise some good other questions in your last paragraph. I could write a post probably 3 times as long desicribing the almost 10 months sice then. Just say I've been fortunate enough to get plenty of affirmations during that time though.

[Jeff V]

[ QUOTE ]
your faith seems 100% wholly derived from your warm fuzzy provided by the church and 0% derived from rational analysis of its doctrine

[/ QUOTE ]

True that my faith was derived from what happened at that church-yes. I did not want to make my post Sunday school either. As I've stated before, faith brought me to belief, but study of the Bible, and research on creationism has strengthened it far more than I expected.

BTW- even if yor stement was correct how would that take away from what i feel are very well thought about points about God, creation, or ID?

I think it would be fair to suggest that any cult with a good salesmen could have converted you at that point.

I am not denying the benefits, they are likely to be social effects along with a tool to re-program your perception of your history, current situation and your out-look.

I think that the atheists/agnostics here would just point out that continuing this idea of a real magical overlord is unneccessary (it may have more value if taught as a fable: at least then people couldn't 'rationally' declare war over land promised to them by the magical overlord)