I just tilted away half my bankroll in 5 minutes, laugh at me

[RiverTheNuts]

Someone commit me. I thought I was above it. I thought I had conquered it. It had been 2 or 3 months since one of these episodes.

I drop 25 bets at 2/4 after a few beats. "Oh [censored]", I say to myself, "I need to make that money back, thats enough money to eat for 2 weeks" Here, lets go to a 400 NL table and stack someone. QQ runs into KK and BAM... "Oh [censored] oh [censored], I need that money... lets take a grand and double it back up playing BJ" Double down on 11, get a 2 dealer flips 11 and BAM, im done, down about 1500 for a winrate of around -$18000/hr

I played for over a month for that much money and its gone in 5 minutes, because I cant control myself. I wont let myself lose without going completely [censored] bust. Im not sure if its a disease, or if Im just effing retarded, probably the latter.

The whole reason I havent gambooled my whole roll away is that half of it is processing in neteller right now

In any case, Im done with gambling for a while, I cant handle it... reading this post makes me sound pathetic, which I am for not having any self discipline.