Last day of your life

[Jarekb]

If you knew today was the last day of your life, what would you do. Would you call up an old love, make peace with an enemy, rob a bank, go to Vegas and bet it all on 13, or simply not go to work and go fishing? Really think about it, what would you do on the last day of your life. Now ask yourself what’s holding you back from doing that? What’s holding you back from doing something that you want, that would make your life complete or rather put you at peace knowing you did ok.

I got in this train of thought this evening asked myself what do I want with life, since right now I don’t really know. So I asked, if tomorrow was that last day for me, what would I do? At first I kept saying to myself I don’t know, it’s only one day it wouldn’t make a difference, if I did something life changing well it wouldn’t do much since that was it, I just had that one day. After a while of running this and that through my head I remember an idea or call it a fantasy (but why should it be). One day just leave everything behind at my house, cash out all the money I have, bring some cloths and hit the road. Leave everything and start a new life, go out west and see the desert, drive through half the country. Go into it blind and not have a cushion, where you don’t know what you’ll get, can’t call back and ask someone to bail you out, make something happen yourself. Just get up and go and see what happens, where the world will take you. As in The Hobbit, go out on an adventure.

Then I asked myself, what’s holding me back. Why would I wait till I know it is my last day to do something like this. Even if it’s not the last one, even if this isn’t the one thing that would put me at peace or make me happy, what’s holding me back from trying? I’m not actively going to school right now, took a year off. Don’t know if I should go back, or find a job, or join the circus. My seasonal job just ended recently so I’m not tied to anything. The friendships I have are not that close anymore, the one’s that were…well those have been screwed up, hopefully temporally. Family, well they would want me to do something to get my life in order. So again I ask what’s holding me back from waking up tomorrow morning loading up a small suitcase, getting my cash out, and leave to take that risk and see what happens. And I don’t know, don’t have the balls for it or consider it just a pipe dream (referred to it as a fantasy did I not), don’t have anything to loose by trying, yet I won’t.

So what about you guys? If you knew that tomorrow when you wake up it would be the last day you’d see the sun rise, what would you do that day and what’s holding you back from doing it?