My trip to the "upscale" barber

[Homer]

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i also stupidly gave a $3 tip on a $28 haircut. how bad should i feel about this? btw, the girl was decent but kinda seemed in a rush and wasn't the most friendly. it probably shoulda been at least $4 though?

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You are scum. I used to be a bartender, so I know more about tipping than you. You should always tip a stylist at least 50% and more if they actually do a good job and don't rush. Anyone who tips less than this is a prick and deserves to die. Again, don't question this because I used to work in the service industry and know my [censored].