the psychology of losing

[vkotlyar]

Hello all. I have been playing cards for a living for a few years now. I am a consistent winner and do very well for myself. Many people consider me to be the best player around, and i have been making peoples lives a living hell on the poker table. However, i have a weakness which i cannot seem to overcome. I have losing. Now let me explain. Its not that i hate losing money, because i know that in the long run, these people are paying my rent. I can never have a losing year for as long as i play. Losing is a natural part of the game, and every1 experiences it. However, it ruins my mood, it messes up my sleep, and it influences my interactions with my friends and family. After a losing session, my sleep is fragmented and i am irritable. I hate the world and really feel depressed. I feel this way a lot more when i multitable the party 10 games, and every time i have a losing session, i feel...almost sad. I dont think that its even worth playing if i am going to feel this way. My feelings arent as extreme when i lose in a live game, but i am still really bogged down about it. I can win 20 sessions in a row, and then take a 500 loss, and ill be devastated. How can i lose to these people? Does any1 else feel like this? Any ideas? thank
V

[Al Schoonmaker]

If losing makes you miserable, poker is the wrong game for you. You KNOW that it's part of the game. You know that EVERYBODY has losses and losing streaks. That knowledge has not kept you from over-reacting.

Life is too short to be miserable about something that you cannot possible avoid.

Regards,

Al

[tolbiny]

I agree with Al that if losign ruins your day then there is little reason to continue playing poker.
However, i would suggest something that has helped me from time to time, when my losing sessions get me down. Physical activity is a great way to claear your mind (and its healthy too). I have a heavy bag and a peedball in my basement, and a set of weights, and while i try to use them semi regularly, they are most helpfull when i am driving myself nuts over some girl/poker/whatever.

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
If losing makes you miserable, poker is the wrong game for you.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is true. You can not put a price on your happiness, your well being, your friends and family, and basically your life. I get frustrated with with bad days, but I can overcome that when going through my hands and seeing that I played well and learning from the hands that I didn't.

If you have the will power to last through 5 years of misery; you have the will power to overcome this. Good luck to you.

Cheers,

deacsoft

[turnipmonster]

[ QUOTE ]
Many people consider me to be the best player around, and i have been making peoples lives a living hell on the poker table.

[/ QUOTE ]

I am sure everyone you play with is afterwards stunned by your greatness. be sure to warn people not to look directly at you, as the skill will inevitably be too much for them to bear. lol.

anyways, why do stuff that makes you upset? life is just too short.

--turnipmonster

[arabie]

I think you should try and ignore your emotions and concentrate on your rationality. You've already figured out the right logic, you win more than you lose, and the losers pay for you to win. This theory alone should be enough to keep you from feeling too upset. Just try not to let your emotions distort your rationaility. Re-read poker books, those always boost a players confidence. Everything in life is an up or down, if it wasn't, this would be heaven or, conversely, hell. Try keep your poker stats by you when you play as well. I suggest getting PT if you havn'et already. When you see your losing sessions relative to your winnings, the losses aren't as psychologically dramatic.

[revots33]

It's a cliche but the thing to keep in mind is that "It's all one big session".

If you win $10,000 over 9 sessions, and then lose $1,000 in one bad night, you're still up $9,000 but you feel like crap because you just took a big loss. However, if you play 10 sessions and win $900 every time you're still only +9,000 but now you're on top of the world. Which just doesn't make sense if you think of it as all one big session.

Sounds to me like an ego thing with you - you can't accept losing, because you think you are better than everyone else. Losing is a blow to your ego more than your bankroll. My advice? Lighten up.

[A_C_Slater]

"No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one third of the games, and no matter how bad you are, you're going to win one third of the games."-- Tommy Lasorda on Winning baseball

The same can be said of Poker.

[deacsoft]

[ QUOTE ]
"No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one third of the games, and no matter how bad you are, you're going to win one third of the games."-- Tommy Lasorda on Winning baseball

The same can be said of Poker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope your 1/3 win is big then, or at least you 2/3 losses are small. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[A_C_Slater]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
"No matter how good you are, you're going to lose one third of the games, and no matter how bad you are, you're going to win one third of the games."-- Tommy Lasorda on Winning baseball

The same can be said of Poker.

[/ QUOTE ]

I hope your 1/3 win is big then, or at least you 2/3 losses are small. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

You evil swine! I challenge you to a heads up duel!
Best of ten of course. I will win at least 7.