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#81
08-19-2005, 01:09 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Very well said. The head-shaker for me was the comment "This causes them to be bad friends to those in our social circle" lol, I knew it was a lost cause at that point and went to bed shortly after... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] Yep, the "my friends had a kid and now they never hang out with us" argument for not having kids is pretty lame. I don't play hide and seek with the kids I knew when I was 8 anymore either, I must be a shitty friend. All that said ... I hate the fact that I agree with a Giants fan! =) ~ThisHo [/ QUOTE ] You are a shitty friend because of this, even though you may not realize it. But its your choice and your priorities, you picked your kids in front of your friends, as most people do. I am 23, most of my friends are 25-28, they are all getting married and having kids, about 2 years ago, if one of them asked me for a favor, Id drop whatver I was doing and help them out. Now I would tell them to go fukc themselves. I dont speak to them anymore because they are all dumbass working stiffs, that were too broke to get married in the first place, so now they struggle for every dollar, and dont have time to go out. And if I do get a rare call, its usually to invite me to play boardgames, ya thats what I want to do on a friday night, play boardgames. From what Ive gleamed, its all about being pussywhipped and a change of priority to most people. Stupidity. [/ QUOTE ] You're a jackass. You're seriously begrudging your friends having kids? I can understand being a bit disappointed that they can't go out with you all the time now, but come on. 
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#82
08-19-2005, 01:11 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] From what Ive gleamed, its all about being pussywhipped and a change of priority to most people. Stupidity. [/ QUOTE ] You're a jackass. You're seriously begrudging your friends having kids? I can understand being a bit disappointed that they can't go out with you all the time now, but come on. [/ QUOTE ] I think he forgot to press enter a couple times before signing his name at the end...
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#83
08-19-2005, 01:11 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Very well said. The head-shaker for me was the comment "This causes them to be bad friends to those in our social circle" lol, I knew it was a lost cause at that point and went to bed shortly after... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] Yep, the "my friends had a kid and now they never hang out with us" argument for not having kids is pretty lame. I don't play hide and seek with the kids I knew when I was 8 anymore either, I must be a shitty friend. All that said ... I hate the fact that I agree with a Giants fan! =) ~ThisHo [/ QUOTE ] You are a shitty friend because of this, even though you may not realize it. But its your choice and your priorities, you picked your kids in front of your friends, as most people do. I am 23, most of my friends are 25-28, they are all getting married and having kids, about 2 years ago, if one of them asked me for a favor, Id drop whatver I was doing and help them out. Now I would tell them to go fukc themselves. I dont speak to them anymore because they are all dumbass working stiffs, that were too broke to get married in the first place, so now they struggle for every dollar, and dont have time to go out. And if I do get a rare call, its usually to invite me to play boardgames, ya thats what I want to do on a friday night, play boardgames. From what Ive gleamed, its all about being pussywhipped and a change of priority to most people. Stupidity. [/ QUOTE ] What the hell is wrong with you?
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#84
08-19-2005, 01:11 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Very well said. The head-shaker for me was the comment "This causes them to be bad friends to those in our social circle" lol, I knew it was a lost cause at that point and went to bed shortly after... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] Yep, the "my friends had a kid and now they never hang out with us" argument for not having kids is pretty lame. I don't play hide and seek with the kids I knew when I was 8 anymore either, I must be a shitty friend. All that said ... I hate the fact that I agree with a Giants fan! =) ~ThisHo [/ QUOTE ] You are a shitty friend because of this, even though you may not realize it. But its your choice and your priorities, you picked your kids in front of your friends, as most people do. I am 23, most of my friends are 25-28, they are all getting married and having kids, about 2 years ago, if one of them asked me for a favor, Id drop whatver I was doing and help them out. Now I would tell them to go fukc themselves. I dont speak to them anymore because they are all dumbass working stiffs, that were too broke to get married in the first place, so now they struggle for every dollar, and dont have time to go out. And if I do get a rare call, its usually to invite me to play boardgames, ya thats what I want to do on a friday night, play boardgames. From what Ive gleamed, its all about being pussywhipped and a change of priority to most people. Stupidity. [/ QUOTE ] You're a jackass. You're seriously begrudging your friends having kids? I can understand being a bit disappointed that they can't go out with you all the time now, but come on. [/ QUOTE ]
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#85
08-19-2005, 01:31 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
However, like another poster said, always making your kids feel like a burden is lame, which is what some parents do. They make you feel bad that they have to buy you clothes. [/ QUOTE ] I am as guilty of this as anybody. I am going to try harder not to be such a grouch with my kids as I can see from reading these posts that it does not go over well. It's funny but when you first have children (babies are cute!) you don't think that you will ever be a bad parent and you certainly can't imagine that you will think of your kids as a "burden". Flash forward 18 years and you can't believe how bad your attitude can get. You sometimes actually do feel like you are a shell of the person you once were. You get beaten down. (I'm not saying I felt like this when my kids were little.) Certainly it is not the kid's fault. Life takes many unexpected turns. I find I'm not as great as I thought I was which is a very hard pill to swallow. Reading these posts has been very enlightening. On a side note, I really have no animosity or problem with the posters who have been pretty critical of their friends with children. I can see the humor in it.
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#86
08-19-2005, 01:31 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
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also if you are wealthy but cant give time for your kids you shouldnt have them. if youre some big swinging dick ceo or lawyer who works too much having a kid is a bad idea, just like poor parents who cant provide financially. [/ QUOTE ] I think you can extend this to say that if you aren't willing to commit 100% to your kids,then you shouldn't have any. This doesn't mean you should spoil them or give in to their every whim. It does mean that you should do everything in your power to ensure that they, when they become adults, are well adjusted, socially responsible contributing members of society. It means that they should know, first hand, unconditional love as well as the consequences of their actions.
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#87
08-19-2005, 01:34 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] Very well said. The head-shaker for me was the comment "This causes them to be bad friends to those in our social circle" lol, I knew it was a lost cause at that point and went to bed shortly after... [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [/ QUOTE ] Yep, the "my friends had a kid and now they never hang out with us" argument for not having kids is pretty lame. I don't play hide and seek with the kids I knew when I was 8 anymore either, I must be a shitty friend. All that said ... I hate the fact that I agree with a Giants fan! =) ~ThisHo [/ QUOTE ] You are a shitty friend because of this, even though you may not realize it. But its your choice and your priorities, you picked your kids in front of your friends, as most people do. I am 23, most of my friends are 25-28, they are all getting married and having kids, about 2 years ago, if one of them asked me for a favor, Id drop whatver I was doing and help them out. Now I would tell them to go fukc themselves. I dont speak to them anymore because they are all dumbass working stiffs, that were too broke to get married in the first place, so now they struggle for every dollar, and dont have time to go out. And if I do get a rare call, its usually to invite me to play boardgames, ya thats what I want to do on a friday night, play boardgames. From what Ive gleamed, its all about being pussywhipped and a change of priority to most people. Stupidity. [/ QUOTE ] Please respond to this in 10 years when you have found the right woman and have a kid or two. I assure you that you will feel differently. I'm quite certain that I don't want you as a friend if your reason for being willing to assist a friend in need is based on how often you see them. A FRIEND helps another friend out simply because the friend needs help, not as a reward for good behavior. If parents don't put kids in front of friends on the priority list then the kids get [censored] no matter how much $$$ the parents have. What do you want to do on Friday night? Get shitfaced and chase tail in a club? Sorry, but being married means you no longer have to chase tail in the clubs and hope to get enough booz down its throat so you can take it home. Being married means that you finally caught THE tail and its now right there for you in the comforts of your own home and it costs a hell of a lot less to get it into bed. If playing board games with your friends isn't cool enough for you then go do your thing, but don't be a jackass because your friends have moved to a different stage of life. Like I said, I don't play hide & seek with the kids that used to live on my block anymore. Its part of life. Also, don't confuse "totally in love with my wife and family" with "pussywhipped." They are two totally different things, which you will eventually learn. I haven't abandoned my friends. I still see them and talk to them from time to time, but I don't go out with them every week and they are not the priority that they once were. If any of them called and needed a favor I'd be happy to drop what I was doing and help them out if I possible could, no matter how long its been since we talked. Not sure why I'm bothering, you're young and you won't hear what I'm saying. Just check back on this in a few years. ~ThisHo
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#88
08-19-2005, 01:41 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
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I find this thread very sad. [/ QUOTE ] thin man ccass maxpower AngryCola Daliman vulturesrow and a few others have their head on straight. The rest of you should stop posting about life until you've lived life.
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#89
08-19-2005, 01:42 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
I may have sounded harsh, but I really dont give a [censored]. I tottally understand putting your family in front of friends, I have no problem with that. But my particular friends, do not do anything, ever. They dont go out, ever, etc. And the only time I receive a call (I stopped calling them a long time ago), is when they need help with something, like sodding their lawn, or painting or something like that. I could tottally understand, if they called maybe once every month, just to see how [censored] is going etc, but they stopped that the second they got married. And these were really godd friends, that I rented a house with for 2 years etc. I just figured thats how everyone reacted when they got pusswhipped.
And you douche bags can call me a selfish jackass all you want, but Im not the one who decided to cut all ties to the outside world, because I have to focus on a relationship. I am not asking to go out and chase tail 5 nights a week, but hell, at least make 1 night a month to go out to a bar or a ball game etc. BTW, most of my friends dont have kids, they just got married.
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#90
08-19-2005, 01:44 PM
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Re: Having kids when you aren\'t wealthy....
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i have alot of respect for my parent and other people who raised kids on meager salaries. but i also think its insane. if you are rich, then you can have kids and still have freedom. you dont have to be a slave. your wife can pile a bunch of [censored] in a shopping cart and you dont have to think much about it. hell, i dont even know how anyone can have a wife without being rich when you consider how apt they are at burning money, and how many added expenses come along with a girl. [/ QUOTE ] One of the biggest factors in deciding to have children for me, was age. I wanted to be a young dad, and wanted to be the dad that doesn't drop his kids off at the beach or skatepark, but the dad that is dropping into the halfpipe along side my son! I am now 35, and took my sons to Costa Rica this summer to go surfing. We have a half pipe in our driveway, and I am taking my son to Green Day next month. I was broke when I had my first of 4 children, but the difference between you and me is that I had 100% confidence in my ability to provide a good life for my children. The number one factor that drove me to be successful in business, was my children. I make 500% more money than I would if I were not married with children. My wife and I have a balance between children, and our own lives. We are not slaves to our children. Your priorities change with children, yes, but they are not the only factor in your life. If I had waited until I had enough money to have children, I would still be waiting and making 35K per year in a xxxxxxx job. My advise to you is do not have kids.
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