Feelings of guilt re: family

[Pinga]

It sounds like you're playing for enjoyment and escape time.

Don't lose it all; play under your skill level if you need to. If you have to cash out $1000 to buy her a car, play some micro.

The 18 year old should need very little at this point other than a cash supply [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]. Is she in school full time or part time? Does she have a job?

You should make sure you spend as much time as you can with the 13 year old. This is an important time in their lives and you might be surprised what you end up with if you don't make an investment. She won't want anything to do with you in a couple of years, anyway. Enjoy it now. Do some homework, cook with her, whatever she likes to do. Keep her busy.

You don't need to spend a million dollars on her to be a good parent. It sounds like you are taking care of things financially. I don't see how you can feel guilty if you aren't depositing.

You need free time and poker is just as good a hobby as any other. You have to take of yourself or you wno't be able to take care of your family. Every member of the family needs time off.

Please step back and reflect for a moment. Be proud of yourself for being a good parent to these children. Be happy that you were able to do something decent in this world. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you.

Best,
Pinga

[Carl_William]

Reply to: Poster: darydarling
Subject: Re: Feelings of guilt re: family

Hi carydarling,

Most of the replies are in your favor, but they may or may not be helping you completely resolve your feelings.In the past, myself and I'm sure many others also have experienced feeling similar to yours; even though the personal circumstances are not the same as yours.

My suggestion is to you is; try to use an eclectic method and take piecemill advice from all of the replies which enhance your self esteem from a healthy position. Just try to live a balanced healthy life; eat well, get enough sleep -- don't overdo things and try too hard. You are doing OK....

[mindflayer]

I read every post above mine, and everyone gave you a serious reply, but it is hard for me to do so. I will try, but im sure the humour will seep in.

A) Yeah they mucked up your name.. it should be
Saint Cary. (no sarcasm)
They give medals for going beyond the call of duty.
If what you say is true, you deserve a medal.

B) When I read your post I think about Laura Linney's Character (Sara) in 'Love Actually' (movie with Hugh Grant). If you have seen it, you know what I mean, and if you havent, see it with your neices next movie night.

C) Now I feel the need to do somthing good, because when I think of how I would perform in your shoes I feel small.

[darydarling]

I appreciate all the responses.
I know this is something I probably can only work out myself but there are some good suggestions here that I think I will look into.
A bunch of stuff is just coming down and it really just seemed to be hitting hard yesterday.
I emailed a couple of friends of mine discussing some of these issues as the guilt is not the only one...I am currently doing something I no longer wish to do, another one of those jobs that I only work in to make sure I can provide.
Anyway they are working very hard to help me with a career change doing something I am very interested in and things are looking up.
It felt good to finally get this off of my chest and thanks Shannon for your friendship, and the advice you have had to offer.
Cary

[Demana]

There is nothing any of us can say that will help you get over the guilt and I only see three options ahead of you:

#1 Continue as is and keep feeling guilty. It will grow the longer you let it fester, even once the girls are gone and your sister is living on her own.

#2 Get over the guilt on your own. Just let it go into the wind.

#3 Hold a family meeting and ask everyone how they feel about the times that you are playing poker. I think you'll be surprised at how supportive they are about you doing something that makes you happy.

Guilt is self created. Fight back! [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

btw - Handling the downswings are an entirely different beastie and I think they will be easier for you to handle once you're rid of this guilt crap.