If it was okay, would you cheat on your significant other?

[rwanger]

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Christ pull the stick out of your ass. Just because you want to put your penis in a bunch of girls doesn't mean it's safe.

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Your comment about STDs was not relevant to the orginal question, and sounded like it was coming from your soapbox. If YOUR reason for not wanting to be with anyone is for fear of catching an STD, then that's fine, but that is not relevant to social conventions. (not trying to pick fight) [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I posted the question because I would not be interesting in being with anyone besides my significant other, and it seems like many others are suggesting that if social conventions were different, then maybe I would have a different opinion.

Any other thoughts?

[gildwulf]

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Christ pull the stick out of your ass. Just because you want to put your penis in a bunch of girls doesn't mean it's safe.

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Your comment about STDs was not relevant to the orginal question, and sounded like it was coming from your soapbox. If YOUR reason for not wanting to be with anyone is for fear of catching an STD, then that's fine, but that is not relevant to social conventions. (not trying to pick fight) [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

I posted the question because I would not be interesting in being with anyone besides my significant other, and it seems like many others are suggesting that if social conventions were different, then maybe I would have a different opinion.

Any other thoughts?

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I agree that the STD comment was ridiculous and soapbox-y. Condoms and birth control exist outside of monogamous long-term relationships, believe it or not.

[chesspain]

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If there wasn't a "social convention" agaist cheating on your siginificant other...would you cheat?


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Then it wouldn't really be "cheating" now, would it?

[rchandra]

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2) Sleeping around is normal, SO objects.
This is likely to be problematic, but I'm not doing it even if I can't get caught. It's not right. Either break up and find a "better" life-partner who'll let me sleep around or work with the one I have. I might try persuasion / negotiation.


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This poses an interesting question. If the norm was that S.O. relationships were open, would that openness be so important to you that you would refuse to be with anyone who wanted a closed relationship?

And if you say yes, then you'll have to defend why our current "social convention" itself is enough to stop you from persuing a S.O. interested in an open relationship.

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No, I wouldn't. I'm with my SO for some reason. I'll keep he/she/it. And I don't feel that I need a multiway or open relationship, just that it has benefits _if_ all parties want it.

Social convention is certainly a powerful force, especially since the SOs are not immune. I tend to avoid jeopardizing a relationship, just call me weak-tight. If I needed to share a desire that I'm not comfortable revealing to the public, my SO will be told once I feel love is there (but I wouldn't dodge if asked beforehand) and things might become permanent, so the SO would need to know.

in the case of relationships, or anything, is it social convention that dictates your actions? Is social convention responsible for the two persons being together? probably not -- then why would social convention dictate the rules and conditions that surround that relationship? Without using judgemental words such as "successful" or "meaningful" or "true," (as in my eyes there are no failures) there must be some way to differentiate an exclusive, long lasting relationship from hangin and hookin. Lets use the word exclusive. If you are in an exclusive relationship, then the terms and conditions of that relationship are established between the two people. Social conventions have nothing to do with it.
(dont want to bother reading through all the posts. so if this duplicates then sorry.)

I said the same thing, that being with more than one person would be an issue with your partner, and really has nothing to do with social convention.