|
|
#21
08-09-2005, 03:18 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it has the potential to become one of the state's premier courses, and I look forward to the opportunity to help xxx maximize its potential [/ QUOTE ] That's very good now where are the pics of the girl? [/ QUOTE ] Pics from our last golf outing: pics Also, I rehosted the original image. 
|
|
#22
08-09-2005, 03:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
I was very excited to hear of the position at XXX. I believe your course has the potential to become one of the best in the state.
|
|
#23
08-09-2005, 03:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it has the potential to become one of the state's premier courses, and I look forward to the opportunity to help xxx maximize its potential [/ QUOTE ] That's very good now where are the pics of the girl? [/ QUOTE ] Pics from our last golf outing: pics Also, I rehosted the original image. [/ QUOTE ] almost got me... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
|
|
#24
08-09-2005, 03:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
MOFO.
Pic above NSFW. I hope they ban your unemployed ass for that.
|
|
#25
08-09-2005, 03:20 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] winner [/ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it has the potential to become one of the state's premier courses, and I look forward to the opportunity to help xxx maximize its potential I concur. [/ QUOTE ] sorry if I'm nitpicking, but I think this still has a comma splice. whether or not the person reading it will notice, I don't know, but how about this slight alteration: I was excited [do you need "very"? seems like it's just an unnecessary modifier] to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it can become one of the state's premier courses and look forward to helping xxx realize its full potential ["maximize" is kind of a computery verb, also you eliminate one of the "potentials"]
|
|
#26
08-09-2005, 03:22 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] winner [/ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it has the potential to become one of the state's premier courses, and I look forward to the opportunity to help xxx maximize its potential I concur. [/ QUOTE ] sorry if I'm nitpicking, but I think this still has a comma splice. whether or not the person reading it will notice, I don't know, but how about this slight alteration: I was excited [do you need "very"? seems like it's just an unnecessary modifier] to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it can become one of the state's premier courses and look forward to helping xxx realize its full potential ["maximize" is kind of a computery verb, also you eliminate one of the "potentials"] [/ QUOTE ] I'm going to go with Eurotrash on this one. Much better.
|
|
#28
08-09-2005, 03:42 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I'm going to go with Eurotrash on this one. Much better. [/ QUOTE ] Ya, changed it. [/ QUOTE ] sweet, I feel proud that you're using my edit [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] good luck with it, I hope they like it.
|
|
#29
08-09-2005, 03:42 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Fix this sentence
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] [ QUOTE ] winner [/ QUOTE ] I was very excited to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it has the potential to become one of the state's premier courses, and I look forward to the opportunity to help xxx maximize its potential I concur. [/ QUOTE ] sorry if I'm nitpicking, but I think this still has a comma splice. whether or not the person reading it will notice, I don't know, but how about this slight alteration: I was excited [do you need "very"? seems like it's just an unnecessary modifier] to hear of xxx's recent opening. I believe it can become one of the state's premier courses and look forward to helping xxx realize its full potential ["maximize" is kind of a computery verb, also you eliminate one of the "potentials"] [/ QUOTE ] Subject/pronoun issue. "It" sounds like it could be referring to the "opening". Last part too fluffy with resume-speak - try I feel I will be a strong contributor to the marketing department at XXX.
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
