To the NL donkey "slumming" at the Greektown 5/10 this past weekend

MrDannimal · #1 10-24-2005, 11:45 AM

Disclaimer: I don't know if he was really a NL player "slumming", and I don't care. Sure seemed like it, but the pen-fifteen deserves this either way.

Sir,

Some friendly tips should you choose to keep donating to the 5/10 game:

- Bets before the flop and on the flop are always $5 and raises are always in increments of $5. On the turn and river, it's $10. At no time can you be the first to bet $15, and at no time may you raise from $5 to $20. Not in the first hour at the table, and not 7 hours later.

- The action always moves the same direction. With the exception of the button/blinds area, you can always know it's your turn to act when the two people on your right have just acted. There is no need to wonder aloud after a 30 second blank stare if it's on you.

- If your pre-flop decision chart looks like this: "If it's 1 or 2 bets to me, call 98% of the time", you really shouldn't be taking 30-45 seconds to decide what to do.

- Please make a token effort to remember what two cards you have. They do not change during the hand, so there really shouldn't be a need to re-check them every round. Perhaps you have both a terrible memory AND bad eyesight, and cannot tell or remember what the cards are. If you are both stupid AND blind, forgive my anger.

- I realize you're not paying time, but that's not really an excuse to try to drag the game down to 15-20 hands/hr. As much as you might enjoy speechifying and taking 60 seconds to fold on the river for 1 BB in a 25 BB pot, they won't let me wear headphones at the table.

- If you bet the river and are called, you are required to show your hand first. If you admit this is the rule, but insist on waiting until either the other player shows he has picked off your bluff OR for the dealer to realize you're being a jerk and ask you to show, stab yourself in the thigh.

- Your mirrorshades do not allow you to peer into someone's soul, no matter what the ad on the back of the Archie comic said.

- Staring at other players will not help you, because you don't have any idea what you're looking for. You just know staring is cool on TV.

Just trying to help.

Smooches,

A fellow player.

P.S. As frustrating as you are, I still love you. I love that you suck out and amass chips that you then donate to me. It makes the times you suckout on me less painful because I instead watch your stack rise and fall (but mostly fall) like Dolly Parton's breast.

#2 10-24-2005, 11:55 AM

This is just beautiful! It should be required reading by anyone not recognized by anyone at the floor's desk before they're allowed to buy chips. And a large sign on the wall would be nice for reference.

nh

jba · #3 10-24-2005, 12:07 PM

[ QUOTE ]

- If your pre-flop decision chart looks like this: "If it's 1 or 2 bets to me, call 98% of the time", you really shouldn't be taking 30-45 seconds to decide what to do.

[/ QUOTE ]

classic. nice post.

NoRiverRats · #4 10-24-2005, 12:28 PM

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As much as you might enjoy speechifying and taking 60 seconds to fold on the river for 1 BB in a 25 BB pot, they won't let me wear headphones at the table.

[/ QUOTE ]

I love it!

Koss · #5 10-24-2005, 02:57 PM

So I'm sitting at Greektown 3/6 one day, and this guy sits down at our table. There's 3 to a flop of A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]2 [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]4 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. Our new guy bets and gets raised, which he calls. Turn is the 9 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. He bets and gets raised again; thinks a while then calls. River is the 2 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. He bets, gets raised again; thinks forever and calls. He flips over TT [img]/images/graemlins/shocked.gif[/img]. Other guy flips over 3 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] 5 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] for the straight flush. He then says "This game is confusing, I'm going to go play NL." I almost followed him to the table. It's people like him that make me wonder why I even bother with limit holdem anymore.

Easy E · #6 10-24-2005, 03:31 PM

[ QUOTE ]
I almost followed him to the table. It's people like him that make me wonder why I even bother with limit holdem anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't that a redundant statement? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Koss · #7 10-24-2005, 03:37 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I almost followed him to the table. It's people like him that make me wonder why I even bother with limit holdem anymore.

[/ QUOTE ]

Isn't that a redundant statement? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

The fish are flocking to NL in droves. The limit games nowadays are mostly older people who play somewhat well, or younger kids who are making an effort to learn the game and also play well. All the fish are at 1/2NL. That's why I said I shouldn't even bother with limit anymore.

somapopper · #8 10-24-2005, 05:41 PM

although bad, this can't possibly be close to the worst thing you can come up with for B&M 3/6.

TripleH68 · #9 10-24-2005, 06:10 PM

Yo Dannimal,

I played last Monday night at Greektown and it was the worst ever!

Some of the worst play I have ever seen which is great. But some of the most annoying, slowest poker I have ever played. We get more hands in at the family table with my aunts and uncles. This included several players who kept asking 'how much is it?' and 'how much can I raise it to?'

It is just so tiring.

JJNJustin · #10 10-24-2005, 11:25 PM

As annoying as they are, these are typically the players that provide most of the profit in these games.

There was an arabic guy at Greektown who used to play $5-$10 and always shout "Ship it." who was incredibly annoying. To top it off, he constantly would utter "Ari Fiq Menyuk", which in arabic means "Let me stick it in you, faggot." He would call on any ace and suckout quite a bit, and yet when you sucked out on him he would utter his arabic curses. He was very loud and obnoxious to women.

Annoying as he was, I would stay longer whenever he was in the game, because he was providing for at least 1/2 of the overall profits I was making from the game.

Poker is a tough way to make an easy living, and one of the hard things is dealing with an annoying player. It's something you have to tune out, just like bad beats, in order to be successful. Either that or change tables.

good luck
-J