Since there's no girl problem thread on 1st page....

[daryn]

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Ok i will try not to be a smart ass here. DUDE seriously it does not matter if she made up the first story. She clearly does not feel the same way about you. I mean i am not sure how you are missing that. SHE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. SHE IS BEING NICE. When it clicks it clicks no matter the distance. Move on guy this is not the one.

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this is so obviously correct. don't take offense to being told this, it's just the truth. it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you (although i'm certain there is from your previous posts).

like a wise man said

YOU CAINT ALWAYS GIT WHAT YOU WANT

[DemonDeac]

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Ok i will try not to be a smart ass here. DUDE seriously it does not matter if she made up the first story. She clearly does not feel the same way about you. I mean i am not sure how you are missing that. SHE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. SHE IS BEING NICE. When it clicks it clicks no matter the distance. Move on guy this is not the one.

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this isnt about her being "the one". this is about me always wondering "what if...". i mean, ill move on. im a good looking, funny guy ive never been in this situation with a girl. i honestly think she likes me, but is just scared because of what happened to her in the past. but u have ur opinion and thats fine. i just dont wanna sit here wondering "what if..."

[DemonDeac]

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it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you (although i'm certain there is from your previous posts).


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funny

[DrunkIrish05]

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So then I bring up the point of what about when we get back, can we be more than friends and start something?

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this is where you went wrong.

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why's that? should i have not said anything until we got back, in your opinion?

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This is one of those funny things with dating, you can't be completely honest about how you feel or it will push her away and give it no chance. Right now, you are obviously more into her than she is into you. She is probably not thinking about that far in the future, and hearing that you are already thinking that far ahead and that you are already willing to give it a chance now even though that is way in the future is just gonna push her away further. Give her space when you're apart and maybe you'll be able to give it a try again when she gets back.

However, I GUARANTEE that if you push now for her to tell you that she will for sure give it a chance later on, then there is absolutely no chance she shows any interest in you when she comes back.

hope that makes a little sense at least

[daryn]

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it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you (although i'm certain there is from your previous posts).


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funny

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not a joke

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

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Either one of you has to transfer, or you're not going to date this chick. That's all there is to it.

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you really think so?

1st, thats not gonna happen
2nd, even with the distance problem, i would think that we would be able to overcome this problem. i mean, we live near each other so we'd see eachother during breaks and whatnot and the occasional visit.

i would see the distance as a test, if it doesnt work, it doesnt work. life goes on. but the fact remains i dont wanna wonder "what if..."

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This kind of thing typically doesn't work well in college. I'd not try it - live it up while you're in college instead of tying yourself to something that's not there.

[Eurotrash]

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YOU CAINT ALWAYS GIT WHAT YOU WANT

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perhaps also applicable here, from Stephen Stills:


"and if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with."

[Harv72b]

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So it seems I'm paying the price because some [censored] didn't know how to treat her right.

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We all do this. It's called "baggage". If you ever meet a girl without any, marry her that very instant. Not that guys don't carry baggage, too.

As far as why you went wrong when you brought up "when we get back"...this is basically asking her to wait for you, even if you're not asking that she refrain from seeing other people during the fall. You are asking for a commitment from her to remain available to you when you both return from Europe. She's obviously not ready to make this kind of a commitment, and you either have to accept that as is, or just move on completely.

Also, think about what kind of an answer you were hoping to get from her. If she says "yes", then you're basically still boyfriend/girlfriend while you're away. She can't really see anyone else without risking breaking her promise to you, because hey--what happens if she falls in love with the other guy? Ditto for you. If she says "no", then you're just SOL already. If she says "maybe" or "we'll see", is that going to be good enough for you?

Not to devalue your feelings for her or the legitimacy of them, but you really need to think about the fact that you just met this girl a month ago. New relationships are always great because they're new--little personality traits that will eventually become annoying are still fresh and cute. Insecurities that you think are endearing now will eventually become tiresome. What it comes down to is, the two of you still don't really know each other at this point, and it's probably far too early to be making decisions for the next 3 months (or however long you'll be away) right now.

To answer your question, if you really do like this girl and think that there is a future there, then just respect her wishes, keep in touch while you're in Rome, and see what happens. Don't go overseas expecting to win her over and be madly in love by the time you get back to Philly. Don't pester her about what happens when. Don't even bring the subject up. Don't avoid dating while you're in Rome, and don't get jealous if she ever mentions a guy when you talk/write/whatever.

Now, honestly, ask yourself if you can handle all of that, and if you really think she's worth it. There's your answer.

[astroglide]

i agree that about any rule can be broken for somebody that is absolutely into another person, but the "does not like you" part is probably wrong. it's more like, "does not like you enough", which isn't even an insult given the circumstances. sounds like a rational perspective after 1 month.

[irishpint]

it is impossible to be friends w/ a hot girl because all you want to do it hit it. if she won't let you, then there is no reason to be there.