Do you have a best friend?

[STLantny]

[ QUOTE ]
"You are 18"
"You are most likely in a phase"

No I'm 22 now but yeh it is just a phase. If the right girl comes along I won't be able to say no.

Good friends, well we all went our seperate ways a couple of years ago and it takes time to become great mates, and I've never been in the same place for very long. That's fine with me for the moment, I've got the rest of my life in front of me.

[/ QUOTE ]


Basically, my point was, that this cynical view (even though you may not think it is) ends up backfiring when you are trying to score. Trust me. You need to start making friends, and surround yourself with people that make you happy and you can feed off, and vice versa. Then you will have the best of both worlds, good friends, good times, good fuks, and no bad reputation.

[LethalRose]

yes.

[CaptSensible]

This is a very interesting topic.
I have one person in my life right now that I would call a best friend. They've always been there for me when I've needed help. We've gotten through a couple trouble spots that have come up. etc etc...
I have a few people in my life that I would call "very good friends". People I've known for many years and I'm close with but some of them have moved out of town/state or I don't keep very close contact with.

A therapist said this to me: "if in your life you have 1-2 friends who you totally trust and have an intimate bond with then you are doing better than most. It's a rare thing."

I find it harder as I get older to find like minded people with whom I can forge this kind of bond but it's an extremely important thing for me to have in my life.
Without it my life becomes a little less pleasurable and much more difficult to endure because it creates feelings of loneliness and emptyness.

I derive a great amount of pleasure from sharing things I enjoy with other people. The people I enjoy that kind of sharing with the most are people with whom I feel I really understand and that they really understand me.

Keep in mind: I've had best friends in the past that I'm no longer friends with. That's part of life. Particularly when your younger and as you start to get older. People change, values shift, etc...

It's worth it for me to:

1. pay close attention to those relationships most important to me. Never to take them for granted.

2. keep myself open to be available for opportunities to create those kinds of friendships.

---

One of the ways, I think, to build those kinds of friendships is to talk about important/intimate things such as how you are really feeling, fears, aspirations, important things that are going on in your life, etc, etc...

I hope you find a "best friend"/"very good friend". It really makes life a lot more interesting [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[lu_hawk]

my dog is my best friend. my last dog was my best friend before him.

[Sooga]

[ QUOTE ]

A therapist said this to me: "if in your life you have 1-2 friends who you totally trust and have an intimate bond with then you are doing better than most. It's a rare thing."


[/ QUOTE ]

Before this poll, I thought I must have been a freak for not having someone I consider a 'best friend'. But looking at the polls, the 'haves' only outnumber the 'have nots' by less than a 3:2 ratio. I'm very surprised at this result.

I suppose I'm part of the smaller minority to never have had a 'best friend', but I still find it interesting that as of this moment, so many people on this board, like myself, don't really have that strong 'friend' bond with anyone. Your therapist hit the nail right on the head.

Looking back, it's funny how much easier it seemed for me to make friends when I was younger than now. Back then, it wasn't hard to find another kid who shared the same love of candy, or legos, or whatever it was that you liked. As you get older though, people's interests are not only so much more diverse, but people themselves seem to be a lot more guarded and cynical, making it that much harder to find a truly 'best' friend.

Don't get me wrong, I would much rather have a best friend than not, but I think finding one would be such a huge undertaking, and filled with so many opportunities for things to go horribly wrong, that I don't much know if it's worth the trouble.

[EliteNinja]

yup

[CardSharpCook]

[ QUOTE ]

I find it harder as I get older to find like minded people with whom I can forge this kind of bond but it's an extremely important thing for me to have in my life.
Without it my life becomes a little less pleasurable and much more difficult to endure because it creates feelings of loneliness and emptyness.

[/ QUOTE ]

I think it was a Patrick Swayze movie - The Grey Ghost - it is about a football star, his GF, and his best friend. The movie cycles through the years. When he is like 35/40 his college bestfriend visits him and he gives this great monologue part of it goes something like, "...You think you're going to go through life with friends like you, me, and Susan. You don't."

I've certainly found that to be true. In elementary school, I always had a best friend, but in those 12 years, I think I had about 4 different guy friends who were my best friend. I found a new best friend in college. I haven't had a new best friend since. That was four years ago. Interestingly it may also coincide with the first time I fell in love. Maybe that's the answer - when we get older we need to find a best friend of the opposite sex.

Regardless, my life is certainly emptier for not having a best friend. It is always nice to be close to people.

CSC