My girlfriend wants me to stop playing!

[Kurn, son of Mogh]

Prepost disclaimer: It's your life, do what makes you happy regardless of what we say.

If the issue is how much time you spend with her, agree to negotiate that part and not the poker part.

If it's "your job" and you only work 15-20 hours per week, what's she going to think when you have to work 40-60 in the real world. (I wish there was internet poker when I was in college. I worked more hours per week at a lot more miserable and less lucrative jobs).

[phlup]

Dude, this is complete crap. 15-20 hours a week is not bad at all. You go to class for what, 15-18 hours a week? So add those together and it's less time than a normal job. She is just trying to see how much control she has over your life. Don't let her do this. If playing 15-20 hours a week is cutting in to your time together with her, you guys see each other too much.

I rowed crew in college. 20 hours a week when we weren't on the water and racing. Once we hit racing season, 4 hours a day and gone Friday-Sunday. Girls understood this and we made it work. It really wasn't hard when you have a good girl who doesn't get jealous when you don't spend every moment with them.

So yeah, don't let her do this. Sit her down and explain your point of view. Tell her you love spending time with her, but in the big picture 15 hours a week isn't much. I know you spend more than that apart anyway.

[smoore]

[ QUOTE ]
She is just trying to see how much control she has over your life. Don't let her do this.

[/ QUOTE ]

I concur. Don't dump her for this reason alone but you may want to take a cold look at other aspects of your relationship...

"You're wearing THAT?"

"Come shopping with me."

"I'm not going to hang out with your friends."

etc.

[4_2_it]

Unless you are missing out on time with her or playing poker when she comes over, it's really none of her business how long you play. There is something else going here. is your girlfriend's family giving her grief about dating a degenerate gambler?

Of course, you could spent the extra 10 hours a week bar whoring if that would make your girlfriend feel better [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]


FWIW -- I am married 15 years and play several nights a week. Never in front of the kids and only after everything else is done. It is my hobby/stress reliever. It also generates income. My wife pays $50 for a weekly tennis lesson. When she gave me grief about playing cards I asked her how much money she made from her hobby. I have not had a problem since. Moral: You just to figure out the right way to convince her what you are doing is worthwhile.

[4ever]

I think Dr. Laura has a forum too.

My gf, Jennifer Harmon, plays more than I do and understands, so I have no complaints in that regard.

[vexvelour]

I don't know man, I know what it's like to have to make sacrifices for your boy/girl friend, but letting her tell you how much to play sounds pretty lame.

What is the reason you should play less poker?

[Autocratic]

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What is the reason you should play less poker?

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I was thinking this, too. The fact that you didn't cite specific reasons reinforces that she seems to just want control. If you want to keep your life under your own control, do not do this.

[coffeecrazy1]

1)I agree with most of the other posters. This has nothing to do with poker. This has to do with control. She wants it. It's up to you if you let her have it.

2)Would she say the same thing if you worked in a coffeehouse or a restaurant? I doubt it, because that's a "real" job. If poker is the way you make money, then that's your job. To rephrase my last question, would you quit your job at a coffeehouse or a restaurant if a girl told you to?

3)Appeasement only makes the aggressor more aggressive. I am 26-years-old, and have spent last four years of my life learning the following: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ANOTHER GIRL. She may seem special, or The One, or whatever...but at the end of the day, she's one of about 3 billion...bear that in mind.

4)IF you decide you will do this, I would say that it would be entirely reasonable if you asked her to give up something equally important to her, such as her cellphone, her time with her friends, or whatever else is her hobby/job so she can focus on you. I would be very firm about this.

5)Be willing to walk away from this girl. I'm not saying you should, but be willing to...because doing any of the above actions will result in Full Tantrum Mode from her(if I am correct about what kind of girl she is).

[gabbahh]

[ QUOTE ]

"Adam, I want you to play 3 hours/week or less!"


[/ QUOTE ]
This must be the most expensive biatch in the whole wide world.