the wrong way to use Clarkmeister's theorem?

[arsixsixwy]

Preflop: I guess you can see a free flop. If they force you to.

Flop: I hate this call. This pot is superdupersmall, you have eight outs to a straight, but really only six to a straight you feel good about, and since you may be drawing dead already, I might even discount it to more like 5 outs. Fold this. Now.

Turn: Accidental misapplication of Clarkmeister theorem. Okay. To an offsuit blank, you're check/folding, right?

River: Well, you made your hand. Too bad it's beaten by a heart. Any heart in the world. Villain would be pretty dumb to be calling you down without one, so howsabout we try for a free showdown? You're not getting called by anything you beat.