Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[swede123]

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In this game though, if you get dealt three cards in a row of the same denomination (three sevens, or three queens for example), the dealer turns over this hourglass, and the table has 5 minutes where every dealer card is exposed up front.

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Wow. I got all excited about exploiting this and making tons of cash, and then I realized they can just ban you if they want. Or at the very least limit your bet.

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By Colorado law the maximum allowed bet is $5 per hand. I'd say the casino is safe for now.

Swede

At Casino Arizona a few years back when poker was at the Mckellips Road location.

I show up to play 15-30 stud and sit in the 4 seat. The man in the 5 seat is a total stranger and he has a humongous pile of chips in front of him. He's holding a whiskey glass in one hand. He doesn't know the word "fold" only "bet" and "raise" and he's winning every hand. No one with any cards at all will fold to him. Every time the waitress comes over he orders a double scotch. Finally his pile of chips starts to dwindle. When he gets down to "only" 4 racks of chips he reaches into his back pocket and brings out a sheet of paper. I'm sitting right next to him so I can see that on the top it says "Tucson Gamblers Anonymous" and it has a list of names and phone numbers. He makes a few calls. Then he turns the sheet over and on the top it says "Tucson Alcoholics Anonymous" and he makes a few calls from that list also. If it wasn't so sad I'd have laughed hysterically. Well, his luck turned around again and he started back to winning every pot and his mountain of chips was growing again when his cell phone started to ring. He didn't seem to notice so I mentioned to him that his phone was ringing and he said "I don't want to talk to those (insert your own sure to be deleted expletives here). After a while he tried to order another drink but he literally could not speak. I told the waitress that he wanted a double scotch, the same that she'd been bringing him for the past few hours. That's when she woke up. The policy at Casino Arizona is to ask you to leave when you are drunk. They will force you to leave if you don't go nicely. I saw them getting ready to do just that and was worried about what would happen. They offer a cab to the drunks but Tucson is a 2 hours drive south on I-17. I went up to the manager who was handling the situation and told him that the guy was from Tucson and that to make him leave might be just like murder in this case and they let this guy stay (no more drinks) until he sobered up. And, yes, he still ran lucky.

[scrub]

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Ok, so this one comes to you from the Borgata and it involves a hot cocktail waitress. After playing seriously all day a good friend and I decide to play 2-4 and get hammered. Pretty standard so far.

We buy in for the obligatory 3-5 racks of white each and fire up the game. When the cocktail waitress (Trish for those who frequent the borgata) comes around the first time we tell her to keep them coming and give her a handfull of whites each. Now I realize that all the waitresses there are hot, but this chick is absolutely smoking, arguably the hottest one there. She's getting us good and drunk and we are hitting on her like the drunk degenerate sleazes that we are. I assume shes playing along only because we are tipping obscenely, but eventually she brings our drinks over and asks what we are doing after poker. We sort of do a double take and say something like "taking you up to the BBar" etc. She says to meet her there at 4 she is going there with another waitress. So obviously we go, I cant do anything because I have a serious gf but my buddy is pumped. The friend turns out to be somewhat ugly and I occupy her while my buddy runs his game on the hot waitress. At some point (I was beyond wasted) they disappear. The end of this story is a letdown as he later told me that it wasnt that great once they got upstairs, but let it be an inspirational tale illustrating the possibility of hooking up with one of those hotties...

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For the record, you are one of the funniest drunken 2/4 players I know. I may make it down there when I'm back east for the holidays.

scrub