My friend is terrible at poker....should I do anything?

[Tilt]

You probably cant get her to stop, but you might be able to intervene by telling her that her game sucks and that she needs to work on it. You could even coach her.

[AlanBostick]

On one level, if she's good for the money, what's the problem? She's contributing more money to the poker economy, and that's good for all of us, including you.

On an entirely different level, yes, it sounds to me like she has a compulsive-gambling problem. This is a big problem for her and the people she is close to. A compulsive gambler presents to friends and family all the problems we associate with addictions and substance abuse, with the added complication that compulsive gamblers can burn through much more money than other sorts of addicts. A heroin addict's next few fixes cost only $10 to $100; a compulsive gambler can go through thousands of dollars in an hour.

How close are you to her? If you are close enough to be within the blast radius when she goes off, above and beyond any ties of friendship with her, your interest of self-protection plays a role here. You might simply want to get outside of the blast radius, i.e. cut your ties to her and put some distance between you. Or, you may want to work to make her explosion less likely.

I know a number of compulsive gamblers who turned to poker because it is a game that smart people can win. They still have a jones for risk, but try to feed that jones with positive-EV bets. One approach may be to "help" your friend by showing her how to be a compulsive gambler who wins rather than one who loses. From what you say, though, she doesn't seem to be amenable to this approach.

If you're close to her and you care for her, another tack might be to set up an intervention with the assistance of other people close to her, as well as possibly an addiction and recovery professional.

Lastly, she's good for the money now, but if things don't change, the day will come when she asks you for a transfer, you shoot her the funds, and she doesn't pay you back. The only way to prevent this is for you to stop transferring funds to her.

In your situation, what I would do would be to stop transferring funds. I disagree with others in the thread: don't make up some story about how the site warned you about "suspicious transfers". Tell her the truth: you won't transfer her any more money because you are concerned she may have a gambling problem. It stands a significant chance of ruining the friendship, and at the same time it stands a noticeable chance of being her wake-up call. If she keeps on as she is going, the friendship is in trouble anyway.

I know this is grim advice, but it's a grim situation. There is, however, more hope than some of the other posters make out.

[Xhad]

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Sorry for the small thread hijack, but why would someone offer you extra money for your money in a B&M? I mean, they can just go to the cashier. Or were they offering to pay you back later?

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Usually they want to borrow your 40 bucks or whatever and play it on the spot and try to get a profit and give you the 40 back once they win. But they usually dont win hence buying into a 4-8 game with 40 bucks.

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Exactly, this was an incredibly terrible player who lost like 3 or 4 buyins and wanted me to spot him one so he could keep playing and then pay me with his profit, but this is a guy so terrible that I've seen games continue 3 and 4 handed at 4am solely because we wanted his action.

[UATrewqaz]

Mention to her that she's just blowing the money and she should either try to get better or just give up playing, and say the reason you are mentioning it is because you are just worried about her and don't want her to waste her money.

[splashpot]

I guess this is why I hesitate to confront her about her problem. She doesn't think she's bad at poker. She mostly blames it on bad luck. If I were to tell her that she's bad at poker, it's almost like I'm talking down to her and I would sound condecending. I'm sure of what would happen next. She would tell me that it's not her fault. Then proceed to tell me more hand stories. Probably dozens of bad beat stories. Most of which I assume are made up. And if I tell her that isn't possible, I'm essentially calling her a liar.

[Roman]

There are two possible scenarios, and I have dealt with both of them:
1) Person is playing primarily for fun and doesnt care/need to win money.
2) Person has a problem with gambling

Dealing with type 1 is easy, just tell them they are prolly gonna lose again and they will stop asking once they have lost enough.
Type 2 is a little tougher, tell them you know enough about poker to know that without significantly imporving their game, they will be a loser. I have no problems helping that person get money online untill it becomes a financial burden or burden on their life. If i see that point approaching, I try to help them with improving their game, and if it continues you must cut them off.

Guaging how much money she can afford to lose and why she plays is important.

[PokerBob]

give her SSH. and then give her my number. i am very lonely.

[UATrewqaz]

Give me her screen name, hahah

[bernie]

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry for the small thread hijack, but why would someone offer you extra money for your money in a B&M? I mean, they can just go to the cashier. Or were they offering to pay you back later?


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Think about it. They're busted out and their ATM card is maxxed. They usually offer to pay it back later in the week. Isn't addiction wonderful?

I remember seeing an old lady waiting for midnight because then it would be a 'new day' for her ATM card so she could then pull out more money as she had maxxed her allotment for the day.

b

[bernie]

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I've had someone doing this follow me into a restroom to plead his case after I said no the first couple of times.

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I just heard a story like this yesterday. A guy playing the day kicked ass on a 4-8 while waiting for a seat in the 10-20. Gets his seat at 10-20 and his run keeps going. He goes to the can and a guy from his 4-8 game, that he's never met before, hits him up for a loan mentioning that he sees he's doing real well.

If you think about it, it's kinda scary that a guy would track you like that then act on it. Makes for an interesting thought while walking to your car in the parking lot.

b