My version of the "Try to get me to stay in school" thread. Advice?

I came across this thread the other day: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...t=all&vc=1

I realize some people really don't like to read long posts so i'll include a short summary and long version.

Short :
- In high school I had no social life and was depressed, went on meds, became very social, made friends, got a gf, etc. Stopped meds by senior year cuz I felt I didn't need them
- I ended up not enjoying being social anymore and got into being a loner again but still had friends and a GF
- Went back on meds before college, had the best year of my life, drinking, partying, girls, new friends, etc.. what college is all about
- Went off meds cuz I had the life style I wanted for college and lots of friends
- Friends got into poker, leading to me getting into online poker.
- I started playing this all the time but still would go out. It got to the point where I wasn't even interested in going out to parties anymore and they were boring to me. Lost motivation for school work, socializing, and girls.
- I rationalized this by the fact that if I work hard now I can mak alot of money early in life while I have no expenses and financial freedom and I did not want to work a 9 to 5.
- Also rationalized by saying I did not even have fun going out anymore so why do something I don't enjoy.
- Seeking advice on if theres a problem with me not enjoying going out anymore (the parties around here suck, my friends dont party much anymore, i still know alot of people though and cosntantly turn down offers from people I know to hang out), and if there is a problem what can I even do about it if I simply don't enjoy going out. I've tried forcing myself out and still do but it's not a big thrill to me anymore.
Long:

His thread really hit home to me on a few categories but there were differences.

First and foremost, I am in school right now with NO plans of dropping out. I have already completed 2 years and am in my third year and I definitely agree wholeheartedly with peoples comments about how college leaves outs. I also know if I were to drop out now and something happened down the road where I needed to go back to college I would have a hard time doing so.

Ok, so that whole point to be made is out the window. So what's the point of this thread you ask?

Well, alot of the comments in that thread had to do with college being the "best years of your life". My freshman year here, I would agree was the best year of my life, I went out and partied pretty much every night, made LOTS of friends, chased alot of girls, got drunk, and was loving it to death. Ok, that's great. My second year alot of my frends that I had got me into poker and we would play poker every day together, but it was a social fun thing to do with a buncha friends. Money wasnt even the issue it was just fun to get together, watch the game, and drink a few beers. Then I started getting better and eventually got into online poker. I started to play more and more but still would see my friends. Fast forward to my junior year now. I still play poker online and already knew the importance of trying to enjoy the other aspects of college like everyone mentioned in that thread. I've tried to go out to parties like I used to, they are boring to me and not fun. I turn down friends trying to get me to go out all the time because it just is not as fun as it used to be. I've actually TRIED to just go out there and do it but I always end up not enjoying myself and just thinking why am i doing something I just do not want to do? Just because it's expected to go out on the weekends does this mean I have to go out if I don't want to? I used to go out every weekend freshman year because I loved to, and I wish I could still love it now but I just don't.

Other things are... just hanging out with friends. I hang out with my friends less and less because it's just not an interest to me. Yes I try to force myself out at least 2-3 times a week to see them but I still get bored doing this. I go out to a party nowadays and think to myself "So is this what people consider to be the best times of their lives?" Maybe the parties around here suck because we're in the middle of no where but they certainly are not all that fun. If they were i'd go.

It's gotten to the point where all I genuinely want to do is stay in my room, talk to friends online, listen to music, and play poker. This is more interesting to me and productive than going out. And the problem is that I DONT want it to be. I would rather enjoy doing something more social but it's like ive lost interest in that and feel as though i've grown out of that getting wasted stage. It somewhat feels like a deprsesion, i'm not sure. I've lost interest in hanging out with friends, lost interest in going out all the time, lost interest in socializing, etc. And I don't know what to do about it.

Even currently i'm still at the point where im forcing myself out just for the sake of going out but I constantly ask myself why? I saw numerous posts in the other thread where people saying college is the time of your life and you should enjoy it while you can. Well what do you do if college is just no longer fun? It also may be important to note that... i've struggled with depression and anxiety all my life and in high school I always was on the computer playing video games, got put on an AD... then boom, had a social life and desire to get out there and be around people within a month. Got a girlfriend and everything. Then near senior year of high school I had quit the meds, and started to feel as though it wasnt that I was scared to be social, just that I had lost desire to. Hmm... sound similar right? I decide that if im going to be able to enjoy college im going to need that desire back, so I get put back on meds. College comes around and I feel rejuviniated, loving it. Ok.. then I decide sophmore year, I don't need meds anymore, I already have a huge network of friends, mission accomplished. Now here I am junior year feeling like all I want to do is sit in my room relaxing and playing online poker.

Again, it's not that i'm unable to socialize, when I go out I end up running into all kinds of people that I know from my freshman year because I was pretty popular and alot of them talk about how they haven't seen me in a while. Then when I go to friends house it's fun I guess but not very. I've got friends who don't like to go out and party anymore either and just drink at their house. Other friends who just play video games. I've rationalized staying inside because i'm making money, enjoying what i'm doing, and that i've tried to go out and do something else but don't enjoy it the way I used to.

So now what? I've also lost motivation to get good grades in school, lost motivation to get girls (this takes efforts folks), lost any desire to meet new people, etc. I've rationalized this as well by just telling myself that after college i'm not going to be seeing many of them anyway and then i'm out in the real world so whats the point? Why not just start early, work hard towards my goals and financial freedom now, so then I can be the one enjoying life while others who decided to enjoy college are working at a 9 to 5?

I'd like to state that no I do not want to be a professional poker player.. I see no stability there. I wanted to just make as much as I could now when I had no expenses or respnosibilities, so that I can get a head start on making money in investing later. If I spent too much time out partying and goofing off now, whose to say this money that's able to be made on the internet will still be there 5 years from now? I want to make it while I can and use it to fuel other business endeavors later in life.

I also viewed what I was doing now as an investment in life. I do not plan on being locked in my room 5 years from now. I plan to work on making money for a few short years, and then get everything else up to par.... people say poker's not going anywhere and to enjoy time spent in college. Well, way I see it is money to be made online might be going somewhere, and even if it's not, the time where I have no expenses or responsibilities is. Whereas, girls.. they're not going anywhere, people to socialize with arent going anywhere, parties aren't going anywhere.. hell by the time I graduate i'll be able to move somewhere where the parties actually are fun. Booze isn't going anywhere... so I assumed if I am able to retire early through working hard now, i'll be able to enjoy all the forementioned things for alot longer than 4 years because hey, where's vegas going?

So i'm looking for advice on either how to enjoy college because I do want to, or comments on my rationalization on why there really is nothing wrong with not going out all the time right now.

My situation right now is that I probably play poker or just relax in my room 4 days a week and the other 3 i'll spend alot of time on the computer but i'll also go out, try to see my friends and socialize but not enjoy myself while I do. Is there a problem? I feel guilty being on the computer so much when i used to always go out. But I think my rationalization has a few good points, please comment.