Dear bison: the May advice thread.

[bisonbison]

A couple weeks ago I made a thread to try to save you from yourselves. Advice was distributed, I shat on some people, lives were changed and souls saved. Nonetheless, it has come to my attention that some people still help need. Plus, I'm running a fever, so I'm bored out of my hot hot throbbing skull, which is why this May advice thread is getting off the ground on April 30th.

So the premise remains the same: many of y'all are broken cymbal monkeys, thrown in the trash behind the carny booth of life, and I'm here to patch you up, and help you get back on that big old prize shelf we call happiness.

If you post an interesting and/or sincere question in this thread, I will respond with life-altering clarity, compassion and concision. It's the least I can do.

[bugstud]

How much longer until I qualify for the WSOP?

[bisonbison]

Dear bugstud,

The proper format is going to be "Dear bison," followed by a question that isn't dumb.

[bugstud]

[ QUOTE ]
Dear bugstud,

The proper format is going to be "Dear bison," followed by a question that isn't dumb.

[/ QUOTE ]

ok.

Dear Bison,

Who do you like in the NL Central this year?

signed,
Cubs fan

[bisonbison]

Dear Cubs Fan,

I don't like any of the teams in the NL central, but if anyone in the division finishes within 5 games of the Cards I will be very surprised.

[tbach24]

I [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] this thread.

Dear Bison,

I have no ambition. There is only 1 thing I really enjoy, and that is sports. Anyways, I'm not good enough to be an athlete and I doubt that I'm smart enough to get into management. However, since this is my only ambition and I know that I won't be able to succeed in it, I don't have motivation. Help!

[bisonbison]

Dear tbach,

Three things:

1. Most sport franchises are not run or staffed by geniuses. They're staffed with reasonably intelligent people. Most people, with effort, can achieve reasonable intelligence.
2. For most non-players, the most straightforward and forgiving way to get a job with a team is to start low and work hard. I'd suggest writing to every pro team in your area (minor or major league/Arena Football/IHL/MLS/whatever as long as you're entertained by the sport) and ask if they have any internships, paid or unpaid.
3. Motivation is like a disease - you don't catch it by sitting around the house, you get it by exposing yourself to new things and seeing what nests in your chest cavity.

[tbach24]

Dear Bison,

Thanks for this, however my personality won't let me do something for a long time that I don't succeed or think I succeed in. Therefore, I feel that climbing the ranks slowly would torture me. Also, I want to make lots of money, and feel that doing something like that wouldn't give me it. I'm still in HS and this may be due to the fact that I get really into things (so far this year I've decided I want to be a physicist, pro poker player, sports writer, and a mathematician also), but sports generally are what's going on for me and they rarely make me upset. Is there another profession that ties the stuff I like (analytical thinking and such), pays a lot, and would allow me to continue to be obsessed with sports? Should I just wait and see what interests me in college?

[Non_Comformist]

Forgive the interuption of bison's thread but how about a sports writer, assuming you are planning on going to college. You could broaden the scope of the writing to beyond just sports if you wanted to.

[tbach24]

[ QUOTE ]
Forgive the interuption of bison's thread but how about a sports writer, assuming you are planning on going to college. You could broaden the scope of the writing to beyond just sports if you wanted to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, my things are open to anyone who will give advice. I thought about sports writing especially when I was deeply involved in fantasy football and writing 2-3 articles per week and spending lots of time thinking about it, but my brother and friends say they don't make too much. That's a big turnoff for me. Also, my writing = brutal.