Is Going Out to Dinner Solo Strange?

[Jeffage]

I almost chickened out and called for takeout but I didn't. I went over and sat at the sushi bar and actually had a pretty interesting discussion with this guy here on business as I enjoyed my combination sushi platter followed by Sorbet. But it might have been weird sitting there if I had no one to talk to. I brought a book with me just in case, but it wasn't needed. At least I got out of the house lol.

Jeff

[Vish]

I eat dinner alone at a nice restaurant almost every day. I notice people looking at me funny all the time. Once I even heard the people at the next table say "Eating alone? That's horrible!"

I still don't understand why it's horrible or why it should be so difficult for people, though. We do all sorts of things alone every day, why should eating out be an exception? Or going to the movies, for that matter. Someone please explain this to me, I'm befuddled.

[Blarg]

It used to be completely normal, for both men and women. We're a more nosey, less polite society now, and so now in some places it's practically an admission of utter sexual worthlessness or even psychosis for women, who generally wouldn't dream of doing it, and not all that much better for men. I've done it and even heard negative, slightly amazed and disturbed comments from other diners about it -- it just doesn't fit some people's conception of the world and believe it or not even seems to make some of them angry.

Screw that though. Just because others don't have the confidence to do it, doesn't mean you shouldn't. They're really expressing their anger that you're not as self-conscious as they are. Being shamed by thoughtless strangers is for wimps; you gotta enjoy life without apology or asking strangers for permission first, as long as you're not hurting anyone.

And I always bring a magazine or newspaper. A book is a little much for me to get into during meals usually, and you generally have to use a hand to keep it open instead of just laying it flat. But most of all, I never eat alone without anything to do but stare into space. That would be guaranteed to make you way more self-conscious. Besides, it's just plain dull.

[B Dids]

I was not at all comfortable doing this, and I actually made it a point to go out by myself for a week to like learn to do it. It still feels weird, but it's also liberating in a way.

My biggest problem is that without anybody there to talk to, I eat to fast and indulge too much.

[j0ep0ker]

I was hoping somebody would give me a review of my joke. Thanks! You're so cool and your jokes are much better than mine! oh.... you're so cool....

[Blarg]

For some people it just provokes an image of horrible loneliness that they'd hate to experience. For some it indicates non-conformity, which they can't abide. For some it sparks speculation that there must be something wrong with you.

This is very much the case with women. I've talked to women about this a number of times. Every last one said there's no way in hell they would go out to eat dinner alone. And they said so for the reason I had guessed -- it suggests to other women that they're not attractive enough or socially adept enough(though the latter is a far secondary consideration) to have a man taking them out. Or, at the very least, a girlfriend hanging with them. To a woman, this is a sign of totally public and irredeemable loserhood that is just too awful to bear.

Going out to dinner alone, to them, is much much worse than going to a movie alone, which with virtually no exception they said they wouldn't do either. The few who did say they would do it, when asked if they're not just saying that and if they really did do it anytime they could remember, laughed and said no, they were just bullsh*tting, they hadn't done it and wouldn't. They just wanted to sound a little less self-conscious. But they really wouldn't have the nerve, and it would make them feel too embarrassed.

I think women sometimes inaccurately project the same feelings on men and assume they feel the same way, so they find a single dude alone kind of shocking and ascribe to them the bad things they're afraid would be ascribed to them. Maybe it's a kind of psychological purgative to make them feel better about themselves? Or just the digging up of a feeling of fear and shame.

[TheMetetron]

Going to the movies alone actually kicks ass, I've discovered.

As for eating alone, I do it pretty much every day, though I usually don't go to nicer places, since on most days I love feeling like a complete bum and not dressing nice.

Going on vacation alone... now that one is really good for someone to do.. so liberating. I've never had a more fun vacation than some of my single trips.

[RunDownHouse]

Jesus. Not that your posts aren't always well thought out, but they're never less than 3 paragraphs.

As to the OP, my first thought was, "How do I react when I see someone walk in alone?" I tend to think they're a little weird. However, that thought is almost never beyond a hmmm, that's a little weird, and then I don't think about it again. So no big deal.

[Vish]

I love the psychological posts, Blarg. Keep 'em coming.

[Rick Nebiolo]

[ QUOTE ]
Going to the movies alone actually kicks ass, I've discovered.

[/ QUOTE ]


Agree. Even better is going to a movie alone and being the only one in the theater!

~ Rick