Dear Christians: Your child doesn't believe in Jesus. Now what?

[hmkpoker]

Ok, so let's assume the following: you're a devout Christian, married, with one teenage child. And, free will exists.

Now...

You've raised your child in a Christian environment. Not an overwhelming one, but a good one nonetheless. You, your spouse and child have attended mass each Sunday for the past decade or more, and maybe there was a Bible study session or Sunday school every here and there.

Your sixteen year old child comes home from school one day with disturbing news: he has been thinking a lot lately, and has decided that he doesn't believe in Jesus, Heaven, Hell, or God.

You sit down and talk with him for a few hours, but unfortunately, the two of you seem to run into a logical wall. Your child is unconvinced, and furthermore expresses that he would no longer wish to go to Church with you and your spouse.

Your child has free will. The same free will that allows some atheists to come from Christian homes, and Christians to come from atheist homes. If free will exists, then attempts to steer your child into or out of Christianity should be useless. Obviously you want your child to believe, but he is a human being and will, ultimately, make up his own mind regardless of what happens.

What do you do?

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, so let's assume the following: you're a devout Christian, married, with one teenage child. And, free will exists.

Now...

You've raised your child in a Christian environment. Not an overwhelming one, but a good one nonetheless. You, your spouse and child have attended mass each Sunday for the past decade or more, and maybe there was a Bible study session or Sunday school every here and there.

Your sixteen year old child comes home from school one day with disturbing news: he has been thinking a lot lately, and has decided that he doesn't believe in Jesus, Heaven, Hell, or God.

You sit down and talk with him for a few hours, but unfortunately, the two of you seem to run into a logical wall. Your child is unconvinced, and furthermore expresses that he would no longer wish to go to Church with you and your spouse.

Your child has free will. The same free will that allows some atheists to come from Christian homes, and Christians to come from atheist homes. If free will exists, then attempts to steer your child into or out of Christianity should be useless. Obviously you want your child to believe, but he is a human being and will, ultimately, make up his own mind regardless of what happens.

What do you do?

[/ QUOTE ]

You have to let the child do what he wants. You can only pray and wait...attempts at persuasion are useless at some point.

[The Don]

Jam your dogmatic propaganda right down your son's throat until he is totally indifferent toward everything... ask my mom.

[hmkpoker]

If neither we nor God can interfere with free will, what good does prayer do other than alleviate our anxiety?

[TheQ]

I sit back, and wait for an opportunity. His mind is closed to God. Fine. I let him know, if he is ready, to come and talk to me. (Maybe in 30 years....) I pray that I will have an opportunity, and recognize it as such, where he will suffer enough to grow, or open his mind. People grow when they are in pain. Some of the biggest success stories are from people who had unhappy childhoods. I would let him screw up his life like I did, hoping that he would live long enough, to mature enough, to realize things aren't working for him. Some people are just to stubborn /proud/arrogant for that to happen (EVER). But you have to keep being kind to them. That kindness eventually starts to sink in (hopefully) and the recipient, starts to get curious. Why is he so nice to me? Why is he so happy all the time? Curiousity led to God.

Hence: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Good luck with your kid....

[Mempho]

[ QUOTE ]
If neither we nor God can interfere with free will, what good does prayer do other than alleviate our anxiety?

[/ QUOTE ]

Good question. Excellent. I think that people pray in order to hope that God puts the child in a situation in which the child can see more clearly. This might be even be a difficult situation. The child still has a choice to accept or reject, however. Most people go through a "rock bottom" of some sort during their lifetime...during which questions of purpose in life are asked. It is during these times that the true choices are made. For instance, a drug addict does not really "choose" to take drugs everyday. That is simply what the drug addict does. Normally, they don't even conciously think about the choice they have. When the drug addict gets arrested or almost dies, however, it puts them in the position to at least consider what they are doing and if they want to continue. Some drug addicts swear it off forever and some immediately go back for more drugs, aware of what they are doing. The times of choice are those "dark nights of the soul" that are brought on by an outside influence. In God's eyes, all you have to do is make the correct decision one time.

"Dear God -

Please make my child horribly miserable, so that he becomes so depressed, that his only hope is to start believing in you again. Make him deathly ill... an almost fatal car accident might work... make him utterly hopeless. Bring him to the point where life for him is not worth living -- complete dispair. Then, Lord, may he come back to your loving arms.

Love in You,
-- Concerned Parent"

Thats exactly what I heard when he wrote that.

All I know is that as an atheist, if my kid grows up believing in Jesus, after I've made sure that he really knows what that means, Im gonna leave him the hell alone.

Whatever floats your boat. Like I've said before, some christians seem to have lost the part of the bible that says "judge not, lest ye be judged first". This loss even extends to their own children.

FWIW, my mom is a devout Catholic, and knows Im an atheist. She has told me that its my life, I can live it how I want, amidst dropping many hints that she too was an atheist at my age. She still prays for me and stuff, but doesnt pressure me.

[etgryphon]

[ QUOTE ]

If neither we nor God can interfere with free will, what good does prayer do other than alleviate our anxiety?


[/ QUOTE ]

Free Will is a red herring which we like to think is the overruling factor. Our hearts are compelled to that which we find beautiful or most desirable.

Its like a gameshow host shows us two doors. We get to choose (free will) whatever is behind the two doors. So the gameshow host opens the two doors. Behind door #1 is a hot steaming pile of fresh dog crap. Behind door #2 is a million dollars. Now, remember you have free will you can choose the pile of dog crap if you want and it is completely up to you. The Gameshow host isn't going to make you choose the money. But is this really a choice?

That is what Christianity is all about. Door #1 is a life lived for yourself in sin and ultimately hell and eternal damnation. Behind Door #2 is eternal life and purpose and fulfilment.

Praying is petitioning God to open the eyes of your child to see what is really behind door #1 and door #2. God has authority of our perceptions or else he wouldn't be sovereign.

-Gryph

[Trantor]

[ QUOTE ]
Ok, so let's assume the following: you're a devout Christian, married, with one teenage child. And, free will exists.

Now...

You've raised your child in a Christian environment. Not an overwhelming one, but a good one nonetheless. You, your spouse and child have attended mass each Sunday for the past decade or more, and maybe there was a Bible study session or Sunday school every here and there.

Your sixteen year old child comes home from school one day with disturbing news: he has been thinking a lot lately, and has decided that he doesn't believe in Jesus, Heaven, Hell, or God.

You sit down and talk with him for a few hours, but unfortunately, the two of you seem to run into a logical wall. Your child is unconvinced, and furthermore expresses that he would no longer wish to go to Church with you and your spouse.

Your child has free will. The same free will that allows some atheists to come from Christian homes, and Christians to come from atheist homes. If free will exists, then attempts to steer your child into or out of Christianity should be useless. Obviously you want your child to believe, but he is a human being and will, ultimately, make up his own mind regardless of what happens.

What do you do?

[/ QUOTE ]

listen to what your child says and be convinced. Now is the time to take the brave intellectual step and say there is no God.