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  #1  
Old 11-04-2005, 05:50 PM
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Default Self-Help Offer for High Stakes 2+2ers!

Are you having an existential crisis? Do you feel lonely? Are you uncertain about your place in the world? Do you have trouble accepting the fact that you're a leech on society? Do you have limited social skills? Do you need a hobby? Are you worth hundreds of thousands of dollars?

If any of the above describes YOU, then I have a truly exciting offer that you need to hear about.

My course, Jim Matthews' Extromantic 6-Step Self-Help Program, has helped DOZENS of high-stakes poker players who just flat out felt bad and, gosh darn it, needed some advice. No limit? Limit? Tournaments? It DOESN'T MATTER. As long as you make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year and are bummed out, WE CAN HELP.

Is the fact that you play poker for a living disappointing your sense of self?

WE CAN HELP!

Do you have questions about the nature of the universe, and how you fit in?

WE CAN HELP A LOT!

Do you need to learn another skill or hobby to feel like you're a well-rounded and complete person?

WE CAN TEACH YOU TO FISH!

Do you just need the ear of a good friend so you can talk about how much of a spiritual bummer it is to play high stakes poker?

WE CAN GIVE YOU A HUG!

Do you need help carrying all that money?

WE'RE GOOD WITH MONEY!

(Note: The Jim Matthews Extromantic 6-Step Self-Help Program is for <u>high stakes</u> 2+2ers only. If you do not play high stakes, nobody cares about how you feel or how you view your life.)
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  #2  
Old 11-04-2005, 05:51 PM
tonypaladino tonypaladino is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: props to Stuey for fixing my avatar
Posts: 498
Default Re: Self-Help Offer for High Stakes 2+2ers!

wow! This sounds like it will help me get rich, and QUICKLY!!!!
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  #3  
Old 11-04-2005, 05:51 PM
asofel asofel is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: brilliant in my opinion
Posts: 555
Default Re: Self-Help Offer for High Stakes 2+2ers!

that's pretty funny...
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  #4  
Old 11-04-2005, 05:56 PM
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Default Re: Self-Help Offer for High Stakes 2+2ers!

[ QUOTE ]
Are you having an existential crisis?

[/ QUOTE ]

Exi-what?

[ QUOTE ]
Do you feel lonely?

[/ QUOTE ]

Only when I'm around.

[ QUOTE ]
Are you uncertain about your place in the world?

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm very sure that I'm in Chicago right now.

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have trouble accepting the fact that you're a leech on society?

[/ QUOTE ]

I love being a leech on society. It was my childhood dream.

[ QUOTE ]
Do you have limited social skills?

[/ QUOTE ]

STFU retard, you don't know me.

[ QUOTE ]
Do you need a hobby?

[/ QUOTE ]

No, I already masturbate 5 times a day.

[ QUOTE ]
Are you worth hundreds of thousands of dollars?

[/ QUOTE ]

That's none of your goddamn business.
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  #5  
Old 11-04-2005, 05:57 PM
IndieMatty IndieMatty is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Losing 4/8 Stud Player
Posts: 365
Default Re: Self-Help Offer for High Stakes 2+2ers!

This fits me to a tee. But there is no contact information. You suck at gimmick accounts!! [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
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