Pedophilia and You

[BluffTHIS!]

So in other words, "old enough to bleed then old enough indeed".

What a great philosophy.

[hmkpoker]

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You missed the big STD, i.e. AIDS. And it only takes once. And regarding getting STD's, you are effectively screwing everyone your partner has if one person in your partner's chain of sexual experiences had such a disease and one or more of them either didn't use protection or that protection failed.

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Wow, I feel like I'm in Catholic school again. If the tests come up negative, you're almost certainly clear. A little common sense and responsibility go a long way.

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And regarding virgins and not cheating, how big of a barrier is a marriage bond, especially between non-religious spouses, to adultery, compared with those whose sexual history shows that they never considered the lack of same a barrier to sexual relationships? [/quote}

...what?

It seems like you're complicating a very simple issue: two people, with a physical attraction and intellectual/spiritual connection, fall in love, develop trust, figure out what they want, and the pieces fall where they may. There's no reason why two sexually experienced, reasonable people can't have a good monogamous relationship without needing marriage to sanctify it and protect them from themselves.

[Cyrus]

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My first sexual experience was with an experienced 43-year old woman.

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OK she was 43 but how old were you, if I may ask ?

[Cyrus]

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Until relatively recently 15/16 year old girls were generally already married (often to older men) and having kids.

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Jerry Lee Lewis, people. How soon we forget!

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In 1957, when he moved in with his bassist cousin J.W. Brown, 21-year old Lewis fell in love with Brown's 13-year-old daughter, Myra Gale....They courted on the sly, and then married in late 1957, not revealing it to her parents, with whom they both were living!...
...Their secret was kept until his deput concert tour of England. ...At Heathrow Airport, ...a reporter pulled Myra Gale aside and asked who she was. Myra, too naive to lie...revealed she was Mrs. Jerry Lee Lewis, and that she was 13....His tour was cancelled and he was hounded out of the country.
Back in America his professional life collapsed...and Lewis found his bookings canceled, his records not being played...and his former friends...turning their backs on him.

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[Peter666]

Psychologically speaking, old habits die hard. If one is sexually active with numerous partners, it is much more likely that they will continue that pattern sometime in the future. Sure, everything in the marriage is rosy the first 6 months, but after that things can get stale pretty fast. It is likely that partners will cheat on each other at some point which increases the likelihood of divorce.

Second is the nature of love. There is the Lord Byron quote which says that the first time a woman loves, it is for the man. After that she just falls in love with love. This is very true. I have noticed that girls who have had multiple partners tend to carry a lot of baggage into their next relationship, much more so than men. They just can't love a person quite as much as that first love, which is unfortunate. Oh, read the short story "The Dead" by James Joyce.

Of course, there is jealousy too. It is not nice to think that the person you love and cherish and have given everything too was dumb enough to be screwed really hard by someone else who used them as a piece of meat. Respect is lost.

From my personal observation, the happiest long term couples I know were virgins before they met or saved it for marriage. It lets you start things from a clean slate.

[Cumulonimbus]

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So in other words, "old enough to bleed then old enough indeed".

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[hmkpoker]

19. I started late, but not that late [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[hmkpoker]

Putting religion aside, I'd like to ask "What's wrong with having multiple relationships?"

I think most people best fit the model of "serial monogamists," wanting to experience different intimate relationships throughout their lifetime. I think that relating to different people intimately broadens your understanding of humanity and makes you a much wiser person. (Not to mention, I think that being with one and only one person for my entire life would be a bit boring)

This doesn't mean one should be promiscuous. A checkup here and there will let you know where you stand in terms of STDs. Is there anything wrong with this? I get the impression from you and BluffTHIS that there is some wonderful thing about being with one person for your whole life, but I personally don't see it.

[Darryl_P]

My theory about the optimal strategy for a straight male is to try to have sex with as many women as possible in his teens to mid 20s. Preferably he should go for more mature women because a) they have more experience and can teach him more and b) They won't have high expectations about a long-term relationship and so they won't get so messed up when he leaves them and moves on. Of course contraception should be used at all times.

Then when he's experienced a lot and hit full maturity (usually late 20s to early 30s, but for some maybe 50s or never) it's time to do a long hard search for the ideal long-term partner. Probably a young virgin would be the best choice, especially the type who insists on a long courtship (and possibly even marriage) before sex. The chances of a successful relationship and harmonious family life are about as high as they can get under this scenario IMO.

[hmkpoker]

Given that the male in this situation, presumably in his late twenties or early thirties, will have had a lot more experience in this area, don't you think it would be better for him to be with a partner who also has had similar experience? How is a grown man at the end of his youth going to relate to a young virgin who doesn't know squat about relationships?

I fail to see how this is advantageous.