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#1
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Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
Ok, so here is the scoop. I'm a junior in college in a demanding major and I have aspirations of going to med school. I'll be taking the MCAT in April and a result I have next to no free time on my hands starting two days ago, not even to play p****. Over the summer, I started dating this girl. It's been over 4 months now and it's definitely the real deal. She's fun, im wholly attracted to her, and she understands that I have other stuff going on and doesn't need me to be around all the time, nor is she clingy. I can see us staying together a long time and maybe even getting married some day, who knows. Basically, she's just way cooler than any other girl I've ever really known or been with. Here is a picture of her; she's the one on the left: GF
The one thing about her is that she is kind of jealous. I can talk about other girls as much as I want in front of her and it's no big deal but as soon as I go and talk to someone that she isn't friends with while she is around she gets pissed about it, sometimes openly and admittedly, and sometimes not. While she definitely keeps me on my toes, she's not exactly a MENSA threat, and sometimes leaves me wanting for a serious conversation/discussion and intellectual stimulation that comes with them. I'm the kind that likes to have those fairly often. Though I might add that my GF is excellent at other forms of stimulation, which is quite nice. So we are at the library the other day and this girl that I had a huge crush on Freshman year walks by and we start talking in front of my GF. This girl and I are friends in that we stop and talk whenever we see one another to see how everything is going but we don't hang out separately or anything like that (obviously). We certainly aren't "good friends" but I would like it if we were. She's really bright and cute and funny, possessing some of the things my girlfriend does not. Here is a picture of her, again on the left, as I know that is required on these hallowed pages: Friend that's a Girl So what I want to know is this: How should I go about continuing/starting friendly relationships with other girls without getting under my girlfriend's skin? I'd like to clarify that I have no intentions whatsoever of breaking up with my girlfriend, cheating on her, etc. It's just too good a thing to mess up. I simply want to be be able to hang out with other girls. Though in the case of the girl above, that might be somewhat of a euphemism for keeping our friendship on a level amenable to possible advancement should my current GF and I go by the wayside. I dunno. So I ask you, OOT, am I asking too much? Is there any way to get the best of both worlds of GF and friend or is there no woman in existence who is fully comfortable with this? All thoughts appreciated. |
#2
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
Read other threads. You don't really want to be friends with those other girls, you want to [censored] them. Stop lying to yourself.
Pretending, in the abstract, that you really don't want to [censored] them and just want to talk to them. Tell your girlfriend to learn to [censored] deal with it, because in any work and social environment, outside of the Russian baths, there are going to be other women. Oh, and you two will break up anyway once the proximity thing is gone. |
#3
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
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#4
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
Quick, edit and fix your links.
I know you should always be prepared, but if you're lining up backup plans, maybe you aren't as in love as you think. |
#5
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
Stick to having stimulating, intellectual relationships with men or tell your girlfriend to deal with it and don't give you [censored]. Those are your options.
Personally, I kind of understand where you're coming from. I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to. |
#6
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
OP, first link is still broken. yields "We're sorry, your session has timed out. To return to this shared album, please click on the 'View album' link in the invitation email." for me.
[ QUOTE ] I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to. [/ QUOTE ] Hmm, this is an interesting juxtaposition with the "wife's new buddy" thread. Where do they converge? Maybe it's a modification of the men/women as friends thing. Men & women can be friends *as long as* the sex *doesn't* get in the way? For some people, certain situations, it's (relatively) easy to keep the sex out of the equation. For others, not. |
#7
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] I like having stimulating conversation with women. They offer a different perspective on things. They are good for talking to about things that men don't talk about with each other. I actually wish I had more female friends that were willing to just be friends that I could talk to. [/ QUOTE ] Hmm, this is an interesting juxtaposition with the "wife's new buddy" thread. Where do they converge? Maybe it's a modification of the men/women as friends thing. Men & women can be friends *as long as* the sex *doesn't* get in the way? For some people, certain situations, it's (relatively) easy to keep the sex out of the equation. For others, not. [/ QUOTE ] I think if there's a hard wall up in terms of NO SEX or other male-female type emotional attachment, and you both know the wall is there, it leaves you open to talk about a lot of things. There's only a problem if one of you either violates the wall or is afraid the other one will. |
#8
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
The tricky thing is that, for women, all that talking tends to create a male-female attachment. Don't you think? A man takes an interest in her ideas/thoughts/dreams/interests...makes her laugh...pays attention to her...that can be the start of a great friendship. (It can also be the setup for great sex, too. I guess that's where the wall comes in.)
Walls and flirting. Some women/relationships, a man/woman can't flirt. Flirting leads to f***ing. Other relationships, a man/woman *can* flirt because they *know* there won't be any f***ing. Back to the OP's GF...probably she realizes that sometimes these female-friend-relationships lead nowhere and sometimes they lead to cheating--so just easier to say, Don't have any of them. And not worry about sorting it out. |
#9
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
[ QUOTE ]
The tricky thing is that, for women, all that talking tends to create a male-female attachment. Don't you think? A man takes an interest in her ideas/thoughts/dreams/interests...makes her laugh...pays attention to her...that can be the start of a great friendship. (It can also be the setup for great sex, too. I guess that's where the wall comes in.) Walls and flirting. Some women/relationships, a man/woman can't flirt. Flirting leads to f***ing. Other relationships, a man/woman *can* flirt because they *know* there won't be any f***ing. [/ QUOTE ] Yea. I guess I hope if the wall is there and I tell them I know the wall is there, they'll believe me and not worry about it. But you're right, both parties have to be in control of themselves enough to nipe any trouble in the bud. Personally, for me once I put the wall up, I have no problems. |
#10
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Re: Course of Action with Girls When in a Serious Relationship
Women are cats. They hate each other. That's why we men lie to women.
You think we like to lie? We have to. Don't deny what we men have been doing for thousands of years. |
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