favourite movie rants

[slickpoppa]

[ QUOTE ]
You're no saint. You got a free cab, you got a free room - and someone who'll listen to your boring stories! Didn't you notice on the plane when you started talking, eventually I started reading the vomit bag? Didn't that give you some sort of clue, like maybe this guy's not enjoying it?

You know, not everything is an anecdote, you have to discriminate! You choose things are funny or mildly amusing! You're a miracle! Your stories have none of that! They're not even amusing accidentally! "Honey, I'd like you to meet Del Griffith, he's got some amusing anecdotes for ya! And, oh, here's a gun so you can blow your brains out, you'll thank me for it!"

I could tolerate any insurance seminar. For days, I could sit there, and listen to them go on and on with a big smile on my face! And they'd say, "How can you stand it?" And I'd say, "Because I've been with Del Griffith, I can take anything!" Y'know what they'd say? They'd say, "I know what you mean, shower curtain ring guy...whoa!" It's like going on a date with a Chatty-Kathy doll. I expect you to have a string on your chest that you pull out and have to snap back. Except I wouldn't pull it out and snap it back, you would! Dyah dyah dyah dyah!

And, you know, when you're telling these little stories, here's a good idea: have a point. It makes it makes it so much more interesting for the listener!

[/ QUOTE ]

From the same movie:

- You can start by wiping that [censored] dumb-ass smile off your rosy [censored] cheeks. And you can give a [censored] automobile. A [censored] Buick, a [censored] Datson, a [censored] Toyota . . four [censored] wheels and a seat!
- I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
- And I don't really care for the way your company left me in the middle of [censored] nowhere with [censored] keys to a [censored] car that isn't [censored] there. And I really don't care to walk across a [censored] highway and across a [censored] runway just to get back here and have you smile at my [censored] face. I want a [censored] car, right, [censored], now.

[HoldingFolding]

Well, of all the causes to take up, AIDS, cancer... hunger, poverty. I've always felt there was something special about people who commit themselves to guns. Anyone I suppose could contribute to a shelter or help the needy, but it takes a true American to dedicate himself to firearms. And you know what? We need people like you. Our country's getting a bad rep just because we kill each other. Well, that's manly... shooting people. United States, this is were men live. Australia, all their stupid bragging about how tough they are in the outback. They get about... 15 gun homicides a year. What the hell is that? We get ten thousand. The Japanese are even more pathetic. In 1999 for kids between 15 and 19 they didn't have one handgun murder, not one! We had over five thousand! Our teenagers are tough, but it can't happen unless we get the guns out there into their hands and for that we need committed, good people like all of you. Look at these idiots in Washington who think it's wrong for teenagers to have assault rifles. And the stupid Democrats think we should have ten day waiting periods. What happens if you need to kill somebody today? Next thing the government will try to crack down on incest and we won't be able to breed future NRA members. I mean, we are talking about the toothless illiterates that makes this country great. This is America. Get a gun!