I suck at closing

[Ulysses]

Jeebus,

Wow, that part w/ the chick wanting to get high and you HAVING WEED BACK AT YOUR PLACE is really pathetic.

OK. You need to keep it super simple. One line that will work in every single situation.

So, from now on, anytime you get yourself into one of these spots, use the following: "Hey, I'm having a party at my house now, you should come over."

I used this throughout my 20s with great success. Sometimes, you will need to frantically make some phone calls to get some other people to come over. Most times it won't matter.