Is my dad cheating on my mom? (xposted to OOT, yeah, i'm a moron)

lastchance · #1 12-10-2005, 03:01 PM

My parents have had a lousy marriage for a long time, and I guess it didn't really surprise me that much, considering how emotional my mom gets (I probably subconsciously knew for a while).

Friday Night, and my dad tells me I have to wake up at 10:00 if I want to go to lunch with him on saturday morning(normally, we wake up at 11:00 to pick up my little sister). When I ask him if I can stay in the car and listen to the radio, he tells me I can't, so he's going to drop me off at the library.

Note: Saturday morning is the only time during the weekend when my mom is going to be consistently out, and my sister is in school (chinese school, don't ask).

Even worse, about 6 months or so ago, my mom came out and flat out told me that my dad was having an affair with his secretary.

I'm still in HS, so tell me
A) WTF is going on right now?
and
B) WTF do I do?

#2 12-10-2005, 03:10 PM

you're going to have two families soon. more presents at christmas.

ClockWyze · #3 12-10-2005, 03:18 PM

I think this sort of thing happens WAY more than people realize.

keep your head up son.. There is nothing you can do.. !!

Autocratic · #4 12-10-2005, 03:51 PM

You'll need more evidence to establish this. However, you must remember this - no matter what someone says, this is not "none of your business." You have the option of confronting your dad about this if you find proof, and if you find this option viable, I'd start thinking about how to handle it now.

#5 12-10-2005, 05:04 PM

Your mom may just have a lot of suspicions only, but her gut instincts could very well be right. And she may even have proof. Either way, I'd advise you not to ask or concern yourself with the details. They won't be pretty. True or not.

They evidently have problems. Every married couple does. If you start learning details you may start siding with one of them. That's what I think will cause you more more grief. Just accept that they might not be able to work them out. A lot of couples do resolve things. My wife and I did.

You want them both in your life for as long as they're around. You can best help them by staying neutral. They both love you and neither wants to see you hurt. They know this is going to affect you and your sister, a lot. Just let them know how much you love them and no matter what, you always will.

Your sister is going to need your help, too. Talk about it with her. Be honest with each other. Together, you'll each get stronger.

Above all, do not try to put any of the blame on yourself. Neither you or your sister had a single thing to do with it. Using kids as an excuse is just complete BS and an unwillingness to accept responsibility.

Problems with kids is normal, too. And couples in a strong marriage face those problems together. They don't use them as an excuse for a bad marriage.

I'm sorry about your situation. Good luck to you and your sister. God bless both of you.