Horrible/crazy/funny roommate stories?

[GrannyMae]

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The last 5 years of my life (mostly college, I'm 23 now) I've always roommed in dorms and apartments with emotionally and mentally sound good friends of mine. We never fought or had any issues. While this was good for my stress levels, I am now left without any awesomely horrible roommate experiences and stories.

Surely, all of you couldn't have been as lucky as me. Tell me your horrible/crazy/funny roommate stories.

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when i was in college (wayyy back), i woke up during a drunken pass-out with my genitals in my frat president's mouth.

please do not ask if it felt good. i refuse to answer

[bravos1]

OK.. so I just moved out to California after grad'ing from college and myself and 3 other buddy's were renting a house together. Me, 2 of my roomates and about 12 other people are partying it up in the backyard when my 3rd roomate comes out buck naked. Nothing new for him as he always seemed to lose much of his clothes when he got drunk [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] Anyhow, he explains how he took 5 shots of grain alchohol about 10 minutes ago and now has to take a piss. He says that he is going to piss some major fire. So he proceeds to piss into our fire pit we had going. He figured with all he had to drink his piss would be flammable. (yes he was this dumb sober too!) Upset that his pecker was not a flamethrower he vanished for a few minutes. He then returns, still naked, but carrying a bucket from the garage. He gathers everyone's attention will some whacked out speech and then dumps the bucket into the fire with a hip thrusting motion. Next thing I see is a big ball of fire headed to the sky and then see him dancing around the friggin yard like a fool screaming like crazy. We find out later that he went to the garage and filled this bucket about 1/3 full with gasoline. While pouring it into the bucket, he splashed gas all over his waist and genitals. We ended up calling 911 and an ambulance rushed him to the hospital because he was burnt pretty bad (2nd and 3rd degree burns on his pecker and stomach. From that day on we always referred to him as the The Flaming Dick.

[lucas9000]

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i can;t follow that but here's what i got.

like the 2nd week of freshman yr, my rm disappeared for 3 days. never saying he was going anywhere, but he had a gf that went to school a few blocks away so i wasn't concerned. when he does finaly decide to check in, its a phone call at 3am asking me not to come back to the room for at least another 90mins cause his gf was over.

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this is a really, really lame story.

[ghostface]

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like the 2nd week of freshman yr, my rm disappeared for 3 days. never saying he was going anywhere, but he had a gf that went to school a few blocks away so i wasn't concerned. when he does finaly decide to check in, its a phone call at 3am asking me not to come back to the room for at least another 90mins cause his gf was over

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I don't get it [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

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See, the girl, she pooped in the middle of the floor, and stepped in it... big mess.

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After the first story I could barely contain my beverage, but it came spewing out after this comment.

[2+2 wannabe]

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like the 2nd week of freshman yr, my rm disappeared for 3 days. never saying he was going anywhere, but he had a gf that went to school a few blocks away so i wasn't concerned. when he does finaly decide to check in, its a phone call at 3am asking me not to come back to the room for at least another 90mins cause his gf was over.

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Wtf. Not only is this not a "horrible/crazy/funny" story, it's not even a story.

You may as well have said: "This one time, my roomate ordered pizza, but couldn't eat it all, so he ate the rest later." That would have been equally interesting.

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what kind of pizza?