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  #41  
Old 12-12-2005, 07:15 AM
bholdr bholdr is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

[ QUOTE ]
I find this quote amusing. "Sure, I use to be an addict, but now I only smoke once a day."

I do empathize with your problem. An addict myself, I had to find my own bottom and my own way out. And then the desire to help my friends do the same. Unfortunately it doesn't work like that. Not really sure how it works. Your friend will be in my prayers tonight.

[/ QUOTE ]


well... i AM an atheist, since there's no god, etc, but...

thanks. i really appreciate your thoughts (and prayers). I seem to own my own problems, while others are owned by theirs... i have been very lucky and am thankful for that, so far.

hmmmm...
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  #42  
Old 12-12-2005, 07:50 AM
chesspain chesspain is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

[ QUOTE ]
it's fine to post it here, but this is another one where the psych forum (which has actual psychologists in there somtimes) might have better answers.

[/ QUOTE ]

I saw this thread while waking up with my coffee this frosty Monday morning, so I'll give it a shot. Unfortunately, as others have stated, there isn't much that you can do. It is difficult enough to help and support an addict who wants to stay clean and sober; it is nearly impossible to help someone like your friend who is on a self-destructive binge-ride until they hit rock-bottom, which for some people is a truly scary place.

The OP's best bet would likely be some type of "intervention," although I will be honest and state that I know little about how to do this. I would assume that there must be websites and/or books for how to try to attempt this. However, you would want to try to talk to her when she is not wasted--which may be quite a challenge it itself.

Short of attempting to convince her to get clean and sober, which is definately no better than a two outer, I would advise the OP to focus more on taking care of herself. Meaning, if the friend is a roommate (this wasn't clear from the post), try to take immediate action so that you are no longer living together, so that her lifestyle doesn't endanger you by the friends she keeps. Otherwise, I would just tell the OP to remind himself that there is little that he (she?) can do to help. Indeed, it is extremely painful to watch addicts spiral downwards into the abyss, especially when it is nearly impossible to help. It is OK to realize that you have the right to emotionally divest yourself from her at this time. You can be there to assist her if and when she asks for genuine help. Otherwise, just say a prayer and hope for the best.

Sincerely,

Dr. chesspain
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  #43  
Old 12-12-2005, 08:20 AM
bholdr bholdr is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

[ QUOTE ]
I would advise the OP to focus more on taking care of himself.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm covered; it's not really an issue in this particular situation. (FYP)


[ QUOTE ]
It is OK to realize that you have the right to emotionally divest yourself from her at this time.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have the right to walk away, sure... I'm won't, though.

[ QUOTE ]
Otherwise, I would just tell the OP to remind himself that there is little that he (she?) can do to help. Indeed, it is extremely painful to watch addicts spiral downwards into the abyss, especially when it is nearly impossible to help.

[/ QUOTE ]
i aggree with you, but, man, that really sucks, huh?

[ QUOTE ]
Sincerely,

[/ QUOTE ]

thanks. -B
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  #44  
Old 12-12-2005, 11:34 AM
vexvelour vexvelour is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

bholdr-

I've been in your situation too many times. It's really up to her to decide if she wants to listen. The best advice I can give you is to try and catch her maybe after shes gotten some sleep and before she hits the blow again. Sit her down and go over the events that have happened in her life over the past few weeks and how ridiculous she's acting and how far from reality she's strayed. Explain that you care enough that you WILL do something, whether it's call the cops or drive her to a rehab clinic and you won't let up until she's straightened her [censored] out.

The key is to apply constant pressure to the situation until something (on her part) is done. If you give her even a window of opportunity to kick you out of her life or go and blow coke again, it will be a neverending story until she's dead/locked up for good.

I hope this helps you. At one point in my life almost everyone I knew blew lines (me included) all day everyday. When I started throwing up blood while it was running out of my nose I decided I had to do something about the situation. I think I'm just really realistic and once the bubble of "this is so great" popped, I could never go back. This is the outcome you're aiming for: make her see that it's killing her.
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  #45  
Old 12-12-2005, 11:44 AM
bwana devil bwana devil is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

[ QUOTE ]
it's fine to post it here, but this is another one where the psych forum (which has actual psychologists in there somtimes) might have better answers.

[/ QUOTE ]

it always bugs me when people post these type of things in the pysch forum. the psych forum is under the header "general gambling" so it should be reserved for psychological issues related specifically to gambling.

just one man's opinion,

bwana
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  #46  
Old 12-12-2005, 11:58 AM
eviljeff eviljeff is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? in

[ QUOTE ]
The OP's best bet would likely be some type of "intervention,"

[/ QUOTE ]

errr, I dunno dude. I've heard (and it seems reasonable) that interventions have a very low success rate and they're actually more so that the intervenors can feel like they've done all they can. I really can't imagine this girl reacting positively to an intervention after what happened when OP confronted her last time.
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  #47  
Old 12-12-2005, 12:03 PM
bwana devil bwana devil is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?

that's good that you're not calling the cops. not because of trust issues but because the justice system does not rehabilitate offenders. putting people in jail for carrying coke or crack doesnt cure people of addiction. it never has and it never will.

as people mentioned before and what it sounds like youre saying also, you cant will your friend to stop doing drugs. express to your friend how concerned you are. give your friend your support. tell her specifically what she has done to damage her life and to damage yours from her addiction. and getting other close friends involved can also be helpful too.

after that be available. good luck.

bwana
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  #48  
Old 12-12-2005, 12:37 PM
Marnixvdb Marnixvdb is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?

Radiate a very clear message both in words and in actions.

If she is on a lot of drugs, don't hesitate to make decisions for her (like you did). It may very likely anger her, but you shouldnt take any part of that anger personal.

Obviously she will have to come out of it herself. You can be support to help her stabilize. To be that support, you must be confident and very clear. Be very rational when she is high, be sensisitive when she is sober.

How did your friends help you? The same approach may not work, since you are both different characters, but think about the mindset they had, and how you view them and what they did now, compared to how you viewed them and their actions when they started pulling you out.

gl

Marnix
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  #49  
Old 12-12-2005, 12:40 PM
DoomSlice DoomSlice is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?

Intervention. Call Dr. Phil (I am absolutely serious about this).
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  #50  
Old 12-12-2005, 12:41 PM
Meech Meech is offline
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Default Re: have freind with drug problem... it\'s really scaring me. help? info?

[ QUOTE ]
You can't do anything til she hits rock bottom and wants to help herself. She obviously has more issues that you or anyone here has the expertise to deal with. Quit trying to be the "fixer", its hard but you have to let go. You can try to get her help, but don't go down with the ship.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is the correct answer -- unfortunately. The people advocating calling the cops are idiots.
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