Finding meaning in life

[Atropos]

I have the same problem as you. Many people have. Do you know "The Outsider" written by Colin Wilson? It's a great book remotely dealing with your problem. One of it's main ideas is that there are some people - possibly like you - who have too much energy and have to find something they can focus on, or they will go down. You probably already know this, so it wont help you too much. Easiest way is to go with Sartre and just conclude that since everything is meaningless, every path is worth the same. The only real important thing is to chose a path and stick with it.

[PairTheBoard]

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Here's one very simple thing you might try (which does not depend on, and has nothing particular to do with, a belief in God).

It's this: find someone to help.

In other words, find someone who needs something that you can freely and easily give them. It might be money, it might be time, it might be knowledge. Whatever it is, don't force it on them, and don't demand anything in return.

Try it. You might like it.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not claiming to be somebody who goes around performing great deeds of charity. But if you're wondering about the meaning of your life, it may be that you're focussing too much on yourself, and not enough on the fact that you're one of billions on this planet. Helping somebody in some way might give you a chance to look outwards for a while, rather than inwards, if that makes sense.

Just my 2 cents.

Best Wishes,

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Great suggestion. I have a friend who gives some of his time as a hospice volunteer - spending time with terminally ill people. He finds it enriching and enlightening.

PairTheBoard

[PairTheBoard]

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Forget about finding a meaning. Concentrate on formulating a mission. Once you have found your mission in life, your life will have meaning.

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.

PTB

[OtisTheMarsupial]

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Apparently he read my post, decided meaning could exist apart from god, and then felt the need to post it in reply. I hope he does well.


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Thank you, and, likewise I wish you well.

Regards.
I'm off to pursue my meaningful life...

[DavidL]

Dear friend

Yours sounds like a cry from the heart, and I feel a certain empathy. But I would have to say that, on balance, I'm currently happy with my "lot". Hence I offer you the hope that it is somehow possible to find some kind of happiness amongst the ever-present feelings of anxiety and restlessness.

My experience is that life has gotten easier as I have grown older (I am 43), have come to accept myself, to terms with the turmoil called life that rages on around me, and worry less about what others think about me.

Much of what I'm about to say has already been expressed here. There have been, IMHO, some very good responses. Here are mine:

1. Are you over-analyzing? I endorse what has been said, that by focussing on the "philosophical" at the expense of the "existential", we can end up reducing our world-view to meaninglessness. Everything can be trivialized, if we choose to view it that way. I have not studied philosophy formally, but I have read (and contemplated) enough to satisfy myself, that all "if P then Q" type arguments ultimately resolve themselves into initial premises, assumptions and – eventually – subjective convictions and choices. IMH-and-very-unsophisticated-O, all knowledge begins with experience. I believe that "the heart has reason that reason can not fully grasp"; that I can not fully empathize until I've have experienced something "existentially" myself; that the process of communication somehow dilutes the actual reality of experience. We may seek security in reason and knowledge, and there is nothing wrong with that, but our emotional and intuitive processes are nonetheless real. Analysis may somehow attempt define existential pain, but no amount of analysis will ever "feel", or solve, it.

2. Are your expectations of life too high? Try to find contentment, and pleasure, in simple things. Appreciate the good things that life has to offer. Set your goals and expectations high, but realistically: definitely aim for the impossible, but prepare yourself for the fact that the higher the aim, the more vulnerable we are to underachievement. Accept this possibility.

3. Attempt to forge meaningful relationships, especially with family. Beyond this, try to find like-minded friends, with whom you can really share yourself, and reciprocate empathy and understanding.

4. As was said elsewhere: find something that really interests or motivates you, develop it into a goal, a mission, and then pursue it with passion and commitment. Fill the vacuum that is life with meaningful activity. Try to accept unresolvedness and unfinishedness: if we were already at the ultimate destination, the journey would lose much of its meaning. The end result provides the reflective satisfaction; the journey the exhilaration.

5. As has also been said elsewhere in this thread: many find real meaning in giving to others, in sacrificing their lives so that the less fortunate may benefit: "it is more blessed to give than to receive". Parenthood is perhaps a simple, close-to-home, example of this: unselfishly responding to our children's demands can be exhausting – and exasperating – at times, but ask any dedicated parent whether s/he would rather turn the clock back, and live life childless, and their answer will almost assuredly be "no way"! Evidence that it is by "losing ourselves that we find ourselves".

6. Don't underrate yourself. You are of great value, and have much potential to reach, and influence, the lives of other people.

7. Do your best to maintain a sense of humor. What movie has made you laugh – really laugh – in the past? Watch it over and over. Laughter is a great medicine.

8. I am a Christian, in that I believe in the deity of Jesus, and have accepted Him as my Savior and Lord. However, unlike some of the other posters on this forum, my faith tends more toward an "existential Jesus is my true friend and mentor" foundation, rather than an "iron clad, rigorously philosophical, Bible is an infallible legal treatise" basis. I believe that Jesus condescends to meet all those who approach Him with humility and honesty, and seeks a love-relationship, in marked contrast to a "let's use whatever means are necessary to get him to sign the contract that will save his soul" approach used by many Christians. For me, the former is the Jesus who accepts all-comers, even the unclean, and who says "come unto me all who are heavy laden, and I will give you rest". I won't attempt to proselytize any further here, because I believe that individuals need to search for the answers by themselves, and in their own way, but I do acknowledge that knowing Jesus has somehow enriched my life in a behind-the-scenes way that I (at least, intuitively) don't think any other religious or philosophical outlook could have.

I sincerely hope that you find a way out of your rut. This is probably not much consolation in the fact that most of us have all been there at some point, but I suspect that it is nonetheless true.

Take care
David

[wildwood]

"When you die, noone will remember what kind of house you lived in or what kind of car you drove, but if you make the difference in the life of a child, that can live forever." Author unknown

"Live as if if you were to die tommorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Gandhi

[WVMountainSnake]

I [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Nillism! Pain and suffering take up so much time. Lonliness dominates our thoughts. We are all scared, all insecure little children in search of an immortal mother who is not coming.

[Pete H]

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What I don't like in teaching philosophy, is that it's mostly reading a book and some minor chitchat afterwards.

I don't remember who said that math and chess are only things that should be taught in schools, as they teach you to think.
I agree that thinking is the most important ability we have and those who really think are usually curious and learn new things voluntarily.

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Actually, I think that you're wrong that philosophy doesn't make people think. One of the most important things that philosophy tries to teach people is how to critically think. But other than this tiny disagreement, good post [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

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I agree 100% that philosophy should be about teaching critical thinking, but at least what I've seen here in Finland, it's not about that.

But that might be 'cos our school system overall rewards memorizing instead of critical thinking.

[FrankStallone]

I'm not the smartest, not the fastest and my stool is loose.. Coming to grips with the fact that life isn't perfect is something I've had a hard time doing and it's a major reason many a life is bitter and angry..and my life is kinda that way now. Many of my goals were achieved with the constant need for validation from others. How can you get away from this thinking when it is the major reason for my goals that are reached???..Do you have to unteach yourself when your current ways cause the loss of friends and moods that hang on how your trip to ac went>>. I don't make much sense but the posters earlier do and have given me chills just at the fact that they care. Random people care.. IT seems that we are all one and will be back as one after we die. So when you are nice to someone you are being nice to yourself and that might be why charity is a refuge from anger and depression.. I'm young and scattered (can't spell either) so sorry if this is nonsense

[Exsubmariner]

Here's one no one has mentioned:
WIN.
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